


Cassie's Choice

by rainbowflavored_fiction



Category: Almost Adults (2016)
Genre: Ace!Levi, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cassie is an awkward bisexual, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Everything Is Canon In Fanfic Land, F/F, Friends to Lovers, I Blame Tumblr, I Will Go Down With This Ship, LGBTQ Themes, Mack is a useless lesbian, Mackassie - Freeform, Multi, Spoiler Alert: This Book Is Gay, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 54,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowflavored_fiction/pseuds/rainbowflavored_fiction
Summary: Growing up is hard. Coming out is harder. Falling in love with your best friend sucks. Until it doesn’t.In Mackenzie’s life, she was always certain of these three things: one, she loves food. Two, she’s a lesbian. Three, she’s in love with her best friend. After coming out to her parents goes horribly wrong and not what she expected to hear, Mackenzie and Cassie’s relationship takes a surprisingly strange turn that neither girl was prepared for. Meanwhile, Cassie is struggling with her own sexual identity after her horrible break up with her ex, Mathew. In this new, strange life they share together, they both come to realize that no matter what you identify as, learning how to be an adult is the worst.





	1. Mack Comes Out

**Author's Note:**

> I remember watching Almost Adults my first time and thinking, "...that's it?" It was a good movie, don't get me wrong. I adored seeing Natasha and Elise act as best friends for a change rather than love interests and the characters we're familiar with. I'm envious of Natasha's wardrobe xD But I remember feeling oddly unsatisfied once it was finished. I wanted to connect with these characters. I wanted to feel for Mackenzie as she came out, to cry, to laugh along with her. As I talked with some people who had the same concerns, I came to the conclusion that it was unrealistic for Mackenzie to be MAD about her parents being happy for her, and throughout the movie, continued that as a running gag that got old really quickly.
> 
> Little did I know that I would have to wait several months afterwards to have a true gay cinematic experience with "Love, Simon" and "Disobedience", but I digress.
> 
> I'm not sure how it started, or if I knew "Cassie's Choice" was going to become as big as it did. But next thing I knew, I was sending a message to Gabi (Nootvanlis) asking her if she was interested in a completely new take on the film. Everything kind of exploded on from there, and after getting messages from mutuals asking if I was serious about it, I decided to take matters into my own hands and heed to my calling. Nine months and 54,000 words later, it's finally done. I didn't write this story to "fix" or "rewrite" it's predecessor. I didn't write it to show the GWC what a feel good, LGBT film is supposed to be like. Because everyone's vision is different. Everyone's story is different. I wrote it for me. For Gabriel. For Skuylar. For Katie. For Jill. For Grace. For Christina. I wrote it to test my abilities as a writer and bend the fictional universe to its limits, and here is the result. It's honestly been the most back-breaking, emotional, heart wrenching experiences I've ever gone through with writing something of this nature, and I'm quite pleased with the result. I'm a different person now than when I started writing this back in September, and I've grown attached to these characters and their canon counterparts. It'd mean the world to me if you gave this story a chance.
> 
> Without further ado, I humbly present to you "Cassie's Choice." I do not own Almost Adults. Everything belongs to Adrianna and Sarah of the GayWomen'sChannel. This is a work of fiction. 
> 
> Enjoy~

 

 

 

> **_"Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the outside, there's this invisible line that I have to cross to really be apart of everything and I just can't ever cross it." -Love, Simon_ **
> 
> * * *
> 
>   ** _Part I_**

**_On Love: Agape_ **

**_Chapter One: Mack Comes Out_ **

* * *

 

 

   **January 5 th, 2016 **

              MACKENZIE WOKE UP TIRED.

       Her mind tossed and turned all night, unsure of her future and what might come the following morning. The rain pitter pattered against her window, as she stared solemnly at the gloomy streets of Toronto below her. Most days Mackenzie loved the rain. It helped the flowers grow, and the cherry blossoms bloom in a brilliant display of pinks and reds. To Mackenzie, when it rained it meant that the world was getting cleansed, washing away the sorrows and woes of everyone’s soul. When the sun came out, and a beautiful rainbow shone right after the rain, it was Mackenzie’s favorite part of nature. It helped her feel like she belonged here, in this strange, unforgiving world she called home.

     It was a new year, and she hoped that this time it’d treat her kindly.

        However, the rain today caused Mackenzie to feel melancholy, as demons were plaguing her mind and clenching at her throat. They held her down and threatened her that if one word was spoken they’d pull the trigger. That her world would turn bleak and grey. That they’d take the colors away from her. That nothing would ever be the same again.

           She closed her eyes again, swallowing thickly. Words threatened to tumble out of her lips in a slew of anxious rambling, but she shut her mouth. Her mind hurt with all the thoughts swirling inside of it and her eyes stung with tears.

       She felt the bed dip beside her, and a comforting pair of arms wrap around her.

  She calmed, but it was only for a second.

         Home.

   Cassie was her home.

             There were so many things she wanted to say.

     _Cassie, I’m a lesbian._

_Cassie, I never want to leave you._

_Cassie, I’m so in love with you._

_Cassie, Cassie, Cassie…_

_Cassie…_

“Did you sleep in my bed again last night?” Her words came out tired, with more weight to them. Her best friend had been sleeping in her bed for the last three months after her horrible break up with her ex. It wasn't... exactly a great way to end off their year.

       “No, I just came up this morning to cuddle with you.” Cassie mumbled, rubbing her shoulder.

       Mackenzie sucked in a deep breath. Each touch Cassie gave her sent shivers up her spine, lit a fire in her heart that reminded Mackenzie why she was in love with this woman.

       “I get it that you’re like, obsessed with me,” Mack breathed, turning over to marvel at how beautiful Cassie’s sleepy face is, “But you have like a really nice big bed and that’s only like ten feet away! It’s really not that hard to walk to.”

      “Well, your bed is so comfy. And besides, it’s weird sleeping without Mathew. I’m just not used to it yet.”

      “So, you’re… using me?” Mack asked playfully, knowing that they’ve been sleeping in each other’s beds for years.

       “Duh,” Cassie teases, and they roll over so she could become the big spoon. “So who’s going to make breakfast today?”

          The young woman sighed. She buried her face into her pillow, words threatening to tumble out of her lips. She licked her lips, attempting to speak. The demons in her mind silenced her, and a quiet, unwelcome sob escaped her.

        “Hey,” Cassie said, gently tracing her fingers in Mack’s hair, “What’s wrong, Mackie?” She only called her that under emergency circumstances. “Please talk to me. Did you have a bad dream?” Mackenzie bit her lip as she turned over to face Cassie, tears welling in her eyes. She shook her head. “Come here.” Cassie urges, and sat up so her best friend could properly hug her. 

         The best thing about Cassie was that she never pushed Mack to tell what was going on in her mind. They’ve survived hell together, and Cassie just somehow knew when her best friend was upset. Knew when she was on the verge of having a panic attack. Knew when the demons clouded Mack’s brain so much she couldn’t focus, and everything in her world turned to shit. Cassie kept her grounded, reminding her of all the beautiful things in this world that staying alive was the best option there is.

            “You have to promise never to leave me,” Mack whispered, as Cassie rocked her back and forth. “You’re all I have.”

            “I could never think of anyone leaving you, darling,” Cassie replied, caressing her cheek, “I made that promise seventeen years ago, remember?”

             Mack nods, swallowing thickly and attempting to speak before tears streamed down her face again. They held each other for a long moment, Mack burying her face into Cassie’s chest as she rubbed her back, whispering loving words to her.

       “Cassie,” She took a deep breath, clutching her arms tight, “Th-there’s… something that I need to tell you.”

           “Oh my god, did you murder someone?” Cassie blurts, a pained look on her face, “Is that why you’re so upset?” She then starts to panic, “Are we going to hide the body?”

           “I—what—no, Cassie!” Mack blurts, and a tiny giggle escaped her lips.

    “There she is,” Her best friend grins, cupping her cheek. Mack blushes, resting their foreheads together. “Talk to me.”

                “Cassie,” Mack said, her eyes pouring into Cassie’s soul. “I’m gay.” The words tumbled out, those two, little words that have been plaguing her for so many years. Tears sprung in her eyes as Cassie’s lips curled into a proud smile, “I’m a lesbian.”

                “I know, baby.” She chuckled, squeezing her shoulders, “I’ve been reading your diary since we were five.”

            “CASSIE. ANNABELLE. MARTIN!” Mack screeches, suddenly grabbing her best friend and hitting her, “YOU’VE KNOWN I WAS A LESBIAN AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!”

       “I wanted you to figure it out for yourself. It wasn’t my place to say, ‘hey babe, I think you’re gay but that’s cool I wouldn’t love you any less.’” Cassie blurts, throwing her hands up in exasperation.  

    A delirious laugh escapes Mack’s lips. She collapses on top of Cassie, burying her face into her neck, as her laughter turns to crying. She feels weightless, like someone strapped her body on a tightrope, and her soul was soaring above the clouds.

     Cassie still loves her.

 Even though she’s a lesbian, Cassie still wants to be her best friend.

        “I married you when we were kids, asshole. Did you ever think for a second I’d divorce you over something like this?” Cassie smiles, giving her cheek a kiss. “I love you. And I’m so proud of you for figuring this out.”

           Mack huffed and wiped her eyes, remembering the day when they married in Cassie’s backyard. Their parents were hesitant, unsure if this was just for play or if they truly loved each other, but went along with the ceremony anyways. She remembered her grandmother being the most supportive, crying as they said their “vows”. Mack reasoned with herself that yes, even then she did love Cassie, but she just didn’t understand the word or why her heart pulled her towards her best friend.

            “I love you too.” Mack breathed, and hugged her again. Cassie giggled, peppering her face with kisses as they cuddled in bed together.

      “I wish I was brave like you are,” Her best friend sighs, tracing her hand on Mack’s face. She had a longing look in her eyes.

       “Cass,” She replied, swallowing. “You’re the bravest person I know. I’m not brave. I freak out if there’s a fucking centipede in our bathroom and you’re the one who has to kill it like a badass.” 

          “Not like that.” Cassie murmurs, and Mack waited on her to elaborate. She didn’t. The words hung in the air between them, mocking her, and Mack watched her with trepidation. Finally, Cassie spoke up again.

       “I think this calls for celebratory pancakes.”

 “Blueberry pancakes?”

            “Fine.”

    “Yes!”

          “On one condition,” Mack whines, and Cassie leans in close. “Always find a reason to smile for me.”

      _You’re my reason,_ Mack thought. But she was speechless. She admired every freckle on Cassie’s face, her beautiful brown eyes, her plump lips. She mutely nodded, and her best friend smiles.

   Gorgeous.

      “C’mon, time to get up.”

“No…” She begged, clutching onto Cassie, “Five more minutes?”

            “Aren’t you hungry?” She asks, and as if on cue, Mack’s stomach growls. Cassie laughs and pokes at it, “Rhetorical question, Mack.”

         Mackenzie sighs and leans back into bed as Cassie gets up, more than ready to face the day. The heaviness in Mack’s heart is gone now, and it is replaced with a light fluttering. She hides her face in her hands and rolls over, letting out a happy laugh.

    Suddenly the rain didn’t make her so sad anymore.

 

        After eating home-cooked pancakes (Mack is amazed by how great Cassie is at cooking, while all she’s capable of doing is burning ramen noodles. And they BOTH took cooking classes) and the rain stopped, they went out on a walk to the local park for the day. Holding hands with Cassie, talking with her, loving her, all felt so different now. It was as if their relationship changed to a deeper level none of them could grasp yet, but both knew that things wouldn’t be the same after today.  

         “Are you falling asleep, Mackie?” Cassie giggled, rubbing her stomach.

  “No, I’m just resting my eyes. You know when I eat a lot I get tired afterwards.” Mack mumbles, snuggling up to her on their blanket.

         “Sure, Mack. Sure.” She says, giving her cheek a kiss, and then frowns at her phone, “Can you help me delete all these pictures I have of Mathew?”

       “Gladly,” Mack replies with vigor, and happily deletes every photo there was. After each one disappeared, she watched as Cassie became more relaxed, and Mack’s heart became lighter. Mathew was a topic they rarely discussed. He left a sour taste in Mack’s mouth, as she disliked the man from the very beginning. Cassie and Mack went out to a bar three years ago to celebrate a research paper she received an _A_ on, and it was during then Mack felt confident to relay her feelings she had for Cassie all those years.

         She was so sure she was going to tell her, say she’s a lesbian, and rip off the pain like a band-aid. But then Mathew came along, looking full of himself and handsome, and steals Cassie’s heart before she could. Mack remembers walking home from the bar to their other friend Levi’s house, with a broken heart, and cried herself to sleep in Levi’s arms.

           Levi called Cassie the next morning yelling at her, upset that she completely forgot about her best friend the whole night. Their relationship was on a rocky road ever since that night.  

      But now Mathew’s gone. He wanted to marry Cassie, but for some reason Cassie turned him down. She wasn’t ready. She was too young. There were probably a billion other reasons going on in Cassie’s mind that night not to marry him. Mack held onto the false hope that Cassie must have some feelings for her, but she knew it was too good to be true.  

     “Cassie,” Mack spoke up, as she looked up from where she was resting her head on her breasts, “Can I be honest with you for a second?” Her best friend nods, “These last three years… have been the worst of my life. I felt so abandoned every time you went out with Mathew. I mean, I understand that you loved him, and he was the first guy to ever take you seriously, but… I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to get mad at me or say that I’m being self-absorbed. I was missing you even when you were with me because all you talked about was Mathew and it hurt me because you were so happy _and I_ used to make you that happy,” She shook her head as tears sprung in her eyes, “I’m so sorry. This was selfish of me to say.”

       Cassie didn’t say anything at first. Tears glistened in her eyes as she engulfed Mack into a hug, and buried her face in her neck. “I’m an idiot.”

        “No, babe. I’m an idiot for not speak up sooner.”

   “I’m a horrible friend for even making you feel that way! Friends shouldn’t do that to one another! Regardless of who our partners are, we’re a package deal! Our partners should know that and be respectful of how close we are,” Cassie sighs, “I remember getting into arguments with Mathew because he didn’t like you and felt that you were a bad influence on me. I stopped him right there because he hasn’t been in my life for as long as you have. Looking back, I realize now why you were often so depressed. Abandoning you wasn’t intentional darling, I hope you know that.”

            “You have a lot of time to make it up to me now, dork,” Mack giggles, snuggling up to her again. “The next time a new guy comes into your life can you make sure he passes the best friend test first?”

             “There won’t be a new guy for a long while, Mackie,” Cassie admits shyly, linking their hands together, “I want to focus on myself and my relationship with you from now on. You’re the only one who’s kept me sane all these years. Not some rando from off the street.”

            “Because I’m the only one who can deal with your bossiness and nagging.” Mack playfully jabs, and Cassie’s mouth gapes open. 

       “What the fuck, Mack! I’m not bossy!”

     “Mack, did you even put on deodorant this morning? Mack, did you forget to water to water the plants again? Mack, why haven’t you taken our clothes out to the laundry mat?” She mocks, “Honestly you’re so high maintenance it’s no wonder a guy hasn’t stuck around you for so long.”

              “You’re mean.” Cassie mumbles, rolling over so she could fully wrap herself around Mackenzie.

       “I speak the truth.” She chuckles, and Cassie just glares at her. They stuck their tongues out at each other for a second before snuggling close, and took a nap.

     A week passes on faster than expected, but if possible Mack and Cassie grew even closer during that time. They spend their nights cuddled together on the couch, watching Netflix or finishing homework for their classes. They were attached by the hip all the time, as Mack would walk her to class and then give her a chaste kiss on the cheek as she left.

    Their touches were always so gentle and soft.

    Mack always knew Cassie took her relationships seriously, but she didn’t realize until now how frighteningly domestic Cassie could be. Every morning she would leave an extra coffee cup before she left. Or she would leave an extra towel out for Mack after she showered. Sometimes they would just hold each other in comfortable silence, as they watched the busy streets of Toronto below them.

     Mack felt happy. She was happy, and her best friend didn’t quite love her the way she did yet, but with how close they became over the last several days this was better than nothing.

     They were cuddling on the couch when Mack received a text from her parents, Lisa and John Wilson; she let out a pained groan. They were missing her again, claiming they haven’t seen her in a while. She honestly hated spending time with them. It was difficult, as they were very Christian, and lived in a bubble filled with old traditions and laws. It took Mack years to break out of that bubble, and every time she visits her parents she feels like she loses a little part of herself she can’t take back.

             Just thinking about them makes her feel _so tired_.

      “What’s the matter, baby?” Cassie asks, playing with her hair. Mack grunts and hands Cassie her phone, trying to think about something else. “Mack, your father and I are starting to miss you. We haven’t talked in a while and we need to catch up on how you’ve been doing. Please text us back, we’d love to go out to dinner.” Mack sighs and glances up at her best friend.

        “I’m scared, Cassie. I don’t wanna go,” she sniffs, “Whenever they invite me to these dinners there’s always an ulterior motive. And you know nine times out of ten I always come back crying.”

         “I understand that your parents can be a little bit… um, overprotective but they love you. You’re their only kid.”

                “Cassie, you of all people should know that I lived in that bubble for half my life. They forced their religious views on me about a God I’m not even sure exists. They forced me into music lessons, dance lessons, going on blind dates with boys, trying to mold me into the perfect little girl that I struggled so much with being.”

         Cassie sighed and smiled fondly, “I remember one day when you came home from your ballerina lesson and you just started trashing your outfit. You started drawing all over it in a rage, ripping holes into it and pulling off the shoelaces on your shoes. Then you cried and I had to hold you until you calmed down because you kept on saying how much you hated it,” she chuckles and wipes a tear away from Mack’s eye, “You’ve come a long way since then and I’m proud of the person you are now. Your parents, even though they raised you, have no hold over what you should do with your life anymore, darling. You realize that, don’t you?”

         Mack smiles and nods, pointing to her cheek and asking silently for a kiss. Cassie chuckles quietly and complies.

       “I’ll make a deal with you. Go to this dinner with your parents, come out that you’re gay, and I’ll tell mine… about Mathew.” She whispered into her ear, and Mack gapes at her in shock. “We’ll have each other on speed dial in case this goes horribly wrong.”

            Mack’s hands start to shake as Cassie holds onto them, “I love you, okay? I promised the day I married you I’ll always protect you. I’m not about to break that promise.”

     Mack sighs, trusting Cassie to reply a decent message to her parents. The rest of the night they just held each other, saying nothing, but having a thousand conversations with their eyes.

* * *

 

        Mack was shaking. She leaned into Cassie on their way to their respective restaurants, and her best friend held her, whispering loving, calming words to her. She gently rubbed Mack’s stomach to soothe her.

      She kept on running her hands through her hair, fixing it, putting it back into a pony tail, before pulling it out again.

        Cassie looked beautiful tonight. She was wearing a suit (Mack loved it when she dressed all professional, it was sexy) with her hair tied up in a bun and her face coated in make-up. Cassie loved fashion, hoping to have her own clothing line someday. Her parents weren’t as gung-ho about this dream as she was, wishing she could become a doctor or a lawyer. Mack was the only one who appreciated her talent. Who told her she was an incredible artist.

         Mack spotted her parents before Cassie did, looking proud and full of themselves as they usually are. A large cross hung around her father’s neck and she grimaced, knowing he would always ask where hers was. She didn’t have the heart to tell him she burned it in a rage her freshman year of college.

        “I think I’m going to throw up,” Mack says helplessly, holding onto her stomach. “Cassie…”

          “Baby, please.” Her best friend assures, gripping her hands. “You’re okay. Everything is okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

        “But you are going somewhere. I’m about to have the worst conversation with my parents and you’re leaving me.”

  “Just for an hour. An hour, baby. And then you’ll call me and I’ll pick you up. Okay?”

                  “Okay.”

      “Now go on.” Cassie urges, and Mack takes a deep breath. “You’ll feel so much better once you’ve told them. We’ll stuff our faces with cake later, alright?” Mack doesn’t say anything. She sniffs again as Cassie pulls a lock of hair behind her ear, and they stare into each other’s soul for a long moment. Cassie puts her hand on Mack’s racing heart, humming gently.

       Mack calms at Cassie’s gentle touch, as she leans their foreheads together.

     She could easily pull her in for a kiss here. Tell her without words how grateful she is for Cassie’s love.

        “Let’s go, darling.” Cassie urges, squeezing her hand. Mack’s hand is still shaking as they step out of the car and her best friend happily greets her parents. “Mr. And Mrs. Wilson, hello!”

     There was a time and a place.

         “Cassie dear, we’ve known you long enough that you can call us by or first names. Or even mom and pop,” Lisa Wilson chimes, giving her daughter’s best friend a kiss on her cheek. John looks on, analyzing his daughter quietly. “How have you been? How’s Mathew?” 

        “Ha,” Cassie drawls, scratching the back of her head nervously, “Might as well stop you right there. We broke up three months ago.”

      “Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I thought he was the one for you. All three of you got along so well.” Mack gagged internally.

           “It just… ah, right place wrong time. I’m not looking for anything serious now. I know my parents are going to take this a lot worse than you are.”

       “If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. If they do end up being upset, be sure to call me so I can talk to Diane, okay?” 

         “Thank you, Lisa.” Cassie smiles, and then turns so she could cup Mack’s cheek in her hand. Suddenly her parents are forgotten. Mack leans into her touch. No words needed to be exchanged. Mack knows Cassie will protect her. Knows Cassie will love her. Cassie boldly kissed her forehead and pulls her in for a hug.

     Mack feels her knees go weak.

And melts.

      John Wilson interrupts the moment rudely with a cough, as his eyebrows furrow together. “…we have reservations at 8:00. We’re already late.”

         “John, leave them be. Enough.” Lisa spoke in a quiet voice, never liking confrontation too much.

   _Call me,_ Cassie urges silently to Mack. She swallows thickly and nods.

              Mack sucks in a deep breath as Cassie leaves, walking back into the Uber. The air beside her suddenly turns cold with her gone, and she shivers.   

     “Let’s warm up inside, dear.” Lisa Wilson chimes, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Mack wanted to scream. Wanted to run back into that car with Cassie, where she was safe and loved. Where she wasn’t judged for simply being who she was. She wanted to hold Cassie and kiss her and tell her how much she loved her and that this was a stupid idea. 

       But she had to be brave. She had to be brave for Cassie.

  

          Mack was silent. She played with her food, listening as her parents kept her updated on their jobs and their life. Mack’s father was a religious man, who was very active in the local church. He was always going from one charity event to the next, helping the poor, condemning the rich. They weren’t wealthy, but they weren’t scraping for cash either. Mack’s father just wasn’t shy about voicing his personal, political views on the matter. He was a man of all talk and hearsay, but when it came to the moment of doing something, he became a coward. They clashed with their opinions constantly, which always left Mack feeling sick to her stomach. Mack constantly grew tired of him claiming “she was going through a rebellious phase” and that “he apologizes profusely on her behalf” when they’re talking with family or the clergy.

         Her mother was a dentist, fixing every yellow tooth in the state of Toronto. When Mack was younger she always got extra candy on her visits even though she put up a fuss.

          She was sick of being molded into a body that wasn’t hers. Sick of being the precious “daddy’s little girl” everyone expected her to be.

               She wasn’t straight. She hated boys. She hated sports. She hated pink. She hated playing with dolls. She hated being told to “act like a lady”. She hated wearing frilly dresses and high heels and wearing make-up.

     When she was younger, some days she would scream at Cassie and wish that she wasn’t a girl, that she wasn’t born in this body. That if she was a boy life would have been easier and she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this crap.

    However now that she’s older, more mature, clear of what she wants, she realizes she doesn’t mind this body. She enjoys being a woman (having periods though, is another rant entirely that nobody wants to get Mack started on). She just greatly dislikes the way society objectives and stereotypes them, and feels trapped.

    So, now she doesn’t wear dresses. Nor anything pink. Nor make-up. She has the mouth of a sailor and Cassie could care less, because she’s her best friend and she’s proud of how far she’s come.

        _You’re such a guy sometimes,_ Cassie told her once, and it was the best compliment anyone could ever give her.

    “Honey, you haven’t even touched your food,” Lisa chimes, smiling at her daughter. Mack snaps out of her daze. “Are you okay?”

       “I, uh—no yeah totally. T-totally, fine. Everything’s dandy over here. Dandy? Who the fuck says dandy anymore, is this the 1960s?” Mack rambles, letting out a nervous, weak laugh.

         “Mackenzie, please don’t curse.” John Wilson grunts.

     Mack lets out an anxious breath as she places her fork down, “Why are you always on my case about cursing? They’re just fucking words! Words that mean nothing!”

        “It’s not proper etiquette, and your father feels that it puts the thousands of dollars we spend on sending you to etiquette classes to waste. So please, speak properly and take your elbows off the table.” 

        “Well now that’s a fortune pissed away.” Mack grumbled, and John lets out an exasperated breath.

        “Dear, relax,” Her mother eased, and turned to Mack again. She was fidgeting now, her other hand grasping at her phone, desperately wanting to call Cassie and go home. “So, Mackenzie. How are your classes going? Do you have any ones that you’re struggling with?”

         “They’re going fine,” She weakly manages, stuffing another spoonful of rice into her mouth. 

      “And what of your relationships? Are you interested in any attractive young men on campus?” Her father asks.

          Mack stops chewing. Tears glisten in the back of her eyes as she swallows weakly, her throat burning. She feels her world slowly start to cave in, as the weight begins to push down on her chest and she closes her eyes.

          Fuck, she knew this was going to be hard. But she didn’t know she was going to feel like she was about to die.

         Here comes a perfect opportunity for her.

  She had to do this.

        _Say it._

       Cassie’s face appears in her mind.

   _Say it for Cassie._

                “Alright, you know what,” Mack suddenly says, throwing her hands up in exasperation. There was a stutter to her voice, “I was going to wait until desert, but I-I’m just going to come out and say it.”

        “What’s the matter, honey? You know you can trust us with anything.”

    “Mackenzie.” Her father says, alarm in his voice, “Are you _pregnant_?”

  The claim was so preposterous that Mack let out a shriek, and she gripped the edges of the table, “What the fucking hell, dad?!”

           “Language, Mackenzie!” Her mother chided.

   “What else was I supposed to think? You’re sweeting bullets and you’ve been quiet this whole time! Plus, it looks like you’ve gained a couple pounds since the last time we saw you! You could be three months along with that bulge for all I know!”

             “John, that was mean.” Her mother chided, and her father let out a desperate whine.

     “I’m not…” Mack let out a deep breath, “I’m not pregnant,” she mumbled, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her weight. Cassie never cared. She adored her bulge, often joking that it was their adorable food baby named Fred. But with her parents, with her father… she always felt inadequate. Like nothing she ever did was good enough.

       “Mom,” she sighs, her gaze flickering between both parents, “Dad.” She bites the inside of her cheek, “I’m gay.”  

           There was silence. Palpable, deadly silence that burned into Mack’s soul. She watched as the look on both her parent’s faces turned from shock, to desperation, to anger, and then finally, to sorrow.

       “Honey, can you pass the pepper?” Her mother asked. The tone in her voice was clipped. Hardened. Dripping with desperation.

          “No,” Her father rumbled. It was quiet, yet affirmative.

   “Dear, I need it for my salad, please don’t be difficult—,”

             “No, no, no, no. I cannot accept this. I will not accept this,” he said, slamming his hands on the table, “You are not a gay. You are confused. You have been exposed too much, to whatever’s going on at college, and you have gotten it into your mind that you are one of them gays too.” He had the audacity to start crying. His words came out frantic, garbled. 

          “I—I am not—,” Mack stutters, her breathing becoming irregular. Her chest hurt, “I am not confused, dad! I’ve known about this my whole life!” She feels faint, “I’m still me! You’re acting like I’ve become this new person! I’m still _Mackenzie_.”

         “Honey, you still have a chance to be saved. Please come to church with us this weekend. It’ll clear your soul from whatever—whatever demon’s inside of it right now. You’re making a huge mistake by saying this to us.”

      “I am not making a mistake,” Mack said quietly, her voice cold.

   “So, I heard a certain favorite artist of yours is going on tour. _Halsey_? _Hayley_? Something with an H. Mackenzie, weren’t you in love with her music for a  while?” Said her mother, trying to normalize the conversation.

      But Mack stared at her father with an intense gaze. “ _I am not making a mistake_. I. AM. NOT. MAKING. A. MISTAKE!”

         “There is still an open door for you, Mackenzie. You can cleanse yourself from this, if you would just listen—,”

        “You know what dad? No. Fucking no. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you trying to mold me into an image of myself that isn’t real. All my life, I felt fucking trapped. I was stuck, in this little bubble where all I went to was school, home, and Cassie’s house. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect girl you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I’m not dainty and a damsel that needs to be saved by some prince. I’M. SORRY. I can’t… I can’t be who you want me to be because I’m a lesbian. I’m a lesbian, dad.”

     John Wilson looked as if someone told him his dog died. Devastated. 

    When that precious word left her tongue as she told Cassie, she felt weightless. She felt butterflies swarm in her stomach as Cassie loved her, held her, told her she was wonderful.

   Now, the word feels like a burning iron, pushing her down, threatening her to nothingness.

            Everything hurt.

            There was silence.

            Then, “If that’s the choice you’ve decided to make—,”

  “BEING GAY IS NOT A CHOICE!” Mack screamed, and she felt every eye boring onto hers in the restaurant.

         “…then you are no longer my daughter.”

  Mack gasped. Lisa Wilson looked as if she was going to throw up.

         She grasped her hands together, feeling the tears sting in her eyes, the weight pulling further and further down on her chest.

         Everything hurt _so much_.

      “Fuck you,” Mack wheezed, unable to say anything else, “ _Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU_!”

      What happened next was sort of a blur. She shot up from her seat, grabbing her phone and shoving her plate further onto the table, making sure she made a mess.

            “Mackenzie, please—,” Her mother tried to say, but her cry fell upon deaf ears.

      She tried to hold back her tears as she kept on breathing in and out, her cheeks becoming red, as she desperately tried to call Cassie.    

       “Mackenzie—,” it was her mother. Again.

         “Get the fuck away from me!” She exclaimed, her words coming out garbled and irregular. “Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t you _dare_ touch me.”

               Lisa paused, lips pursed as if she wanted to say more, but she stepped back. Tears glistened in her eyes. Cassie finally picked up. Thank god.

       “ _Is everything okay, Mackie?_ ” came her soothing voice, and that was all it took. Mackenzie started to cry. Hot, billowing tears streamed down her face and she let out a sob, grasping at her hair. “ _Shit. I’m leaving now. Sorry mom, I need to go. Mack needs me._ ” She heard shuffling from the other line, a concerned, “ _What’s going on_?” then, “ _I just heard the sound no best friend wants to ever hear if their other half just came out to their parents._ ”

          “ _Mack, stay on the line with me. Try to calm down. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Listen to my voice. Is that helping?_ ”

               “They don’t want me anymore, Cassie,” Mack cried, collapsing on the nearest bench. “They hate me and it’s because I’m a lesbian. Like, what the fuck? What the actual, ever loving fuck?”

               “ _Darling, please…_ ” Cassie whimpered, and it seemed like she was on the verge of crying too. “ _Don’t say things like that._ ”

    “I want to die, Cassie.”

                   There was a pause.

          “Mackenzie Leanne Wilson, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Cassie exclaimed, coming out of the car and pulling her into a crashing hug. A soundless scream escaped Mack’s lips, as she barreled into her best friend. And she cried.

        She cried, and cried, and cried until there were no more tears. When she finished crying her body shook and strangled noise escaped her lips, like she didn’t know what else to do with her emotions.

       Cassie was scared. There were only two moments in her life where she saw her beloved Mack get like this; the first was when her grandmother on her father’s side passed away. She loved her granny, as she was the one who was openly accepting of Cassie and married the two girls those seventeen years ago. Cassie had to wonder if even the elderly woman knew she was gay, but knew better not to say anything.

        “Cassie,” Mack garbled, but her voice came out weak. She puffed out her cheeks, breathing heavily. “ _Cassie_ …”

         “Sir, I’m sorry to make you do this. My wife is about to throw up. Can you pull over?” She blurts, mentally cursing herself as to why she referred to Mack as ‘her wife’. They were in a life or death situation and the last thing they needed was one more person against them.  

           Instead, thankfully, the man just smiled and nods politely. They pull over by a fire hydrant several blocks away from their home. “Take your time.” He says, opening the door for them.

       Mack wasted no time to release the contents from her stomach and onto the street. She cries as she does so, weakly grasping onto Cassie, feeling the weight of the world holding her down. Cassie finds tears springing in her eyes as well, as she rubs Mack’s back and takes the hair out of her face.

        The car ride was silent, as Mack was emotionally exhausted and passed out on her lap. Tears silently streamed down Cassie’s cheeks while she caresses Mack’s hair. They finally pulled into their driveway after what felt like hours.

          “This one is on me,” Chimed the kind man, “I can’t ask you to pay after seeing that.”

    “Oh, sir, no. I have enough to leave you a tip—,”

                “Please. And tell her it gets better,” he then said, his face suddenly looking older than before. “Things may seem like shit now, but it does get better. She has you in her life, and you obviously care for her. You both will be alright.”

          “Thank you.” Cassie breathed, and picked up Mack with surprising strength, “Have a good night, sir.”  

          The man smiled, watching them from his car to make sure everything was alright until he drove off. Cassie didn’t remember much from the rest of the night, or how they got up the stairs. All she remembered was Mack’s soft whimpers, her tear-stained face, and the tight grip she held on her body.

      She knew she was never going to forget this night for a long time.


	2. Burritos and Beer and Besties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Cassie help Mack recover from that horrible night. Cassie demands they go shopping and they bump into an unwanted ex from her past.

 

 

 

> **_"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet."-Gandhi_ **
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> **January 26, 2016**

          The three weeks that followed next was hell. Cassie was certain the they wouldn’t be able to make it through. Mack’s depression had reached an all-time low, as she couldn’t get out of bed.

      She couldn’t eat.

She couldn’t speak.

     Cassie checked up on her best friend every morning, giving her gentle, loving kisses, making sure that she wasn’t cutting or self-harming.

     Some afternoons she would just hold her, caressing her hair, whispering to her love that everything was going to be okay.

      But Mack wouldn’t even register that she was there. She just stared on at her wall, a blank, mortified look on her face. 

          Mack’s parents desperately tried to reach out, but Cassie refused to answer their calls. They had no right to speak to them now. Whether it was intentional or not, John and Lisa Wilson  _broke_ her beloved Mack.

       Mack was gone.

   A stranger took her place.

          Cassie felt so lost. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Didn’t know what to say.

    What _can_ she say?

           “Everything is going to be alright?”

      Because right now, everything seems to be going to hell. Words of comfort meant nothing.

                If she had to go one more day in this madness she was certain she was going to break.

         “I come bearing gifts of beer, burritos, and… me,” Chimes a friendly, excited voice in her doorway. He dropped the food and drinks onto their living room table. Cassie wiped her eyes, a weak smile forming on her lips. She loved that idiot so much. They all met in high school, over an afternoon in detention for something ridiculous. He was the first one to be openly gay, and became very protective of the two girls. They rescued him from an abusive household one terrifying night, and Cassie always admired how brave he was. Because not only that Levi was gay, he also identified as asexual; a term Cassie didn’t quite understand. Levi was attracted to men but he didn’t feel sexually aroused, and didn’t need fancy dates or grand gestures to find a sensual attachment to someone.

        The world of the LGBT community amazed Cassie, and she made a vow the day Mack came out to her to dive head first into it, waving her ally flag proudly, and learn everything that she could.

     She finally felt as if this was the home she’d been missing for all this time.

“Thank god you’re here,” Cassie sighs, engulfing him into a hug.

           “How’s your wife?” He asks, squeezing her shoulders in kind. He doesn’t fail to notice the blush that appeared on Cassie’s face. Or that she didn’t correct him this time.

        “I’m so scared for her, Levi,” She murmurs, “She’s gotten worse. Please help me. I-I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried everything.” She clutches desperately onto Levi’s arm, “I don’t want to lose my best friend, Levi.”

         “You’re not going to,” He assures, patting her arm, “I’ll talk to her. I was like this too when I came out, remember?”

           “Yours was a completely different situation,” Cassie says, remembering that painful day.

    “True, but. Regardless of how or when, how you feel afterward is always the same. It’s okay to be sad and feel ruined for a little while. It’s so easy to be an angry person. The hardest part is coming out of that headspace, and being grateful for the little things that you have. For me, what helped keep me sane those scary nights, was reminding myself that I had two wonderful girls who cared for me and loved me no matter what my sexuality was. I owe you my life, Cassie.”

        Tears sprung into Cassie’s eyes, “Please save Mackie’s.”

   “I’ll try.”

           Cassie folded her arms together as she leaned against the wall beside Mack’s door, and Levi casually stepped in.

       “Hey, little homo,” Levi began, and Cassie’s heart skipped a beat as she heard Mack groan.

  “Go away, Levi.”

             “Really? That’s what you’re going to say to your favorite human who brought you a burrito?”

         “I’m not hungry.”

    There was a beat of silence. “Shit. Who are you and what have you done with Mack?”

         “Mack’s not here now. Please leave a message after the beep.” Cassie hated how tired and hollow her best friend’s voice sounded.

         “Okay, well when Mack comes back, can you please tell her she has a best friend and a wife who misses her? Who’s very worried about her? Who’s been losing her shit over the last three weeks because you’ve gone mad? Mack, I can understand being upset for two weeks or at least one, but this is enough.”

             “ _Enough?_ ” Mack growled, and Cassie could feel the rage coming from the room. “Enough! Levi, my father disowned me! He hates me and it’s because I told him I am a lesbian! WHAT KIND OF SICK PERSON WOULD DO THAT TO THEIR KID?!”

            “Oh, so you think that’s bad? Then did you forget about the time where I was living with an abusive, alcoholic mother? Who beat me every day? Who told me I was a piece of shit every hour? Who said I am an abomination and that _I’m going to hell_?” Levi urges, and Mack let out a whimper. “Mack, did you forget the day I came crawling to your house, beaten and bloodied, begging for help? Did you forget the nights I spent crying in your bedroom, wishing for death to take me, that I didn’t want to live in this life anymore?”

        Mack was crying now. Cassie’s heart broke.

   “It’s so easy to be an angry person, Mack. It’s so easy to blame your parents for hating you. It’s so easy to feel upset, and lost, and cut yourself. I played the role of the angry teenager, and let me tell you, it was not fun. I did that for four. Years. Four years, Mack. That’s four years of my life _wasted_. I can never take those four years back because I used them all up by being angry and miserable. I can’t… I don’t want that to happen to you, Mackenzie.” He pleads, and Cassie peeks into the room to see Mack hunched over on Levi’s lap, and the young man was trying not to cry.

           “Tell me what’s on your mind, Mack.”

    “I-I need to hit something,” She whimpered, her hands shaking, “I need to hit something and I don’t want it to be you, Levi.”

             Cassie thought fast. She quickly went into her room and brought out their old hamper, that certainly wasn’t going to survive this drama. They could easily afford another one.

      Mack always felt better after she let her anger out. Whenever she had a bad day, or her parents ruined her to the point of exhaustion, Mack would find the nearest thing and destroy it. Cassie never judged her for doing this. Her method of releasing stress was different—a cup of coffee, a nice book, and cuddled up with some blankets and relaxing music.

 Mack was ruled by her emotions.

           Cassie relied on logic and practicality.

    But in the end, once they’ve both cooled off, they came back together and were stronger than before.

            Mack didn’t even look at her. She sat up from her bed, heaving a deep breath. A second passed. Another. She then let out a scream, a piercing, broken scream that tore through Cassie’s soul.

  Cassie watched as this went down in slow motion for her.

     She slammed both of her fists down onto the top of the hamper, causing it to topple over. Angry tears poured down her face as she kicked at the hamper, slowly creating a gaping hole. Levi and Cassie shared a knowing, concerned look before staring at Mack again. Clothes poured out of the old hamper but that didn’t stop Mack from destroying it.      

          Cassie watched the clock hanging on top of her bed and timed Mack’s break down. Ten minutes. Mack when on to destroy their hamper for ten whole minutes.

           Once she was finished, she looked at Mack’s face and saw how relaxed she was. How her shoulders drooped and how tired her eyes were.

    But that was her beloved Mackenzie—whatever possessed her before was gone, and she came back.

          “Mackie,” Cassie breathed, spreading her arms open. Welcoming. Accepting. Loving. A cry escaped Mack’s lips as she barreled into her, the two of them crashing onto the floor into a pile of dirty clothes.

   But that was the least of their worries.

         “I love you, I love you, I love you, _I love you_ ,” She said in quick recession, peppering Mack’s face with kisses, as her best friend slowly calmed to a manageable level.

     “Ugh. I thought I would miss how frighteningly domestic you two are. Gross.” Levi says in kind, getting up to leave. Cassie reaches out to grab his hand and with surprising strength she pulled him into a hug. “Gah! Cooties! Stop touching me!”

        “Shut up and enjoy the hug, Levi.” Cassie mumbled, gently caressing Mack’s face. “Feeling better, Mackie?”

             The young woman uttered something, snuggling further into Cassie. She let out a content sigh, her breath coming out in soft puffs. “You are loved, Mack. You are wonderful. You’re so brave. Your feelings are valid, pure, and worth fighting for. I’m so proud of you for coming out and for trusting me with your feelings. Never, ever think less of yourself because of this. Promise me that, okay?”

         “Okay,” Mack said shyly, glancing at her with hopeful eyes. “I’m sorry.”

    “Don’t you ever apologize for your feelings,” She replied, giving Mack a gentle kiss on her nose. “Now go take a shower. You stink, baby.”

        “Jeez, tell me how you really feel.” She grumbled, but with the help from Levi and Cassie she got off the floor. 

           “I suppose my work here is done.” Levi eases, “I’ve gotta hot date tonight.”

   “A date? It’s 11pm.” Cassie said, keeping an eye on Mack as she got everything ready for her shower.

           “God Cass, you’re such an old lady,” Levi snickers, “I’m a grown man I can take care of myself.”

        “Alright, _alright_ ,” she utters, rolling her eyes, “You know I can’t help but worry about you. Take care of yourself. And let me know when you’d like to go on a double date, is this the same gentleman you’ve been hanging out with for the last three months?”

          “Would the fair maiden that’ll accompany you just so happen to be Mackenzie?” Levi mocked, and Cassie blushes.  

       “S-shut up.”

   Her best friend laughed, pulling her in for a goodbye hug. “You’ll like this new guy of mine, he’s a tattoo artist.”

          “As long as he treats you right. Does he accept that you’re ace?”

   Levi’s eyes lit up and Cassie smiles, “He’s such a doll about it. It doesn’t even come up in conversation.”

       Cassie nodded in approval. At least he’s happy. 

     “Yo, Mackie!” Levi called as her best friend turned on the shower. “Try not to destroy any more hampers while I’m gone!”

          “I make zero promises!”

        “That’s my girl!” Levi then turned to Cassie and kissed both of her cheeks, “I love you, but I’m going to hate you if I stand up my date for this. So, call me if you or Mack need anything. You know I pick up on the first ring unless I’m destroying someone playing Mario Kart.”

     “Get out of here, loser.” Like the diva he is, Levi bows with a flourish and leaves. Cassie lets out a content sigh as she goes into Mackenzie’s room, and picks up the remains of her hamper to start cleaning. She didn’t stop the happy tears the poured down her face as she thought about how loved she was by her two best friends, and the trials they’ve both faced together.

      Geez, why didn’t anyone tell her learning to be an adult was going to be this hard?

 

* * *

 

              The following morning, Mack was quiet, and moving slower than usual. But Cassie didn’t mind. She knew that there was probably a multitude of things going on in her best friend’s mind, and she didn’t push her. It was Friday, but neither of them had any important classes to worry about, so they took the day off to recuperate. Cassie was in the middle of making a calming cup of chamomile tea for them, when she felt a warm pair of arms wrapping around her.

            This… felt _nice_. Cassie let out a content sigh as a happy image appeared in her mind, one where they both had rings on their fingers, two adorable cats prowling in their kitchen, and a little baby playing on the floor beside them with pots and pans. The thought was so profound and clear Cassie thought it was happening in real time, and felt Mack’s hand for a golden ring. They were bare.

       A strange feeling of pain shot through Cassie’s heart.

   She tried to push it away.

        (She could not.) 

          They’d move on from this, and soon Mack would come over with a new girl she’ll fall madly in love with. And in turn, Cassie would move on from Mathew and find the perfect guy for her. But the thought of them finding separate partners suddenly didn’t sit well with Cassie, as her stomach churned with uneasiness. Regardless of where she goes in life, she knows she wants Mack to be there with her. 

       But as what? Exactly what were her feelings for Mack? She was certain it was an unconditional love, the kind of love that will last an entire lifetime. But even that couldn’t justify the way that she regarded Mackenzie.

       When she really thought about how close they were, logically, she never became more confused with herself.

     She thought back to those three years she spent with Mathew, and felt empty remembering them. Yes, he was the first man to have ever taken her seriously, but Cassie never imagined him as a life partner. Never saw him as husband material. There was always something holding her back, bringing her back here, reminding her of something that she already had. She felt a lump in her throat as she remembered Mack’s broken words, “I felt abandoned.” Cassie never meant to do that to her best friend. Was she so caught up in her ideal world that she truly forgot about Mack? She felt so ashamed, and hated herself for ever making Mack feel so alone.

          She tried to remember the night Mathew proposed to her, but it was all a blur. Cassie could remember his tear-stained face as she said no, and in a panic, ran away from him. It wasn’t her proudest moment. She could never figure out why she reacted so strongly or why her heart hurt so much.

       All she knew that now, she’ll do whatever it took to make up for the years Mack felt so alone.

       “I can hear you thinking,” Her best friend mumbled, tightening her grip on her waist and resting her head on Cassie’s shoulder. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

            “Mack,” She let out a sigh, “If I’m sixty years old and single with a fucking cane will you still love me?” 

       “Probably not,” She replies, making Cassie laugh. She playfully swats her hand. “I could never find a reason not to love you.”

          Cassie sucked in a breath as the rings on their fingers came into her mind once more, and it was a comforting thought.

     _Mack wanted to grow old with her._

She was so lucky.

          “Hey,” Her best friend said softly, and she turned around. “Are you okay?”

        Cassie didn’t realize that her hands were shaking. Or that tears were glistening in her eyes. Mack made a gentle noise, wrapping her arms around Cassie’s neck and laying her head on her breasts.

       Her mind was a confused, jumbled mess now but Mackenzie was the only thing that made sense to her. Holding her like this. Comforting her. _Loving_ her.

      “You scared me for a second, asshole,” She found herself saying, burying her face into Mack’s shoulder. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

            “I’m not going anywhere,” Mack said lightly, “Besides, you’d be nothing without me.”

      “I hate that you’re right.” She grumbled.

  Mack chuckled, snuggling close to her.

    “You know, in life, I always had a plan. I always dreamed of having that traditional marriage where I would get married, have a baby, and my future partner and I would buy a nice house in the suburbs together. I would have a decent nine to five job and come home to watch the kids,” Cassie rambled, holding tightly onto Mack’s hand. “It was always my dream to be a mother. But… now, I… now that I don’t have Mathew…” she sighs, “It’s hard to imagine my future without the man I thought I was in love with.” Cassie stares into Mack’s eyes, searching for an answer. “I guess it just hit me how lost I feel right now.”

        “Baby,” Mack soothes, reaching to cup her face, “It’s okay to feel lost. Sometimes life just throws a wrench at you and you must flounder for a bit to figure yourself out. Maybe Mathew was brought into your life because now you know that you deserve to have someone better. Someone whom you know will treat you with the love and care you deserve, and you’ll have your dream that you’ve always wanted,” Cassie’s lips curl into a loving smile, “Until then, learn to take care of yourself again.”

          Cassie let out a deep sigh, “You’re the only thing that makes sense in my life.” She murmurs, resting their foreheads together.

     Mack hums in content, giving her nose a kiss, as they sway back and forth for a long moment.          

     “Cassie…” she said after a while, peering at her, “I want to get a therapist.”

   “Go for it, baby. There’s no shame in doing so. Do you think you want to be back on meds again?”

         “Yes,” Mack shook her head, “No. Maybe. I just… need someone else to talk to. I mean, you’re great, but… I think I’d be safer to talk to a third party just so I have all my emotions sorted out.”

        “I’m proud of you,” Cassie smiles, “You’ve come such a long way.”

    “You did too.” Mack replied, and with a gentle laugh, Cassie kissed Mack’s hair. A warm feeling thumped and fluttered in her chest.

 

          A week passed on and things safely returned to their normal pattern. Mack would sleep late because she had afternoon and evening classes, but only wake up just to say goodbye to Cassie. Her sleepy, just woken up voice was the cutest thing ever and Cassie wondered why she never noticed it before. In the evenings, they had dinner together, holding hands across the table, chatting about how their day went.

     Cuddles and kisses meant something more now and Cassie just couldn’t place her finger on it. Hugs lasted longer.

      They were now in February, which meant spring, but because it was Canada some days felt like the middle of winter. 

      Cassie needed to destress. She’s gotten behind on her schoolwork because she was taking care of Mack, and she had a bunch of papers she supposedly needed to write.

     She loved shopping. For anything. Clothes, décor items, furniture. Coming home with her arms filled with large bags was her happy medium. She knew Mack would put up a fuss, but it was for her sanity.

       She spotted Mack lazing on the couch, watching a game of softball. “Why do lesbians like this stuff?” She mumbled to herself, and Cassie fought back a laugh.

         “I have no clothes, I have nothing,” Cassie sighs, giving her a pouty face.

   Mack raised an eyebrow, “Looks to me like you’re wearing clothes.”

             Thanks, captain obvious. “I need to go shopping what are you doing today?”

    “Nothing—and no I will not go shopping with you!”

               “Yes; you are, I can’t go by myself!” Cassie jumps so that she is on Mack’s lap, inches away from her face. Had she ever seen anything more beautiful? God, she caused Cassie’s heart to skip a beat. Ever since Mack recovered from last month, Cassie started to realize the little things about her that she normally wouldn’t. What was happening to her? Why was she like this? “Call Levi, he misses you. Plus, I’m sure he wants any excuse to skip class.”

      “I _did_ call Levi and he’s busy.” She batted her eye lashes.

  “So I’m your back up?”

         “You’re always my back up.” She breathes.

     “Well find someone else, because I’m not going.”

             “Yes, you’re going.”

      “No, I’m not.”

             How old were they, seven?

     “I’ll buy you a pretzel.” She teased, and Mack narrowed her eyebrows at her.

                “Fine.”

          “I love you,” Cassie cheers, giving her cheek a kiss. Mack laughed, “Did I say that yet today?”

         “Many times, but it’s always good to hear it again.” She winks, and Cassie hugs her.

  

   They were only shopping for an hour as Mack grew tired, and focused heartily on her snack that Cassie bought her. Cassie showed a blue flowery dress that looked exactly like the others to Mack. “Wow, yellow is so your color. Buy it, let’s go.”

          Cassie glares at her, “I don’t know if I like the pattern…”

     A young woman walked passed them, and she noticed Mack’s eyes linger. Something uneasy resonated within Cassie’s stomach. “Oh, like that one. That’s the kind of style I want, babe.”

        “Yeah. Sure. Her outfit’s really great and the shoes just pulled everything together so nicely.”

          “You’re right, I should have brought Levi. You’re a horrible person to shop with. As my wife, you should say yes to everything I show you.”

            “I _have_ been saying yes!” Mack groans.

     Another thing Cassie noticed that recently changed: she references Mack as her _wife_ in conversation and nobody questions it.

        “Hey, what about this one?” Cassie asks, taking another dress off the hanger.

   “I love them all. Babe, I’m so bored. My legs hurt. I wanna sit down.”

         Cassie gave her what could only be described as a chilling look, “I did not buy you a pretzel so you could complain the whole time.”

       “This is the thousandth store we’ve been in. I don’t even know what you’re looking for anymore. Dresses, pants, shoes. You’ve tried on everything.”

            “Honey, I’ve had a stressful day. You know I feel better after shopping for a while. I’m sorry, I know you feel anxious in malls and in crowded places. I promise when we get home I’ll make you tea and we’ll binge watch Avatar: The Last Airbender.”

            Mack beamed, “You’re the best wife in the whole world.”

     Cassie laughed, poking her nose, “Be grateful with what you have, baby.”

         Mack eyed her for a moment, and Cassie chewed the inside of her lip, “I want a cinnamon bun too.”

   “ _Fine_.” Mack cheered. Cassie looked at her two dresses, “I’ll just try on both.”

              She didn’t even need to turn around to see the tired look on Mack’s face.

       God, she’d do anything for this girl.

              

       Cassie reappears a moment later wearing a pretty blue dress. “Is this too summery?” She notices Mack’s eyebrows perk up in interest, and her stomach flips in reply.

       “I don’t know. It’s cold out, so you’ll have to put it aside for later.” She mumbles, trying to be nonchalant.

       “So? It’s spring. Is it too summery for spring?”

 “I’m so lost right now.”

          “I dunno. I think it’s too summery I’m going to try on the other one.”

   _But babe, you looked so hot in that!_ Mack wanted to say, shaking her head miserably. She leaned back on the heater and took another large bite of her pretzel.

        “Okay! Yeah, no problem. I’ll just stand here, as you leave your WIFE behind _dying of hunger_.”

       As she chews, she notices from the corner of her eye Mathew coming over, with a new girl dancing on his arm. Mack’s stomach churns unfavorably.

        “Mack,” he said in surprise, and the young woman wanted to punch him in the face. “Hi. How are you?”

        “ _Mathew_ ,” the dopey girl said, “My clothes.”

  “So, uh… are you with Cassie?”

           How fucking dare he? How fucking dare, the guy who treated her like trash for the last three years, ask her where Cassie was. He didn’t need to know. “That’s not your fucking business, asshole.” She bites out, glaring at him, “Why the hell are you even asking me, when we weren’t even friends?” 

       Mathew blinked. “Wow. Right. Okay.” He looked away, “A simple no would have been fine.”

       “Go fuck yourself.” Mack sneered. 

   “Darling? Is everything okay?” Cassie asks, walking out of the dressing room, a concerned look on her face. Mack sucks in a shaky breath and reaches desperately for her hand, the only thing that was keeping her from chucking the nearest chair at Mathew. Cassie turns around, a frown on her face.

     “Hello, Mathew,” She says lowly, her tone laced with ice. She gently caressed Mack’s hand—whether it was to soothe her or them both, Mack wasn’t sure. Possibly the latter.

           “What about this one? Do I look fuckable in this?” asks his girlfriend, looking skimpy in a white dress that showed lots of skin. “Like, who would fuck me in this?”

        She then turns and gapes at Cassie, “No one, would fuck you in that dress.” Her best friend turned in a daze back into the dressing room, “That was like, really weird.”  

      Mack felt a surge of anger course through her, “Alright listen here, you dumb piece of shit. You don’t know the hell that Cassie and I went through this last month. So, you have no right to say that about my best friend.And for the record,Cassie is 100% more fuckable wearing a trash bag than you could ever be!” She then rounds onto Mathew, “For someone who claims to care about her you sure have a funny way of showing it. So, I’m going to go and check on my very hot, insanely fuckable friend and you best not be here when we come back… yeah I know what I said!” She wearily blurts, glaring at him.

          “…wow.” Mathew said, unsure of whether to praise her or be offended. His girlfriend just gave her a strange look and walked back into the dressing room.

      Mack wasn’t done, “Your little _cousin_ seems like a wonderful person.”

“She’s not my. Ah. She’s not my cousin.”

              “Babe, can you please come in here for a sec?”

      Mack smiled evilly at Mathew. “Happy wife, happy life.” She sneers, and slowly flips him the birdie as she walks backwards.

      She grasps Cassie’s shoulders as she notices her breathing start to become irregular, and presses their foreheads together. It’s rare that Cassie ever has panic attacks, but when she does, it’s usually if she’s stressed or placed in an environment that doesn’t go in their favor. She whispers loving words to her, rubbing her shoulders, counting to ten as Cassie breaks down for at least a moment.  

            When she was done, Mack wiped away the tears that streamed down her face, and held her tight.

          “Why did you tell me to try on this dress? I look like an idiot,” Cassie whimpers once she’d calmed down.

   “I told you to get Levi, I don’t know anything about this shit,” Mack sighs, “And babe. Cassie. Love of my life. You look beautiful in anything you wear, come on. We’ve talked about this.”

             She notices a blush creep on Cassie’s face and internally cheers, “You’re just saying that.”

           “I would never lie to you.”

      Cassie lets out a sigh, leaning their foreheads together, “Thank you for standing up for me. You didn’t have to do that.”

      “She was being really mean to you. It’s kind of second nature that I have to rescue you—drama just kind of follows you like a magnet.”

        “How could I forget all those times you rescued me when we were kids because the local bullies picked on me?”

       “Remember that one time I came home covered in mud with a black eye and you were crying and my mom nearly had a panic attack?” Mack asked, admiring how pretty Cassie’s face was even in this low light. She was good at this. Distracting Cassie from her stressors.

        “My hero,” Cassie beamed, taking a lock of hair from Mack’s face and pushing it behind her ear. She found herself moving towards Cassie’s face, her lips. They looked so soft. So kissable right then. Mack found her heart beating a mile a minute, and she wondered if Cassie’s was, too.

       She tried to gauge an expression on her face, but it was blank. 

   “…Mathew! This extra small is too small on me! Please find something in a different style!” The rebound girl exclaimed, breaking the little moment between them.

          “She seems dumb as fuck and is such a high maintenance bitch,” Mack grumbled, falling backwards a bit. Cassie looked like she was trying to collect herself as well, “Oh wait, he dated you, so you shouldn’t worry.”

              Cassie laughed, “Um, excuse me, who was the girl that married me seventeen years ago? Also, guess who just got their cinnamon bun taken away.”

   Why does Cassie always bring up the _wife card_ whenever it’s a situation she knows she’ll win with? Ugh. So not fair.  

           “You wouldn’t.”

      Cassie sighs, and proceeds to take off her dress, “Fuck it. I’m tired of this. Babe, we’re going home,”

     “O-okay, so you’re just going to change—,” Mack said weakly, shamelessly admiring the display before her. She felt heat pool in her stomach as an image flashed in her mind, of Mack fiddling to take her bra off and Cassie placing kisses all over her skin.

        She had to close her eyes.

  “Are they still out there?”

           Mack, composing herself, “Yeah.”

    “I don’t care. We’re going. I’m tired of him having this hold over me.” She urged, fixing her outfit.

         “Yeah! Way to go, babe!” Mack cheers, and boldly squeezed her ass.

     The blush that appeared on Cassie’s face made everything ten times better. As they walked out of the dressing room, Cassie oblivious that Mathew was even there, Mack felt a surge of pride course through her while she kept her hold on Cassie’s waist, inching her hand as low as it can appropriately go.

      She then turned around to Mathew when he wasn’t looking, and promptly flipped him the birdie. Again. The look on his face was priceless.

 

* * *

 

            The last thing Cassie needed was to receive an urgent email from her academic advisor, Dr. Reese. She was in the middle of grabbing a breakfast burrito with Mack before class, when her phone started to buzz uncontrollably. Soothing her, Mack assured that she’ll head over to her therapist and they’ll regroup in the evening.

       Was it wrong of Cassie to want nothing more than to cuddle with her best friend and forget about the world for once? She felt like her life was on a speeding train going nowhere, begging to crash.

       “You wanted to see me, Dr. Reese?” Cassie asked, tugging nervously at her collar.

    The elderly man frowned at her, holding up a paper with a bright red D. Oh, shit.

         “I heard you broke up with your boyfriend. I know that’s… probably why your grades have been slipping.”

      Cassie swallowed thickly, feeling like a hot iron was lodged in her throat. Oh, little does he know. _My best friend recently came out to me. Her parents abandoned her. I’ve been her emotional support system since._ Mathew was the last thing on her mind. Hell, she could care less about college.

        “That is so unbelievably creepy that you know that,” Cassie replied warily, “Besides, I just… have a lot going on, right now.”

        Dr. Reese, “I know you’re smarter than that so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

       “Okay, thanks.” Cassie’s heart ached.

       “Just a reminder though, you won’t be graduating in the spring if you fail one more assignment because then you’re going to fail this class.”

       “Are you shitting me, Dr. Reese? So, when you told me not to worry you said I _should_ worry?!” Cassie exclaimed. She was about to throw up.

       The advisor anxiously gave her another option, “Maybe, uh. Mathew can tutor you.” 

      “We. Broke. Up.”

      “Oh—that’s right. That’s right, that’s where this conversation began.”

Cassie got up and ready to leave, “Okay. Thank you for this talk.”

         “Look, my door is always open. During my designated office hours. That’s seven to eight am, every first Saturday of the month.”

        “…Cool.” Cassie muttered, and waved goodbye. She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it with an anxious huff.

          When did she let her life get this bad? She wondered if there was an exact date when it all started going downhill.

* * *

 

         Mack felt… weird. Not any weirder than she normally did, but her brain was fuzzy. And she felt tired. She just relayed all her emotions and feelings that she kept in over the last week to a total stranger. But he seemed nice enough, as all therapists were. He was patient and allowed her to cut up the magazines he had laid out with a scissor.

       Levi had told her once that this was usually how he felt after going to see his therapist—but it was much better than keeping everything in.

         Speaking of, Levi was picking her up today and driving her back home. Her favorite person. It’s been a week but she always missed him.

        “Hey, little homo. How was your first therapy session?” He says, climbing out of his Jeep to give her a hug.

          “I’m… not sure,” she sighs, “It’s just weird now that another person knows about the inner demons inside Mackenzie Leanne Wilson.”

         “With time, you’ll get better at talking to him. Me and my therapist are like buddies now. I take her out to drinks and she vents to me about her kids every weekend.”

            “Isn’t that… against the law?” Mack asked slowly, backing away from him.

    “Honey, I can assure you, there’s nothing going on between us. Never in a million years will I be known as a home-wrecker.”

            “You’re a piece of garbage.”

     “Love you too, bitch.” Levi snickers, giving her hair a kiss. Mack sighs in content and climbs into the passenger seat.     

         They drove in silence for a while. “So, how’s the wife?”

    “Cassie’s fine, I guess,” Mack says with a blush, “I don’t know. I was busy today. I didn’t speak to her.”

      Levi let out a pained gasp, “Mackenzie doesn’t speak to Cassie for a whole day? Oh, the humanity!”

            “I’m not her keeper!”

      “Honey, you two are so domestic it’s gross. Everywhere you go, Cassie follows. I’m surprised it’s taken you two this long to just fuck everything and elope.”

         “Levi!” Mack exclaimed, sputtering. She lets out a sigh, “She doesn’t love me that way. Not like the way I love her.” She frowns, leaning her head on the car window.

             A moment passed.

 “Do you think I should just… give up on her at this point?” she frowns, “I’m… I’m _tired_ , Levi.”  

        Levi’s grip on the wheel tightens. He then makes a sharp turn, causing Mack to shriek, and promptly pulls over.

       “Levi! You crazy animal! What the fuck was that for?!”

  “Ugh! Sometimes you and Cassie are just so thick-headed it drives me crazy! You love Cassie! Cassie loves you! Just fuck each other already!”

                Mack’s eyes glistened with tears, “Levi, it’s not that simple! She isn’t gay! It’ll never work out!”

        Levi gives her a sour look. “Mack. Maaaaack. Babe, you know there’s this little term called bisexuality, right? Or, you know, pansexual. There’s other labels. You can be attracted to both men and women, and people who identify beyond the binary,” Levi then grasps her shoulders, “I have proof, that for all these years I’ve known Cassie, she’s _bisexual_.”

          Hope flickered in Mack’s chest, “B-but, Levi… we can’t know for sure unless she tells us. She doesn’t even know it herself. And even if she was, she wouldn’t be in love with me.”

           “That bitch worships the ground you walk on, honey. Every time you turn around she has this stupid, love struck look on her face and it makes me want to gag. She has a smile on her face that’s reserved just for you. She’s the only human in the world that can call you ‘Mackie’. Anyone else gets punched in the face.”

     Mack laughed weakly, but the tears wouldn’t stop falling down her face, “I’ve been waiting for her for seventeen years, Levi. That’s half my life. I was five and yet it was love at first sight.”

          “If you would just open your eyes you wouldn’t have to wait another, babe. Trust me on this one, okay?” Levi smiles lovingly, “We all figure out who we are at different times in our lives. My hair stylist is forty and she just got married to her first. Girlfriend. All her life she’s dated men! There’s hope for Cassie. There’s no harm or shame in being a little slower than everyone else. You of all people should know that. Please, please don’t give up on her Mack.”

               Mack couldn’t say anything in return. She was so overwhelmed she started to cry, and Levi chuckled, holding onto her. 

        There was hope.

        It was then that she received a phone call from Cassie, who was crying over a poor test grade and a bad day at college. Levi demanded they go out for drinks and get drunk. Mack told him that was the best suggestion he ever made in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mack kicking the hamper after Levi talked with her is similar to how I behaved after I came out. I was angry, frustrated, and confused. I needed to let all those unwanted feelings out because I didn't want to physically hurt the people I cared about. It made me feel better when my therapist told me, after retelling the story, "hampers are replaceable. hearts aren't. make sure you take care of yours."


	3. When Mack Met Elliot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassie realizes something very important and has her first Gay Panic. Mack makes an unlikely bond with Elliot, whom at first shows interest in her. Levi is Tired and wants Mackassie to become canon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: drinking, fighting.

 

 

> _**"The course of true love never did run smooth."-Shakespeare** _

* * *

 

**February 11 th, 2016**

         Mack woke up from a very vivid dream. These have been happening to her often, and they always involved Cassie.

     Cassie kissing her.

  Smiling at her.

      Laughing with her.

  Making love to her.

            Each dream would become more sensual than the last, as Mack would lose grip on reality, and when she woke up she’d find herself in a cold sweat.

     It was probably because ever since Levi confessed to her that he believes Cassie may be bisexual, she started noticing Cassie paying extra attention towards her. It’s weird, and something unfathomable to explain, and Mack felt her heart bursting with joy every time Cassie’s lips trailed closer towards hers, but kept them a safe distance away. Like she was pulling herself back. Testing herself.

       Something changed. She was certain Cassie felt it as well, like an unspoken pull each of them held onto. 

    Or had they always been like this? Two souls, dancing around each other, afraid to cross over the line.

   Why were they both so afraid of falling?

         Mack let out a sigh as she heard Cassie cooking in the kitchen, already up to face the new day. She was such a morning bird. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, just bothering to change her bra and underwear. Her outfit would be fine for the day.

          She walked into the kitchen and leaned against the wall, shamelessly admiring her best friend from behind. Cassie wore a romper today, with beautiful flowers and red swirls printed on it. She wore a shawl to cover her shoulders.

     She wondered briefly if Cassie had visions of them being married as well. Of them having a kitten walking around. Or a little baby to look after. They were so close that even strangers often joked of them being wives, and they happily agreed.

        Mack, try as she might, could never see herself with another woman. It didn’t matter how pretty or well they treated her. Her heart was made for Cassie’s, and she’d wait for her, however long it took. A world where she fell out of love with Cassie sounded terrifying. 

          “Darling, do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” She asked, somehow knowing that Mack was there.

           “I love you.” Mack blurts, face turning red. A moment passed. “I mean, uh. Yes.”

    Cassie stops cooking, turning around to smile kindly at her. She then struts over, taking long strides so that way she can quickly swoop Mack into a hug and pepper her face with kisses. “I love you, too.”

          Mack couldn’t help it. A burst of giggles suddenly came out of her, as she buried her face in Cassie’s chest, her hands finding their way on her neck.

      Cassie smiled evilly and started to tickle her, starting from Mack’s neck and down to her stomach. As Mack laughed, she noticed Cassie’s face inch closer to her lips, resting their foreheads together. She felt Cassie’s hand slip under her shirt for a hot second, and she bit down the urge to gasp. Instead, she swallowed thickly, certain that Cassie heard her heart race a mile a minute.  

         Her hopes came crashing down when the tea started to make its’ shrilling sound, and Cassie’s hands left her. Mack blinked back the disappointed tears as her best friend whirled around to focus her attention on the tea, mumbling quietly to herself.      

           _Was she really going to kiss me?_ Mack thought, gently touching her lips. _Ugh. My heart hurts._

Letting out a deep sigh, Mack quickly and awkwardly picked up her lunchbox before hurrying out the door.

 

      Mackenzie couldn’t focus in her classes today as she was too busy lamenting over her failed attempt of kissing Cassie earlier that morning. She took a Psychology exam and she was certain she failed at.       

       She was miserably eating her sandwich on a bench when a pretty, blonde haired girl walked up to her. She looked nervous, fiddling with her hands and a shy smile on her face.

         “Um, hey.” She spoke, and on any other occasion, Mack would be thrilled that a cute girl was talking to her.

       “Hi.” Mack replied, showing less enthusiasm.

   “Okay, so. You need to help me out. My teammates over there—uh, don’t look. They bet me twenty bucks that I can’t get your number.” She lets out a deep breath and continues to ramble, “And not only do I need the twenty bucks, I just always blow it with girls and they’re always trying to get me with a girlfriend and they think I need more experience—and now I’m completely oversharing and you look totally disinterested. Wow, this was a flop.”

              “I’m sorry,” Mack sighs, giving her a weak smile, “I’m off the market. I’m kind of… married?”

          “Why do you say that like it’s a question?” The young woman asks.

    “It’s complicated. Y’see, I’m in love with my best friend.”

            “Ouch. Is she straight?”

      “I don’t… know?” 

    “How can you not know—,”

              The words tumbled out of Mack before she could stop herself, “We’ve been best friends since we were five because I was so smitten by Cassie I went to my parents and requested them to marry us so that one day, when we were old enough, to get married for real. Now, all my life I always knew I was attracted to girls, right? And by girls, _I mean one girl_ , my best friend Cassie. I recently came out to her last month and it was such a relief because when I came out to my parents my father disowned me and it was bad. Really bad. So Cassie took care of me for the three weeks I was basically a walking vegetable and now that the fog’s cleared I noticed she’s been extra loving towards me. Like, our hugs last longer and she’s finding more excuses to kiss me on my cheeks and she’s always holding my hand when we’re together. And plus I had a conversation with my other best friend who’s gay and asexual and he thinks that Cassie might be bisexual?” Mack lets out a breath, “So I’m really sorry, everything’s just a mess and I think Cassie’s questioning herself so I’m off the market. Hopefully permanently.”

        “Oh my god, I totally just flirted with a married woman. I want to crawl back into my mother’s vagina,” The blonde murmured, “I really didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

          “I’m sorry you were put in this situation in the first place.”

    “My friends are jerks.” She sighs. “You seem really sad. Did anything happen between you two today?”

        “I think she wanted to kiss me,” Mack frowns, sighing, “But she makes tea every morning so it wasn’t exactly timed right.”

     “Ugh, the second you start to make a move, the universe is an asshole,” At this, Mack laughs, making the young woman smile. “So, hey. Let’s start this over. I’m Elliot.”

     “Mack,” She beams, extending her hand and feeling comfort in Elliot’s hold. She seemed nice enough, as people went. Mack had a feeling they were going to become great friends. “And I am going to give you my number, but only because I want you to win that bet. Just, please don’t tell them I’m married at 22.”

          “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” Elliot replies, and goes to turn around. “And, hey. Cassie’s a lucky gal to have you in her life. I know you only told me a little bit about yourself, but to me it seems like you’ve both been through hell. I wouldn’t worry. Just keep your head up.”

          “Thank you.” Mack breaths, feeling tears glisten in her eyes. “Um. Can I hug you?”

    “Of course,” Elliot laughs, and gently pats Mack on the back. Her heart immediately felt lighter than it did this morning. And she sighed.

 

* * *

 

        “Fuck off, asshole!” Cassie was in a mood. A weird, sexually frustrated mood. It didn’t help that she was on her period, or that an idiot truck driver was beeping behind her because she missed a light. Her mind was elsewhere.

          What was happening to her? One moment, she felt happy, light as a feather and so loved by her best friend. The next, she felt sick to her stomach, feeling emotionally and physically drained from her mind working overtime. She wasn’t getting the flu. She never got sick—it was Mack who always used to get sent to the nurse’s office for being ill.

     She had a headache. Her heart hurts. All she wanted to do was be with Mack; hold her, ask her how her day was, tell her she loves her. But again, her mind became confused as to exactly what that meant.

         She didn’t notice that she had parked her car and was walking up the stairs to her internship already. There was a deep fog clouding over in her mind.

      She had tried to kiss Mack this morning. She was certain her best friend had heard her heart race a mile a minute. The urge to kiss her best friend gets so powerful some days she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She wonders how soft Mack’s lips are, and sighs deeply.

         This was weird. She shouldn’t be doing this. She shouldn’t be having sexual fantasies about her best friend. She should be attracted to men, interested in going on dates with them, finding a good husband.

          Was it weird that now, after three years of being mistreated by Mathew, she doesn’t _want_ a husband?

         She wanted…

   She _wanted_ …

          Cassie dipped her head in her hands.

She wanted a wife. And she wanted her to be Mack.

         Because holy fuck, she was in lo—

     “Bitch!” Exclaimed a mean voice, and Cassie looked up to see an angry looking Amy, with a coffee stain on her shirt. Her expression turned to horror as she realized she’d just bumped into her co-worker; someone who she’s been hopelessly trying to avoid all week. “What the hell, this was an expensive outfit!” 

         “Not my problem that you were _in my way_ ,” Cassie growled, still reeling from the revelation she just had. “My sincerest apologies, your majesty.” She says, and steps aside for her to walk past. Amy lets out a scoff and shoves her aside, causing Cassie to stumble. 

         Cassie swallowed, going over to her workspace and ignoring the weird stairs from everyone else in the room. She was certain she was about to burst into tears at any moment.

       Taking a deep breath, she anxiously typed  _HELP I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND I MIGHT BE GAY--OR BISEXUAL??? IM CONFUSED AND NEED A DRINK._  after dumping all her belongings on her desk in a hurry. While some forums were unhelpful and the replies slightly outdated, she found a definition on Miriam Websters. 

  _A person who is sexually attracted to both men and women. The ‘B’ in LGBT._

Cassie’s hands started to shake. Had Mack known this whole time? Had she known that Cassie had been questioning her sexuality, but she waited, just like Cassie did, until she felt brave enough to come out?

      Everything made sense. The dreams. The visions. The inexplainable pull she had towards Mack.

      _I’m in love with my best friend._

Perhaps, for all these years, she’s always been in love. It just took her a while to figure it out.

     But she finally did.

  _I’M IN LOVE WITH MACK._

And now here they are.

    Had Mack been waiting this whole time for her?

   Overcome with emotion, Cassie excused herself to the bathroom and let out a cry.

         _I’m bisexual._

“I’m gay,” Cassie quietly murmured to herself, and closed her eyes. 

 

              Emotionally drained, Cassie knew she just couldn’t quit her internship because of her personal self-discovery. She had to keep going. She’ll be seeing her beloved Mack soon, and that was enough to put a smile on her face. So, putting on a new layer of make-up, and changing her tampon, Cassie gave herself a pep talk in the mirror before going out and facing her job again.

      She was working tirelessly for the last two hours when Amy came strutting over with a new leopard print jacket, a smug look on her face.

      “Heya, hi. How’s it going?”

   Keeping a neutral face, Cassie replied with, “Hey. Everything’s great.”

          _I just realized the love of my life has been right in front of me this whole time, holy fuck._

    “Yeah, I noticed the email you just sent to one of our clients and I noticed you did not sign it as ‘kindest regards’.” She replied in a snooty voice.

          “So…?” _Say one more word and I will cut you._

“Yeah, so obviously I don’t care, but it’s just that on the first day you started working here and I told you we always sign our emails with ‘kindest regards’.”

       “Yeah, I kind of thought that was just a suggestion.”

    “It is, but it’s just one of those suggestions that you always want to do, I’m sure it’s fine. It’s just… our boss is really upset with you.”

           “Are. You. Fucking. With. Me?”

    “What? I don’t even…”

 

      Cassie stormed into her boss’s office with an angry look on her face, “Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on?”

           “Ms. Martin. Please, take a seat,” Her boss replied, fixing his bow-tie and drumming his hands on the table, “Your work ethic as of late has been… poor. I’ve noticed that within the last month you’ve been coming in late, and being rude to your fellow co-workers. Regardless of what’s going on at home—I uh, understand that you live with your best friend who’s going through a difficult time in her life, I would advise you not to bring your troubles to the office. It’s impractical and hinders your performance to do a good job. Here we take pride in excellence and perfection. Recently, Ms. Martin, you’ve shown us that you are incapable of putting your best foot forward.”

       Cassie fights back the urge to cry, “I’m about to get fired, aren’t I, sir?”

     “My apologies. You’re one of our best interns, but I already have thirty on a waiting list who would do so much better at your job and at a faster pace. Please, don’t take this personally.”

       “I… understand, sir.”

  She sighs, doing her best to keep her head up and walk off.

          “It’s been a pleasure working you, Ms. Martin. I’ll put in a good word for you should you look at finding another job soon.”

         “Thank you.” Cassie murmured, and shut the door behind her.

  “Wow, that’s so shitty,” Amy said leaning against the water fountain.

        Cassie closes her eyes. “What do you want, Amy?”

    “You just got fired. And it was all because of ‘kindest regards’,” She sneered, “You should probably start packing up your things.” Amy then thought for a moment, and showed her a picture on her phone, “By the way, you and Mack make a very cute couple. How long have you been together for?”

          Cassie was seconds away from hitting her, and wished she had Mack’s strength to do so, “Go. Fuck. Yourself.” She said quietly, dangerously. “And we have never been friends, so it’s not your concern to ask how my _wife_ and I are doing. Leave. Us. Alone.” 

        Tears were already falling down Cassie’s face as she scrambled to get her things, leaving her internship and Amy behind.

   _Who gets fired from an internship?_ She thought miserably, as she drowned out the mean laughter from her fellow co-workers, and the world around her.

* * *

 

      When Mack finally got home after a long day of classes, her mood soured as she heard glass breaking from inside their apartment, and the sounds of her best friend crying. Anxiously, she fumbled for her keys to open the door and slammed it open, heart beating rapidly in her chest.

       The sight before her was one she wasn’t expecting to see. There was Cassie, on the floor of their kitchen, with broken sheets of paper thrown about her and two empty bottles of wine, with a third in her hands. Her cheeks were flushed red and she was mumbling quietly to herself, angry tears streaming down her face.

          “What the fuck, Cassie!” Mack sputters, rushing over to her friend. “What the hell happened to you!”

        “Mackenzie, babe,” She slurs, giving her a loopy smile, “You’re just in time for the party!”

   “Cassie, this is scaring me. You don’t normally drink this much,” Mack whimpers, quickly taking the bottle of wine out of her hand and placing it on the counter. “You haven’t drunk this much since you broke up with Mathew…” She then reaches for some Kleenex and starts wiping Cassie’s face free of her tears and ruined make-up, sitting comfortably on her lap.

          “I’m a failure, Mackenzie,” Cassie grumbles out, her voice weak and unstable. “I can’t pass my English class and I just… and I just fucking got fired from my internship, damnit.”

            “Oh, darling.” Mack says, swallowing thickly. She rests her head on Cassie’s shoulder, rubbing soothing caresses on her stomach.

      “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore,” she utters, tears falling down her face again. She then picks up the laminated paper beside her with a grunt, “It’s so fucking stupid, my whole life on a stupid laminated paper and I don’t know what to do with it. I tried to be this person here but I’m not. I’ve accomplished fucking nothing. Everyone expects me to be this amazingly put together person, like they all expect me to do something great and I don’t have any more to give them. Why do I screw everything up?!”    

    Mack watched in horror as she tried to rip it a part in a rage, but she thankfully stopped her in time. 

   “No, Cassie… no…” Mack tried to say, but her best friend continued to spiral. She didn’t like how badly her hands were shaking.

        “I’ll never be good enough. My parents think it’s my fault for breaking up with Mathew. They think it’s my fault he left me, like he had every fucking reason to dump me like I’m a piece of trash. That I wasn’t strong enough to fight for him. Everyone’s telling me I’m supposed to be brave, to… to fucking empower others. How can I do that when I can’t even FIGURE MYSELF OUT?!”

            Mack was crying now, as she tried her best to comfort Cassie, gently caressing her hair and placing gentle kisses on her cheeks, catching each tear that slid down. “You’re not broken, Cassie. You’re not a failure. You’re so brave, my love. Please. Please stop thinking this of yourself.” She then let out a breath, “Why haven’t you told me any of this?”

         Cassie didn’t say anything for a long time. Mack just held her as she cried, knowing that now she had to pay her dues after the month Cassie took care of her.

      Cassie’s voice was quiet as she finally spoke, “I thought I was all about trees but now I think that maybe the flowers are something I’ve always wanted but overlooked,” she murmurs softly, “You’re such a pretty flower, Mackenzie. A-and I’ve always wanted…”

          Mack sucks in a breath, as she curiously gazes at her best friend. Her heart ached.  

       “Mackie,” she began, smiling at her with a loving gaze, “…Can we get married again?”

   Tears glisten in Mack’s eyes. “Oh, Cassie.”

           “I love you so much, Mackenzie Leanne Wilson,” she breaths, gently cupping her cheeks, “It’s always been you. You and no one else.”

         “Cassie… I can’t. N-not like this. I can’t make a decision with you when you’re like this.”

   She watched painfully as Cassie’s face turned from hope to sorrow. “I’m so in love with you, Mack. Shouldn’t that be more than enough?”

        “Cassie, this is hurting me as much as it’s hurting you and I really want to say hell yes, let’s fucking elope right now in Toronto, but… it wouldn’t be fair for me or for you. Please forgive me, baby.”

     Mack hides her face in the crook of Cassie’s neck. 

          “You really want to marry me?”

     “Please promise me you’ll do this again when you’re sober,” Mack sobs, “Because I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you for seventeen goddamn years and it isn’t fucking fair that you only have the balls to say them with liquid courage.” 

        “I’m… not going to remember any of this in the morning, am I?” Cassie sighs, tightening her hold on Mack.

       Mack shakes her head.

  “Damn it.”

         As those words left Cassie’s lips, uncontrollable sobs left Mack, as Cassie cradled her, and it was her turn to comfort her best friend. Girlfriend. Fiancée. Wife? She didn’t fucking know.

     All they knew was that for all this time, Mack’s heart belonged to Cassie’s. Hers and no one else’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember having my first gay panic out on an ice cream date with my mom. everything just sorta... clicked, right then. I wasn't brave enough to fully identify as lesbian at the time, or gay, so I came out to her as bisexual (and even then I didn't exactly know what the term meant). all I knew was that I wasn't attracted to men. it would be a whole year later that I would feel more comfortable identifying as lesbian and praise Sappho that girls exist. 
> 
> let's leave the whole "how could you possibly be gay you've never kissed a girl" thing in 2016 where it belongs, yeah?


	4. Truth or Lap Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Elliot are the Dream Team everybody is envious of. Mathew is a douchecanoe. Mack and Cassie push their relationship to its limits.

 

 

 

> **_“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”-Marilyn Monroe_**  
> 
>  

* * *

**_Part II_ **

**_On Love: Eros_ **

**_Chapter Four: Truth or Lap Dance_ **

* * *

 

Cassie woke up the next morning feeling like she got hit by a truck. Her mind was clouded in fog and hazy, and fuck, her heart hurt so much. Why did she feel like a weight was resting on her soul?

          The young woman sighs, wearily checking the time and groaned when it was almost noon. She missed all her morning classes today. She then sleepily walked into the bathroom and gasped at her tear-stained face, her red eyes, and the make-up stains on her cheeks.

      Last night must have been rough.

 Cassie tried her best to do some damage control on her face, using whatever face cloths she could find despite the pounding headache. 

     As she trudged into the kitchen, she went for cereal only to find out that it was empty and Mack had an unhealthy amount in her bowl on the kitchen table. She was about to settle for left over Chinese when she heard Mackenzie’s quiet sobs and spotted her staring out the window.

        “Mackie,” Cassie began weakly, walking over and wrapping her arms around her. She gently caressed her stomach, placing a gentle kiss on Mack’s cheek.  “Are you okay?”

            “You scared me last night, Cassie.” Her best friend mumbled, lulling her head. “You were so sad… I-I thought you were going to…”

      “I’m so sorry,” Cassie wearily said, letting out a sigh, “I don’t… remember much but I’m sorry you had to see me like that again.”

            “You told me… you told me you couldn’t be this person that everyone wanted you to be. Th-that you were struggling so much, and that you… you felt like you were failing to live up to expectations,” Mack said heavily, a tear falling down her cheek. “Cassie, how many times do I have to tell you, that you’re perfect just the way you are? You don’t have to change just because society demands you to. You’re struggling, Cass, and you’re allowed to. That’s the whole point of growing up and learning to live on your own. No one… no one knows exactly what they want to do for the next five, ten years. If… if we all tried to live life according to plan, then everything would be super boring,” Mack smiled and cupped her best friend’s cheek, “Fuck, look at me. I’ve known I am a lesbian since I was sixteen and was too scared to come out because I didn’t want to lose anyone I cared about. I… _I didn’t want to lose you_. And I didn’t have the balls to say anything until three months ago. My life went downhill and you were the only thing that kept me sane during those weeks. I don’t regret anything that happened to us because I’m now such a stronger person because of this. And so are you.” Mack then pressed their foreheads together, “I owe so much to you.”

   They were quiet for a moment. Cassie listened to the beating of Mack’s heart, gently caressing her cheeks.

      Cassie sighs deeply, “Are we okay?”

   “Yeah.” Mack hesitated.

        “Because I don’t feel like we’re okay.”

    “We’re okay,” Mack murmured, and Cassie saw sorrow in her eyes. Sorrow, pain. Hope flashed in her eyes for a brief second, but it was gone.

       Cassie sighs again, resting her head on Mack’s shoulder, and they were silent again.

They were not okay.

    

      Mack leaned her head on Levi’s shoulder as they sat on the steps of George Brown University, waiting for Cassie to get out of class. Mack was emotionally drained, as she just finished venting to Levi about what happened and he comforted her, since they haven’t seen each other in two weeks since Cassie’s mental breakdown. Valentine's day was awkward, as Cassie had to spend the night working on one of her fashion project and urged Mack to go out and party without her. They fought about how dumb that idea was, and Mack left frustrated and crying.

     To lighten the mood, he then suggested they play an observation game where they guess their fellow peers’ sexuality.

       “Straight… straight… unfortunately straight…” Levi sighs, looking at the younger crowd of women that just walked past.

        Mack raised her eyebrow in interest, “Uh, gay. Gay… gay… straight?”

  Levi glares at her, “No. Babe, those were ALL straight girls.”

          “How can you tell just by looking at them?!”

   “Years of practice, darling. I have my gaydar perfected,” He then leans in and whispers, “So can I say, ‘I told you so’ now that you confirmed Cassie is bisexual?”

      Mack grumbled and shoved him, “Shut up, douche.”

  “Patience, honey. No one should ever be pressured to come out. When she feels brave enough to tell us soberly, we’ll be there for her.”

          “I’ve just been waiting for so long.”

   “I know, Mack.” Levi smiles, giving her shoulder a squeeze. He then glances across campus, “See that girl standing by the tree? Gay.”

        “HOW CAN YOU TELL THAT FROM ALL THE WAY HERE?” Mack exclaims, exasperated.

        “Okay. Try again.”

    From the corner of Mack’s eyes, she saw Cassie coming towards them, and gave her a loving smile. “Hi, baby.”

      “Good afternoon, darling.” Her best friend beams, pecking Mack on the cheek. Her lips lasted a little longer than usual, and Mack’s heart begins to race. How is it that after all these years, Cassie still makes her feel this way?

       It was magic.

      Cassie seemed sad today. She had her face coated in make-up and her hair done up in a loose bun, but she could see the dark circles under her eyes and her tired gaze burned into Mack’s soul. Mack reached out and squeezed Cassie’s hand. These last two weeks had been difficult on her, as she struggled to get used to not having an internship to go to. 

    Poor Cassie.

       Levi coughs, snapping them both out of their moment, “Married.”

Mack glared at him.

        “Hey, bitch. Finished for the day?” Levi asked, giving Cassie a loving grin.

    “Yup.” She yawns, leaning her head on Mack’s shoulder. “What’re you two up to?”

            “Trying to teach my little homo over here how to use her gaydar,” Levi sighs.

     “I think I’m getting really good at it!” Mack exclaims, feeling proud. Cassie chuckles and lifts her knuckles to her lips, kissing them gently. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach.

    “Well, who are we looking at? Can I try?”

                 Mack swallowed, “Why? You’re straight.”

      A tentative, silent moment passed between all three friends. Cassie warily shared a look with Levi. Her grip tightened on Mack’s hand.

         “It’ll certainly save me another fifteen years of crushing on men who will eventually treat me like trash.” Cassie sighs, looking away.

      “Alright, honey. If you think you’re so special.”

             Mack watched as Cassie straightened herself, and peered at the people roaming around the courtyard, “Lesbian…” She pointed to a dark-skinned woman with pretty curls and a bright pink t-shirt, “Gay…” She then nods over to a young man wearing a ripped t-shirt, camouflage pants, and Birkenstocks. It helped that he was leaning a little bit closer to another man, who looked smitten by him. “Bisexual…” She smiles at a young woman who was wearing alternative clothing, had headphones stuck in her ears, and a book on her lap. She then turns her attention to an androgynous-looking human who wore sunglasses (probably covering the evidence from a wild night out), a white blouse and silky pajama pants, looking like they just rolled out of bed. “Transgender.”  

                     Levi’s and Mack’s mouths both dropped open in shock. “I am shook.” Levi gaped, falling over on the steps.

         “I’m proud of you, baby.” Mack beams, giving Cassie a kiss. Her best friend let out the most adorable giggle.

           Mack’s phone dings with a message as she perks up with excitement, smiling when it was Elliot.

        “Is that…?” Levi asks with a smirk. Mack glared at him with the power of a thousand suns, and nods at Cassie.

       “Who texted you?” Cassie wonders.

    “Elliot. They’ve been texting for two weeks, non-stop.” Levi rolls his eyes.

          “Levi, stop making this a big deal. We’re just friends,” she rolled her eyes, “And how do you even know it’s her?”

       “You have this goofy smile on your face. It’s cute. I’m so proud of you for finally making a new friend, Mackie!”

       Mack slaps him across the knee, “What the fuck do I always say? Only. Cassie. Calls me. Mackie!” She said, hoping that would ease Cassie’s soul.

         “Who’s Elliot?”

Guess not.

        “My new friend. I met her after class one day. She had a bet with her friends that she couldn’t get my number, and was super awkward about it. But I told her I was off the market, will be for a while,” she says, squeezing Cassie’s hand, “She plays soccer.”

         “Oh, I see,” Mack could hear the relieved tone in Cassie’s voice, and smiled as her eyes twinkled with excitement. Cassie coughed awkwardly, “I mean, uh. I’m glad you made a new friend, darling.” She then smiled, “You should invite her to our party on Saturday.”

         “Yeah, I can’t wait for you guys to meet her! She’s super cool. Well, not as cool as me, obviously. Who is?”

           Cassie giggles, gently caressing Mack’s cheek with her thumb, a hopeful look on her face.

Mack then pointed to a girl who walked past then, “…gay.”

         “No.” Levi replies with less enthusiasm.

 

      The week passed on slower than Mack or Cassie would have liked. Their relationship shouldn’t have gotten awkward, but with Mack focusing her attention on forming a new relationship with Elliot, and Cassie feeling strangely jealous about it, they hardly saw each other.

     Cassie would hear Mack in her room, talking loudly and happily with her new friend, feeling like she was intruding if she just lay in bed next to her.

     Not to mention Cassie’s headache wouldn’t subside, as her brain was desperately trying to remember what happened between them that horrible night.   

        Cassie sighed as she took a long sip of her tea, glancing at Mack who was comfortably lying on her lap. It was now Saturday, and the infamous party would happen tonight.  

She was texting Elliot again.

  Ugh.

     “I’m… thinking of ordering pizza for lunch. What do you want on your half?”

   “Oh, pepperoni,” Mack says, “Is it alright if I invite Elliot over to eat with us?”

            Cassie stills. An unsettling feeling resonated within her stomach, and she asked, “Why?”

      “She wants to hang out. Why would there be any other reason?”

                  “No, there shouldn’t be,” Cassie frowns, “Mack, why didn’t you tell me about Elliot sooner?”

         “Because we were both busy with classes. What, is it now suddenly my business to tell you every single person I hang out with?”

   This was suddenly going downhill. And fast.

         “As my best friend I thought we trusted each other well enough to not keep any secrets.”

     “Elliot is not a secret! I just happened to forget about telling you, stop making this a big deal!”

        “It started to become a big deal when you decided to tell Levi first, and not me.”

    “Oh my god, Cassie. You’re making this fucked up,” Mack then widened her eyes, “Just because you’re jealous someone else is finally interested in me doesn’t mean you have the authority to control everything I do!”

           “I-I’m not controlling! And I’m not jealous!”

       “Really? That’s a load of bullshit if you ask me, Cassie,” She then gets up in her face, “You have done NOTHING but sigh and roll your eyes ever since I started talking to Elliot! Even after I assured you that there was NOTHING romantic going on between me and her!”

        “Are you certain? What if she has an ulterior motive? I-I don’t want your heart or hers to be broken because she wants to be in a relationship with you.”

            “Why do you FUCKING CARE SO MUCH?” Mack then gripped at her hair, “You’re not my girlfriend, Cassie!”

     Ouch. That one _stung_.

Cassie wanted to scream, but then suddenly an image flashed before her eyes, of herself drunk and crying, with Mack comforting her from the other night. Of her saying that she wants to marry Mack, and her best friend admitting that she’s waited to hear that for the last seventeen years.

        Cassie’s heart _hurt_.

   Tears were streaming down both of their faces, and they were both breathing heavily. Feeling overwhelmed, Cassie attempted to take a step forward and console Mack, but her best friend raised her hands up.

        “Don’t.” Mack whimpered, her voice broken. “Just. I can’t do this.” She buried her face in her hands, “I can’t do this anymore.”

         “Mackenzie—,” Cassie sputtered out, but her plea fell upon deaf ears. Mack let out a sob and ran into her room. “Fuck. I fucked it all up.” She whimpered, crying as she hurried out of the apartment. “Why do I always fuck everything up?”

         The cold April air breezed past Cassie as she trudged down the street, unsure where she was going, but knowing that she needed a break to clear things up in her head. She didn’t care that it was raining. Or that she completely forgot an umbrella. She sat down on a park bench and put her head in her hands, and sobbed quietly to herself.

         God, why did she have to be such a bitch? 

     “Fancy running into you here,” Chimed a friendly voice, and Cassie looked up to see Levi. He had a concerned look on his face as he bent down to console her. “Please explain to me why Mack called me sobbing an hour ago because her wife turned into a raging bitch.” He then leaned over his umbrella to cover her head.  

        “Because I’m an idiot,” Cassie mumbled sadly, “I… I missed Mack all week and thought she was replacing me with Elliot.”

        Levi chuckled, “Never in a million years would Mack think to replace you. Elliot’s just a friend. They’re good together, and Elliot brings out a confidence I’ve never seen before in our Mackie. God, when those two are together, it’s like rainbows are just shooting out of their asses like that fucking Nyan Cat meme.” Cassie giggled weakly, and leaned into Levi’s embrace. “Now normally, you don’t get this jealous whenever someone new hangs out with her. Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

           “Levi,” Cassie swallowed, wondering if this was how Mackenzie felt when she came out. Like her stomach was going to throw up its contents at any moment. Like the world was spinning off its axis. “I think I like girls.”

         “I know, babe,” Her friend laughs, “And more specifically _A_ girl.”

     “I’m in love with Mackenzie,” Cassie says, tears in her eyes, “To the point where I want to marry her. Call her mine. Forever.” 

          “Whoa now, darling. You haven’t even taken the girl out on a date! Jeez, what they say about lesbians are true. Meeting the first day, moving in on the second day, marrying on the third.”

             “Oh stuff it, Levi,” Cassie grumbled, wiping her eyes. “…Have you always known?”

     “That you two idiots are in love, or that you are bisexual?”

           “Yes.”

     “Do you remember when we were in high school, and Mack never took any boys out to those lame dances? And how she always hung around you all night? And that at some point, it was always just you two on the dance-floor, dancing to a slow song, while everyone was tired or bored with the party?” Levi smiles, taking a piece of hair out of Cassie’s face, “Or how it would always be you and Mack teaming up for a project? Or how you would have this specific smile reserved just for Mack, whenever she stood up to you from the girls who picked on you?” Levi smiled, gently caressing her face, “Mack was in love with you then and her love only grew as each year passed.”  

        “I’m too late,” Cassie mumbled quietly, leaning into him, “I fucked it all up. She hates me now.”

          “So, you got jealous over Elliot. That’s nothing Mackenzie would carry to her grave,” Levi then pats her knee, “Cassie, Mack has waited years for you. She’s not going to stop loving you just because of this one argument. I’ve watched you fall in love, and I know for a fact there is hope for you both. So, please. Don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on Mackenzie. Be brave and you better tell your wife how you feel, because I’m tired of all this insipid lesbian drama.”

        Cassie nods weakly, and a fresh wave of tears falls down her face, “I just… feel so guilty, that I made her wait so long. All those years she spent… w-wondering, praying, hoping… only for the crashing reality to say that I could never fall in love with her. That it could never be.”

        “Not in this universe,” Levi says, giving her a wink. “How do you feel? You’re a baby gay, now!”

         “…I feel safe.” Cassie smiles, squeezing Levi’s shoulder. “I feel loved.” She murmured quietly, thinking of her beloved Mack. “I feel… _valid._ ”

       “You have always been all those things,” Her best friend grins, poking her on the nose. “Always remember that.” He then stands up, extending his hand, “Now, clean yourself up bitch. You look disgusting, and you need to be on point for our party tonight. Promise me that you’ll patch things up with your better half before then.”

         “I’ll try.” She mumbles, “Thank you, Levi.”

         Levi smiles, giving her cheek a kiss. He walks her to her home and lets himself into the apartment, “Oi MACKENZIE, I FOUND YOUR WIFE.”

   “GO AWAY, LEVI.”

             “Not helping.” Cassie glared at him and shoved him aside, warily walking to Mack’s bedroom, knocking on her door. Once. Twice. “Darling?”

      “I’m not here.”

  “Clearly,” Cassie chuckled, and slowly opens the door. She then frowns as Mack’s room is in a state of distress again, with all her clothes and books thrown onto the floor. There was a trash can beside her bed with a bunch of meshed tissues filled to the brim. 

         Cassie climbed into bed with her, rubbing the small of her back. She placed gentle kisses along Mack’s hair and snuggled close to her. “I’m an idiot.”

       “And?”

  “An asshole.”

        “ _And_?”

   “A jealous raging bitch.”

       “AND,”

    “A stink-brain.”

          “Aaaaand?”

    Cassie crinkled her nose. “A knucklehead McSpanzatron.” She then leans closer to Mack’s ear, and kisses it, “I’m so sorry, my love.” She pouted, "How long are you going to stay mad at me?" 

            "Ten minutes."   

            Mack cautiously shows Cassie her tear-stained face, and childishly sticks her tongue out.

       “Really? That’s the mature response you have?” Cassie wraps her hands around Mack’s neck, “Are you five?”

         “Hypocritical much? You’re the one who stormed out an hour ago because you were _jealous._ ”

      Cassie blushes, rolling her eyes. She then stares at her, face serious, “I’m in love with you, Mackenzie Wilson. Sometimes I love you so much my heart aches.” 

       “Cassie…” Mack breathes in awe.

    “You don’t have to say anything back,” She chuckles, “I already know.” She then places a gentle kiss on her nose. “I just wanted to tell you before I psyched myself out.” She whispers.

    Mack stares at her in silent shock, cheeks flushing red. Tears glisten in her eyes.

     “Go take a shower, stinky,” Mack says, wiping away her tears. “You were caught in the rain and we need to get ready for the party tonight.”

         “What if I want to stay here for five more minutes and cuddle with you?”

    Mack laughs, “Alright, but if you get sick later, don’t make me say ‘I told you so’.”     

       Cassie smiles. Letting out a deep sigh, she closes her eyes and takes a nap with her love.

* * *

 

     Mack was nervous. She felt like her insides were churning with a swarm of angry butterflies, as she tried to find the right outfit to wear. Normally she didn’t care so much about her appearance, but for tonight, she really wanted to impress Cassie. 

     After their fight, Cassie’s actions made it clear to her that she remembered that horrible night, and her feelings were set in stone.

    Cassie was in love with her.

   Cassie was _gay_.

  That thought alone was enough to put a smile on her face.

She was so proud of her best friend.

        She really wanted to make things official tonight, but she sure as hell didn’t know how. She hoped Levi would be able to ease her soul and help her out.

         Mack let out a deep breath, staring at herself in the mirror. Alright. Pep-talk time. “Hey, Cassie. So, I don’t want to make things weird between us, because. Shit. Things are already weird. You’re bi and that’s okay know that I still love you and that’s great because we’re in love—fuck. No wait.” Mack held her face in her hands.

      “Cassie. Babe. Sun of my life, um. I’m so in love with you; what do you say we buy a house and a dog together, yeah? And maybe have like, three kids? They’re definitely not coming out of _this body_ , I can assure you that much.” 

      She shakes her hands out to get rid of the nerves, “Cassie. Darling. Babe. Honey nut bunches of oats. Fuck that’s not something you call people.”       

           Mack then pics up a fake mustache and places it on her mirror right above her lip. “Hey! Cassie. So, it’s recently come to my attention that I’ve a big old lesbian crush on you. But like you’re bi and that’s works out so well for me! Yay!” She does a weak jazz motion with her hands, “Please make out with me.”    

             She moans, slapping herself repeatedly in the head. After a few moments the door bursts open to reveal Cassie, and Mack suddenly forgets everything she just rehearsed.

          “Hey. Are you almost ready to go?”

    “—I’m really gay!” Mack blurts, and her cheeks turn crimson. Her heart hammers in her chest.

            Cassie raises an eyebrow and shamelessly checks her out, “I’m aware.” She says in a low, sultry voice. Grinning, Cassie wraps her arms around Mack’s waist and suddenly they’re both leaning against a wall. “I’ve never seen you wearing this shirt. It looks nice.”

          Mack swallowed, as she could feel her best friend slowly dragging her fingers further down her back. She’s honestly never seen this side of Cassie before.

         It was incredibly hot.

 “Yeah, well. There’s… someone I want to impress.”

           “Really?” Cassie peers at her, “Will she be at the party?”

    “I hope so. There’s something I really want to tell her, and I fear if I wait one more day, I wouldn’t say it at all.”

           “…is it bad that I don’t want to go? That there’s something else in mind I want to do tonight?”

         “Cass, we can’t leave Levi’s party like divas. He’ll murder us.”

       “Ah, fuck him. He won’t give a shit. He won’t even notice we’re gone,” Cassie then brings her lips in between Mack’s shoulder and neck, “I don’t feel like sharing you right now.”

        “C-Cassie…!” Mack squealed, tightening her grip. She felt heat pool in her stomach as her best friend left a trail of kisses up her neck, her hands feeling their way up her stomach and resting on her breasts. She wasn’t sure if Cassie knew what she was doing, but fuck, she didn’t want her to stop. Her entire body ached to feel her, to love her, and she was ready for her.

      After peppering kisses on Mack’s cheek, Cassie then brings her lips to the sensitive part of Mack’s ear, and nibbles on it. 

        “Cassie… oh god…” she whimpered, “Please…”

    There were tears in her eyes. 

      “Yes?” Cassie asks, after a tentative pause. Mack nods.

            Cassie stares at her in awe, as Mack writhed beneath her, and gently touched her lower mouth in growing trepidation.

    So close…

          There was a knock at the door, and Levi burst through. “ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS GOING TO THE PARTY OR NOT?!”

         Cassie’s eyes tilted into slits and she dropped her hands free from Mack’s body. “I’m going to murder that boy.” 

             Mack couldn’t speak. She just gave her a weak thumb up, and slumped to the floor, as Cassie ran out of the room.

        What just _happened_?

              

    It was around 10:00 pm and the party was in full swing. Mack poured two beers, taking a deep breath as she walked over to where Cassie was standing. God, she really looked gorgeous tonight. The envy of everyone in the room. And she was all Mack’s.

             She felt a surge of pride course through her when she realized that after tonight, they would both be permanently off the market. She couldn’t wait another evening.

    She wanted to be Cassie’s girlfriend. Lover. Fiancée, _whatever_. She just wanted to get out of the stupid friend zone and move on to the _end zone_.

           “Thanks, baby,” Cassie murmured when Mack handed her the beer. She wrapped her free arm around her, giving her ass a gentle squeeze. Mack blushes, leaning into her embrace, and pecking Cassie on the cheek. They clinked glasses.

    “Where did all these people come from? Didn’t Levi say it was going to be a small party?”

           “I don’t know. Only ten people said they were coming.” Cassie then squeezed her shoulder, “Are you okay? Do you feel anxious?”

          “I’m fine. I feel better now that I’m with you.” Mack mumbled shyly, giving her a smile.

    They both glared at Levi, who threw his arms up, “I may have texted a few extra people. I mean, hell, ten people is a gathering, ladies. This is a PARTY!” The crowd cheered.

          Mack sighs, “Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends with that idiot.”

   “Because Levi’s our gay fairy godmother and we’d be nowhere without him.” Cassie admits.

           “Shit bro, you’re right.”

     Cassie chuckled and leaned their foreheads together. From the corner of her eye, Mack sighs when she spots Mathew and his new girl walking into Levi’s living room.

     “Don’t look now, but your ex and his new stripper girlfriend are here,” Mack announces, gently cupping Cassie’s cheek, “I know how you got the last time you saw him.”

       “I’m over that bastard,” Cassie shakes her head, “I’ve got someone much better now.” She then smiles lovingly, “I know my knight in shining armor will protect me.”

           “I always will.” Mack grins. She begins to rub Cassie’s back, and sighs with relief when her best friend has thankfully calmed down. “Has she even gotten her period yet? She looks twelve.”

        Cassie snorts, and places a kiss on Mack’s nose.

   

      Elliot smiles at the two girls from across the beer pong table, noticing how extra cuddly they were tonight. She wanted to hang out with Mack earlier that afternoon, but understood that Mack had to clear a fight she had with Cassie. They could easily reschedule for another date. She suddenly understood what everyone keeps talking about.

      The way Cassie smiles at Mack, it’s like no one else is in the room. Mack has her arms wrapped around Cassie’s neck while Cassie’s hands are casually resting on Mack’s ass, the two of them finding comfort in each other. She couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying, or if they were even speaking at all. It was like they were having conversations with their eyes.

     Elliot sighs longingly. She hoped that one day she’ll have a love like that. She’s just nervous to let her heart open.

       From the corner of her eye, she spots Levi stumbling over to her. “Hey, bitch. How’re you liking the party?”

        “It’s great, Levi. Thank you for inviting me.”

    “Any friend of Mack’s is a friend of mine,” Levi winks at her, and then turns his attention towards Mack and Cassie, “Ugh. They’re so in love it’s gross.”

           “Do you think they’re together yet?”

   “No, definitely not. But I’m certain they need a little help getting there. I’m fresh out of ideas.”

            “Why don’t we just lock them in a closet and they can’t come out until they make out?” Elliot suggests with a smile.

         “That’s too easy,” Levi sighs. “Besides, I think they’ll just spend the whole time talking about puppies or some shit.”

            The blonde laughs, “Okay. Hum. What about a dirty game of truth or dare?”

    “I like the way you think, Eli. I was going to suggest having either of them give the other a lap dance.”

       “Who says Mack can’t ask for a dare and you tell her that?”

  “Ooh, you’re evil. I love it.”

           “And you’re drunk.”

   “Honey, I’m not even feeling a buzz. Get on my level.” Elliot rolls her eyes. Levi then grasps her hand and they hurry over to a quiet part of the apartment (which was hard to find) and wrote down whatever came into their mind.

 

     It was almost nearing twelve am but no one was in any mood to leave, nor were they tired. Mack was feeling a little buzzed, as she focused her attention on Cassie the entire night. She wasn’t sure where Elliot went, or hell, even Levi, but she didn’t care.

       All that mattered was Cassie.

 They always made a great team while playing beer pong, and celebrated their victory with another round of drinks.

     Mack’s happy buzz left her chest when she saw Mathew, and glared at him.

  “Mind if we sit down?”

            “No, you absolutely fucking cannot,” Mack glares, “Did you not listen to a word I said the last time?”

        “Baby. Hey, relax,” Cassie soothes, placing a gentle kiss on Mack’s cheek. “We’re okay.”

    “B-but Cassie, he’s such an asshole—!”

           “I know. Let him sit.”

     “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

            “You think I’m cute, eh?” Her best friend beams, resting her head on Mack’s shoulder, Mathew forgotten. She notices Mathew giving them a strange look, and smirks widely at him. 

          Levi, the man of the hour, thankfully shows up just in time before an awkward conversation could start.

      “Hey _gays_ , who’s up for a game of sexy truth or dare?” Levi hollers, holding up two plates with multiple sheets of paper in them.

        “Truth or dare? Are we in high school?”

   “Honestly Tina, shut up, I didn’t even invite you.” Levi snickered.

           “It’s _Tasha_.”

     “Nobody cares,” Levi glares at her, “So do us all a favor and shut your dirty mouth.”

               Tasha let out an offended gasp, causing Mack and Cassie to laugh amongst themselves.

        “Mathew! Defend me!”

              The young man shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. Mack suddenly notices how tired he looks. “Nah.”

         She huffs and leaves the couch, slapping Mathew on the chest.

   Levi leans over to the man, “Dude, she’s not even a two out of ten. You can do so much better.”

         “I know,” He sighs miserably, “I get that.”

    If Mack wasn’t drunk, she’d feel bad for him.

 

                 The game started off tame, with Levi putting most of the pressure on Mathew and his other guests, having them do wacky things that were completely unorthodox and everyone would remember because Elliot caught it all on video. Mathew somehow ended up shirtless and with lipstick all over his chest, Elliot was on the floor in an uncontrollable laughing fit because she had one too many peach snobs, and Levi was annoyed because all Cassie’s been choosing was ‘truth’ instead of dare. Levi should have known better than to even put truth in the first place.

        “So, Cass. It’s your turn again,” Levi grins, motioning to the half empty plate of suggestions, “Dare… or dare?”

        “You didn’t say truth this time!”

     “Because for the last hour that’s all you picked! C’mon Cass, stop being an old lady and chose dare!”

           “Lev, are you up to something?”

      “Moi? Up to something?” He sputtered, throwing his hands up, “Please just pick dare.”

            Mack squeezed Cassie’s hand, “Alright, fine. Dare.”

     “I dare you… to let Mack… give you a lap dance.”

                      Cassie’s heart began to race, and her hand gripped tighter on her drink. “A _what_?”

        “A lap dance—to the song _Into You_ , by my girl Ariana.”

             Mack internally groaned. Great, that song painfully represented her feelings for Cassie. The universe hated her.   

             Mack could feel Cassie’s anxiety seeping off her, “Do you want to do this?”

      “Yeah. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” Mack breathed, “But I won’t do this if you’re uncomfortable.”

          Cassie stares at Mack for a long moment, searching for some form of absolution in her eyes. Mack gave a loving kiss on her cheek and that’s when Cassie was certain. She then took a long swig of her drink, chucking the last of it down, crumpling it in her hands.

      _Oh my god, this is really happening. Oh, my god._ Cassie chanted in her head.

        Mack squeezed her hand, silently assuring her that everything was going to be okay.

  Levi let out an excited cheer. He brought over a folding chair, gesturing Cassie to sit down.

          Cassie chewed on the inside of her cheek, her hands clutching the ends of the chair so hard her knuckles were turning white.

     Mack’s gentle touched barely soothed her, as she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. The amount of love she had for this woman was unfathomable. She wouldn’t be able to last a second of this.

         “Relax, Cass,” Mack assured her, caressing her hands, “Don’t worry about any of these assholes. Just look right at me, okay? I’m here. I’ve got you.”

         “Okay. I trust you.”

    That was all the confirmation Mack needed to have her body start swaying to the music.

        Cassie could tell Mack felt awkward feeling herself, as an unquenchable heat coursed through Cassie’s stomach already. God, she wanted to touch her _so badly_. The young woman admired the way her best friend was twisting her body, and slowly, cautiously, leaning closer to her.

        Mack grasps Cassie’s arms, trying to find a surface to hold onto while she grinds onto Cassie’s stomach. It was in that moment Cassie lost all sense of everything else around her, as her heart was focused on Mack. She could smell the beer on her breath, and the odd mixture of cologne and deodorant that her friend put on earlier that night. Regardless, she smelled amazing. Cassie let out an excited gasp as Mack boldly nipped at her ear.

        Cassie’s hands then loosened their grip on her chair and she brought them onto Mack’s waist, as she pulled the pretty blonde closer, and she rests her face just above her breasts. Gods, they were so soft. Why did she never think to do this before?

        “Cassie, you’re not supposed to touch her! You broke the goddamn rule!” Levi sputtered, exasperated. Elliot whacked him with her cup.

          “Shut the fuck up! Gay shit is happening!”

       Cassie wasn’t in control of her hands as she eagerly stripped off Mack’s jean jacket, her hand fiddling with the hem of her best friend’s shirt. She smirked at the happy, excited expression in Mack’s eyes as she nods.  

    The jacket came off.

       Elliot cheered.

  An image flashed in Cassie’s mind of Mack placing hot, needy kisses on her neck and moaning her name. Cassie’s hands became lost in Mack’s hair as she pressed their faces closer towards one another. Mack was so focused on dancing she didn’t even realize her shirt was gone and her skin was showing.

     It was here that Cassie noticed Mack was enjoying herself, as she loosened up her moves, and a wild smirk was on her face. She had never seen Mack’s eyes filled with so much lust and desire before.

    In one fell swoop, Mack quickly turns around so her back is facing Cassie, her ass grinding the opposite way on Cassie’s stomach. Cassie’s hands unintentionally moved their way up her stomach, stopping just below her breasts. She felt exposed, but definitely not embarrassed in Cassie’s embrace.  

       Cassie leaned forward so she could press her lips on Mack’s neck, all the while her roaming hands are going up and down her bare stomach. She was seconds away from ripping that bra off Mack, audience be damned. She left a trail of kisses on her neck. Mack moved her neck aside to give her best friend more room to leave a hickey.

      “Fuck,” Cassie groans, as her best friend flips herself over to face her again, and Mack stared at her with concerned eyes. She could feel the heat pooling in her stomach and her pants growing embarrassingly wet.

      “Are you okay?” Mack asked weakly as she collapsed into her, feeling emotionally drained from the song. Cassie sucked in a nervous breath as she hid her shaking hands on Mack’s stomach. The song played on, but it was clear that the game was over. Mack buried her face in embarrassment on Cassie’s shoulder, mumbling, “I’m so sorry, that was so bad. I didn’t mean to make you so embarrassed, Cassie.”   

     Meanwhile, Cassie was trying to figure out how to not have a panic attack.

    So, naturally, she said the first thing that was on her mind, “I gotta pee.” And she shoved Mack off her without warning. 

     She then locked herself in the bathroom before anyone could stop her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like, imagine your best friend giving you the sexiest lap dance of your life. I would run away too, shfjjfjfsfksafs


	5. Bathroom Confessions (Not As Sexy As You Think)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack follows Cassie into the bathroom. Gayness increases over 9,000. They become famous on Tumblr.

_" **I'm hooked on all these feelings**_  
_**I know exactly what I'm feelin'**_  
_**This love asylum, like an island, just me and you**_  
_**Spent the night, you got me high**_  
_**Oh, what did you do?**_  
_**I'm hooked on all these feelings**_ "-Feelings, by Hayley Kiyoko 

* * *

 

 

      Mack had to blink several times before she realized that she was on the floor, her heart was pounding against her ribcage, and she didn’t have a shirt on. She then warily checked her thighs.

    Shit. Or pants. She was just in her boxer briefs.

    “…what the fuck?” Mack groans, rubbing her eyes. “Cassie?” She anxiously turns to Levi, “Dude, where did Cassie go? Fuck. I am going to have diarrhea.”

             Levi couldn’t answer her. He was still in shock by what happened, sputtering out nonsensical words, pointing in different directions. Swallowing thickly, Mack didn’t bother to pick up her clothes as she stumbled out of the living room and down the hallway.

     It wasn’t hard to find her best friend as she heard Cassie’s uneven breaths and anxious sobs coming from the bathroom.

     “Cassie?” Mack begins, lightly knocking on the door. “Cassie, is that you?”

 “M-Mackie?” She replies, and Mack grips at the door knob.

        “May I come in?”

  She didn’t answer. Mack took that as her cue to comfort her and she opened the door, and sighed deeply when she saw Cassie hunched over in the tub, her face stained with tears.

       “Oh, Cassie… are you okay?”

    “Oh yeah, I’m totally okay. Totally fine. I just… um… that was just really overwhelming for me.”

       Mack took a deep breath and started to ramble, “Listen, Cassie I know it was stupid okay and I tried to be sexy but I wasn’t and I made you uncomfortable. I don’t want you to feel awkward around me. It was Levi’s idea and I’m sorry I put you in such a comprising position. We can just forget the entire thing. Besides, I don’t see why you’d have a problem with it!”

     Cassie’s gaze was intense, “I don’t have a problem.”

        “—and maybe it was kind of fun but it doesn’t have to mean anything, so there is no problem here.”

    “Mackenzie.” Cassie urges quietly.

          “I don’t know why you’re so worked up about this. It was just a stupid dare! There shouldn’t be a problem!”

            “ _MACKENZIE_!”

    “WHAT?” Mack screams, in the same tone.

              “I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM!”

       “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME?”

                “BECAUSE  _YOU’RE_ SCREAMING!”

  Mack heaved a deep, nervous breath, waving her arms around, “But you ran in here—,”

          Cassie shoved her aside. “Because I liked it you idiot.”

     “Huh?” Mack blinks.

                Cassie sucked in a deep breath and she extended her hand for Mack to take it; her legs momentarily forgetting how to function like a normal human being, Mack guided her out of the tub, and they stood awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom.

                “Fuck, I knew you were oblivious but I just told you this afternoon that I’m in love with you. What, did you think I was joking?” Cassie says, exasperated. She then leaned her forehead against Mack. “I meant every word that night, Mack. Especially when I asked you to marry me.” Mack sucked in a surprised gasp. Tears glistened in her eyes as she tightened her hold on Cassie, heart pounding in her chest. “Do you want me to say it again?” Feebly, Mack nods. “I’m in love with you, Mackenzie Leanne Wilson. I love your smile. The way you make me laugh. I love that you always know how to make me feel better after a bad day. I think I’ve been in love with you for a while, but I was too scared to admit it to myself. I didn’t know what to do with these feelings so for years I’ve pushed them away. I told myself that it was sinful to be in love with you. That I would ruin everything we have. I told myself that since society says it’s right to be attracted to men, to love men instead, being with Mathew was safe. But I wasn’t… I wasn’t happy with him. I know now why I couldn’t marry that man because my heart belonged to yours. It’s always been you, Mackenzie. In this life, and in everyone after, _I choose you_ ,” Tears were streaming down Cassie’s face, “I’m sorry you had to wait for me for so long.”

       “C-Cassie!” Mack exclaimed, and she suddenly lurches forward, and their lips meet. It is gentle at first, as Mack tentatively places their lips together. Mack’s somehow strong enough to lift Cassie up and they somehow are on the counter now, causing the soap dispenser and any random objects on the sink to fall off, as Cassie hops on and presses her hands against the mirror to balance herself. Mack’s hands became lost in Cassie’s hair as they kissed; their lips tasted salty with sweat and tears.   

    Fire coursed through Mack’s veins. She closed her eyes, reminding herself that no, this wasn’t a dream. This was reality. Cassie’s heart belonged to hers.

       Always has been.

         “I’m bisexual, Mack,” Cassie said with a laugh, as Mack kisses her again, “I’ve—,” there was a kiss breaking her sentence, “—figured—,” another kiss, “—it,” another, “—out!” 

       “I’m so proud of you,” Mack whimpers, when they broke apart from each other for a second. Mack’s lips were swollen, “I love you so much, Cassie,” she caresses Cassie’s cheek, “It feels so good to finally say that out loud.”

         “I want to someday call you my wife,” Cassie breathes, taking a piece of hair out of Mack’s face, tucking it behind her ear, “I want to call you the mother to our children. I want to buy a house with you someday. I want to make love to you,” she gazes lovingly into Mack’s eyes, “All this time I was just so stupid because I never realized that the perfect gal for me was always right next door.” 

           “Well I hope you’re sure about this, because you’re stuck with me for a while now.” Mack grins cheekily. She lets out a quiet sob, holding her face in her hands. “T-to be fair, this isn’t—exactly, how I imagined our first kiss to be like.” 

           “I’ve waited this long.” Cassie beamed, and Mack giggles as she pulls her in for a kiss again. This time, it was more heated, passionate, as Mack’s hands slipped underneath Cassie’s shirt. “Wait—baby—,” she paused, “You’ve thought about our first kiss?”  

          “I want to do this the right way.” Nodding, Mack quickly grasped her hand and they stumbled into the nearest bedroom, ignoring the odd stares that they received from their party-goers.

            Cassie closed the door and eagerly pressed Mack against the wall beside it, gently caressing her face, “May I kiss you?”

            “Please, Cass.” Mack whimpers, and she smiles, eagerly leaning in.

     Oh, gods, Mack loved doing this so much. Kissing Cassie. Feeling her. Tasting her. Loving her. This was nothing compared to her dreams. She cupped Cassie’s face in her hands, as Cassie’s own hands traced against her skin, fingers feeling the hem of her boxer briefs. Heat pooled spectacularly in Mack’s stomach while Cassie ground her hips into Mack.

        They stumbled over to the bed, Cassie sitting on the edge of it while Mack was hovering over her. Cassie’s shirt came off and fell to the floor, besides Mack.

       “For the record, I have no idea what I’m doing.” Mack weakly managed.

   “Honestly, neither do I.”

            “Oh, thank fuck.”

    Cassie grins as she then grips both sides of her underwear, “How much do you like these?”

             “I have more.” Mack grins, and without hesitation, Cassie shoves them off her legs.

    Mack gripped onto the pillows as Cassie lay on top of her, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down her stomach. Mack starts to grind her hips.

       Fuck. That felt so _good_.      

     Just as Cassie was about to open her mouth to ask Mack if she was okay, Levi burst through the door.

          “Dude! Get the fuck out!” Mack sputters, as she holds onto Cassie’s head, desperately trying to keep her emotions in check.

          “I just wanted to check and make sure that you two haven’t killed each other.” Levi chuckles. “I thought you said you had diarrhea.”

         “I don’t have diarrhea.” Mack panicked, not knowing where that came from. Cassie snickered. “I _don’t_!”

        There is an awkward silence.

       “Clearly, everything is going okay so can you please leave? I’m about to have the best sex of my life with the love of my life.”

        “Aw, I love you too, baby.” Cassie purrs, nuzzling her cheek against Mack.

   “Uh, rule number one of first time sex: always use protection. And do either of you have anything? No. I’m just being the overprotective parent here and don’t want either of you to rush into this.”

          “Oh my god, Levi.” Mack covers her hands, “I’m _finally_ about to get laid. Did you forget how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

          “Don’t come crying to me if either of you regret this,” He then waved, “Okay I love you, please play it safe, _bye_.”

                 Mack groans and her head flops back onto the pillow.

   “He’s right, you know. We should play it safe. We should wait.” Cassie sighs, caressing Mack’s face.

          “Cassie, you’ve proposed to me drunk and we’ve been married since we were five. I think we’ve broken all the rules of what a normal relationship is. I don’t want to wait any longer to give myself to you,” Mack begs, pulling her in for a kiss.

      “I know that sweetheart, and I’m sorry. But I’m not ready. Please respect that.”

   Mack heaved a deep breath, “Okay. I’ll wait for you until you are.”

          “I don’t doubt that for a second.” 

    They smiled at each other, and Mack gives her another kiss. “I love you.”

             “I love you too, Mack.” Cassie whispers, and the two held onto each other until they’ve calmed down, and then they snuck out of the party once they’ve gathered all their clothes. They cuddled up in Mack’s bed, emotionally exhausted, and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

 

      Cassie woke up first, stretching her tired limbs as she curled up beside Mack. Her heart was overflowing with love for this woman, and her mind was abuzz with the memories from the night before.

           Thank God, she wasn’t so drunk she completely forgot them this time.

  Finally, after all these years, she can imagine herself having a future with her love. She could imagine marrying her someday. She didn’t need to hide. She didn’t need to pretend.

          She is finally out, open, and free to live her life.

 Cassie had never felt so _happy_.

           Cassie gently caressed her fingers on Mack’s face, tracing every freckle, every imperfection. The reflection from their bedroom window casted as a rainbow, and it lit up her entire face. Cassie’s heart swelled at the metaphor, and tears sprung in her eyes. Why had it taken her so long to see how truly beautiful Mackenzie was?

        Yawning, Cassie warily checked the time and groaned when her alarm clock read 1:30 pm. They’d missed an entire morning sleeping. That was a first for Cassie, at least.  

        Boldly, she started peppering kisses on Mack’s face; on her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, before kissing her lips. Mack’s lips immediately responded to hers, as a soft moan escaped her best friend.

        “So last night _wasn’t_ a dream,” Mack murmured, opening her eyes. “You’re gay?”

   “Hella gay, Mack.”

                   “…never say that ever again.” She groaned, making Cassie laugh.

       Cassie then thought for a moment, “I prefer the term bisexual. I’m… still attracted to any other man that isn’t Mathew, but I know I’m attracted to girls because I’m in love with you.”

            She smiled as Mack’s mouth gaped open, and her lips curled into a smile. “Say that again.”

           “I’m in love with you.”

    “Cassie!” She giggles, and presses her lips on Cassie’s again. “I love you, too,” She breaths, snuggling up to her, “So damn much.”

              Her best friend hums in content, hands cupping her cheek. They lay together for a long moment until Cassie asked, “…so are we like, together now? Like as in… um… girlfriends?”

            Mack loudly laughed, “We’ve been married for the last seventeen years and you’re asking me if we’re _girlfriends_?”

          “I get that, but,” Cassie stutters, feeling embarrassed that she even asked, “I just… want to make things clear. What do I refer to you as through conversation? What do you feel more comfortable with? I-I don’t know Mack, I’ve never been in this situation before, so… I want to make sure we’re both on the same page. I’m… ugh… I’m sorry if I’m asking a stupid question.”

            “Aw, babe, don’t be embarrassed! It’s not a stupid question!” Mack tries to explain through a giggle, “I want to take you out on dates, Cass. I want to… hold you and kiss you and cuddle with you on a cold day by the fire. I want to raise a family with you. I’m so ready to start my life again with you. These aren’t the sort of things best friends do, y’know.”

            Cassie thinks for a second, and sighs, “…what if this doesn’t work out, Mackie?” She utters just above a whisper, “…what if we’re not romantically compatible… what if we break-up, and… I can’t be near you anymore? I have… so many insecurities about this, I just… I want to be good for you.”

              Mack has a serious expression on her face now, “…the only thing you can do is be yourself, my love. Stop worrying so much about ‘what-if’s’ and ‘maybes’. This is so new for both of us, a-and scary… I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I am nervous about this too,” She then smiles, “All my life, there were three things I was positive of: one, I love food,” Cassie laughs at this, “Two, I am a lesbian,” she gently caresses Cassie’s hair, “And three: I’ve been in love with you… my whole life. I don’t think there was ever a time where I didn’t love you. And I’m not going to stop any time soon, so you have nothing to worry about.”

         “Mack… when we’re alone… can I still call you my wife? Or would that be weird?”

    The lovely woman giggles, “Yes, you can still call me your wife. Everyone just assumes we’re married anyway.”

           “Can we elope tomorrow just to get it over with?” Cassie asks, eager.

    Mack blushes, “Whoa. Can you take me on a date first? I’ve always… have this fantasy of you taking me out to a nice restaurant and then walking me home.” 

       “Anything for you,” She beams, and they rub their noses together. Her breath hitches as a thought comes to her, “Mack… I get to marry you someday.”

         “That’s right, baby,” Mack says, “We get to make a family together too.”

     “God, Mack, you have no idea how happy that makes me feel,” she sniffs, burying her face in Mack’s shoulder, “We get to both be moms. To _our_ future kid,” she wrapped her arms tightly around Mack’s waist, “This is amazing.”

        “It is, love. It is.” She could feel Mack’s heart racing, “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.”

          Cassie hides her face from Mack as she cries with relief, and her new girlfriend comforts her.

         They lay in bed together for majority of the afternoon, reveling in each other’s love, until Mack’s stomach growled right on cue.

         “Breakfast time for my girlfriend,” Cassie sang, enjoying the way the term easily rolled off her tongue. “Or brunch. Either way, you need to eat.”

       Girlfriend. _Girlfriend._ Mackenzie Leanne Wilson was her fucking _girlfriend._

                       Wow.

   “Only if you’re making blueberry pancakes.” Mack grumbles, unwilling to get up. 

             Cassie giggles at her and they get up, finally starting their morning routine for the day. Everything was the same, except it was different now. They were more in sync than before. Mack didn’t even have to look at her to hand her lotion, or a toothbrush. Cassie just handed them to her. Cassie definitely felt much better after showering, emotionally at least.

        Mack let out a heavenly sigh as she linked arms with Cassie, and they walked into the living room only to find a hungover Levi, who was passed out on their couch.

      Mack gave Cassie a pleading look.

        “No, you absolutely cannot do what you’re about to do,” The black-haired woman sneered, “Maaaack. I’m warning you.” She raises an eyebrow, as Mack slowly turns and walks backwards into the kitchen. Mack is giggling, going through a cupboard and pulls out a permanent marker and hovers over Levi’s face. Cassie rolls her eyes at her girlfriend and goes into the kitchen, happy to make breakfast for them both. There was a random dude passed out on their dining room table, and their living room was a mess. She’ll worry about that later.

        There are many household things that Cassie finds herself loving, and she isn’t ashamed of them: she loves to cook, making dinner for her and Mack is her favorite pastime she looks forward too. It’s less expensive and the two bond easier getting dinner ready than ordering take-out. She enjoys doing the laundry, and watering the houseplants. Cleaning helps keep her calm. Being around the house is her happy place, and she wondered why it took her so long to feel so at peace here.

      Perhaps realizing that she is in love with Mack was the missing piece to her happy medium.

  “Mack, WHAT THE FUCK!?”

            Cassie rolls her eyes as she finishes making pancakes, flipping them onto three plates for each of them.

        Levi wildly reached out for his friend, but Mack giggles, hopping away from him and rushing towards her girlfriend.

        “Cassie, protect me from the angry tall gay!”

  “You brought this on yourself, darling.” Cassie smiles, as she protectively wraps her arms around Mack. She then holds back a giggle at the sight of Levi.

       “There’s a dick on my face, isn’t there?” He bemoans, pouting. “That’s cruel, Mack.”

    “The irony is hilarious.” She snickers, and Cassie shakes her head at her love’s immaturity.

          “I swear, you’re like a twelve-year-old boy sometimes, my love.”

    Mack blinks up at her, and then her face splits into a smile, “Thank you for that.”

               “Hey. Hi, my name is Chopped Liver. It’s nice to meet you.” Levi grumbles, folding his arms. Cassie and Mack laugh at him.

        Rolling her eyes, Cassie gently placed her lips on top of Mack’s, “Go apologize to Levi.”

  “What? Oh, come on!”

           “If you don’t, I won’t put Nutella on your plate.”  

     “You’re bluffing!” Mack shrieks, and after glaring at her, relents and apologizes shamelessly to Levi.

    Levi blinks. “Either you two are officially married, or I just woke up in an alternate universe,” He frowns, poking Cassie’s shoulder, “Wait. Everything else looks the same.”

        Cassie smiles lovingly at him, “We’re in love, Levi,” She let out a relaxed sigh as she rests her head on top of Mack’s, “It took me a while to figure things out, but here we are.”

         Mack hums in content, “I’m so proud of you, Cass.”

 They smiled at each other, before turning to Levi, who had tears glistening in his eyes.

       “Aw, Levi…” Mack began, but was interrupted by his sobbing, and he happily embraced both girls.

      “Seventeen years,” Levi sniffs, burying his face into Cassie’s shoulder, “Seventeen years Mack’s been waiting for you to say that. It… it took you a long while, but in the end, you realized your heart belonged to Mack’s and I’m so fucking proud of you.” He wipes his eyes with his sleeve, “Take care of her.”

           “I will, Levi.” Cassie says tearfully, squeezing his arm. “Thank you for always being so patient with me.”

       “Honestly babe, some days, I wanted to smash your head against a frying pan for the hell you put Mack through,” He chuckles, half playful and half serious. “But what’s past is past, and I know you two will have a happy future together. Can I take full credit for making Mackassie cannon?”

           “Wait, _what_?”

   “ _Mackassie_. It’s your ship name on Tumblr, duh. You two have been trending all night.”

                     “Levi, what are you talking about?”

       Levi blinks. “Uh, Elliot and I may or may not have started a poll and had our followers create the ship name for you. Or uploaded the video of you dancing on top of Cassie on our blog. Nope. Totally did not make that happen.”

               “LEVI!” Mack exclaims, taking herself out of Cassie’s embrace to tackle Levi, reaching for his phone from his pocket. She let out a pitiful groan as she looked over the posts, and repeatedly slaps her best friend in the chest.

       She always wanted to be Tumblr famous, but not like _this_.

  Cassie laughs as she leans against the counter, watching the scene unfold, a warm feeling buzzing in her chest.

              While Mack chased Levi across their tiny apartment, Cassie’s smile grew and grew, and her heart was filled to the brim with happiness. If this was her future now, she sure as hell wondered why it took her so long to get here.

     It was paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pulls up at drive-thru* can I get uhhhhh... number 5 with a side order of good communication and healthy queer relationships represented in media? oh. and fries.


	6. Your Heart Is All I Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack admits to Cassie something very sacred, and with tender love and care, they prepare for the future.
> 
> disclaimer: sex. rated g for gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always uncomfortable writing sex scenes that are rated pg-13, not because I honestly have no idea what I'm doing, but because I feel as if I'm watching a sacred moment that happens between Person A and B that is meant to be private. Yes, I know they're fictional. I know this is a story. Sex is something precious between two partners (or three. whatever floats your fancy, my dude), whatever the situation may be. I took that up a notch, here, as in this universe, Mack wanted to save her virginity for Cassie because she was (and always will be) the only woman she'll ever trust with her body. Every time she was with her previous boyfriend she felt like she was cheating on Cassie--and it pained her, because she was convinced Cassie would never have feelings for her or love her in that way.
> 
> you can feel free to skip over this chapter if you feel uncomfortable reading this kind of thing. I would understand. nothing else of importance happens, besides Mackassie going on a date and Levi stalking them. title inspo. from Ed Sheeran's "Perfect".

 

 

 

> **_“Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long. Good things come to those who wait.” -Jess C. Scott  
>  _ **
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

**March 3rd, 2016**

                Mack stirred in her sleep. She snuggled closer to her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her waist, burying her face into Cassie’s neck. She let out a soft whimper as a memory of her past plagued her mind. She wished for it to go away, wanting nothing more than the warm embrace of her love to remind her that none of it was real, but her mind lapsed into the memory anyways.

           _They were cuddled on his bed together, Andrew’s hand on Mack’s as they watched the rerun episodes of Orphan Black. Mack couldn’t concentrate on anything else, her heart beating rapidly with nerves and her mind at war with itself._

_She was only hanging out with her boyfriend because she couldn’t be in the same room as Cassie, who had called her boyfriend over to celebrate their anniversary. Mack felt horrible, being in the same room as those idiots. She couldn’t just sit there, watching the love of her life making out with someone who only loved her half as much as she did. It hurt too much._

_She hated her life so much. She was stuck in a loveless relationship with her boyfriend that only came to be because their fathers wanted them together. It was clear that Andrew had some attraction towards her, but Mack felt nothing._

_Mack let out a sigh and buried her head within Andrew’s pillows, feeling small and lonely. She never wanted this._

_She wanted Cassie._

_Why must her heart torture her and fall for someone she could never have?_

_“Hey,” Andrew says, turning a concerned gaze towards Mack. “Is everything okay? You’ve been quiet this whole time.”_

_“Tough week.” Mack wearily said, her mind going back to how disgustingly excited Cassie became whenever flowers showed up on her doorstep, or Mathew sent over chocolates or cheesy cards. It was hurting her heart so much, knowing that Cassie would never love her that way._

_“Wanna talk about it?”_

_Mack shook her head, feeling tired. She didn’t want to do anything right now. She should have gone to Levi, where she felt safe, and she could cry and grieve as much as she wanted to, and her best friend would comfort her._

_Before she could say anything more, Andrew was suddenly hovering over her. “I can… help distract you from whatever you’re feeling.”_

_Doubtful, Mack wanted to say. Her heart raced with trepidation and anxiety. Why was he so close? His hands felt rough on her skin as he started to kiss her, and each touch felt like they were burning her. She wasn’t in the mood, clearly—why the fuck did he assume she would want to be touched?_

_The words of discomfort and defiance threatened to tumble out of her lips, as she whimpered, feeling gross every time Andrew kissed her. When she felt his hands slip under her t-shirt and fiddling with the straps of her bra, she let out an anxious sheik and pushed him away._

_“Andrew, stop,” she huffs, pushing herself away from him, moving to the furthest side of the bed. “Please. I don’t want to be touched right now.”_

_He blinks, gazing curiously at her, “…I get it that you’re a virgin, but I promised I’d be gentle, didn’t I?”_

_“W-we’ve talked about this,” Mack whimpered, “I’m not ready. I’m saving myself.” At each word, she noticed she continued to shake even more._

_He sighs, “You want to save yourself for marriage, I know.”_

_I want to save myself for Cassie. She wanted to say, tears glistening in her eyes. She’s the only woman I trust with my virginity. She’s the only woman I LOVE._

_“I-I can’t do this anymore,” Mack said boldly, shaking her head, “I’d… I’d rather die than give my virginity to you.”_

_A heavy silence fell between them. Andrew stares at her, unblinking, as the gears turned in his head and he slowly figured it out._

_“Mack… you’re… you’re a—,”_

_“Please don’t say it,” she whimpers. “I’m already hurting so much.”_

_“Now everything makes sense,” He says gently, realizing why Mack’s father pressured them to be together. He was Mack’s first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. But it wasn’t a happy relationship—Mack was with him against her will. “Hey. It’s okay. Everything’s okay, Mack. I’m not mad at you.”_

_“D-don’t touch me,” She cried, when he tried to reach out to her. “P-please. I don’t want to be touched.” She let out a shaky breath, “I really need to be with Cassie right now.”_

_Andrew smiles in understanding. “I’ll walk you out.”_

_“I can find my way just fine, thank you.” She glares at him, and with an anxious huff, runs out of the house. She didn’t care that Mathew was still with Cassie. She needed her. So, when she hurried into their home, crying and anxious and shaken, she whimpered out a plea for Cassie to hold her._

_Her best friend paused the movie and immediately went to comfort her best friend, much to Mathew’s displeasure, but she paid him no mind. She held Mack, caressing her back and whispering soothing words of love into her ear. She didn’t ask what was wrong. She didn’t pressure her to say anything. All she did was hold Mack until the young woman fell asleep in her arms, and they cuddled in bed together, where they both belonged._

   Mack woke up with a start. She let out a small whimper, feeling the bed sheets beside her empty, and then feared for a hot second she was living in that false reality.

         “C-Cassie?” Mack called, half asleep, her heart heavy.

               A moment passed.

  “Baby,” Her girlfriend soothed, and then the bed dipped beside her and she cradled her, “Hey. Shh. It was a nightmare. I’m here now, love.”

      “Oh thank fuck,” Mack grumbled, burying her face in Cassie’s chest.

            “I just got up to brush my teeth and get ready for the day. You know I’m a morning bird.” Cassie eases, gently caressing Mack’s face. “What’s the matter?”

              “Just a shitty dream,” Mack shook her head, “Please hold me.”

    “Always.” Cassie hums, placing a gentle kiss on Mack’s forehead.

                   “Cassie…” Mack begins hesitantly, gazing at her, “Are you happy with me?”

       A loving smile danced on her lips, “I have never been so happy or more in love with anyone in my entire life.” She replies, “You keep me so warm, Mack. I feel so safe with you.”

      Tears sprung in Mack’s eyes, “Because sometimes I feel so nervous that I’m so inexperienced with this type of thing, and you’re put off by it. I… I have so many insecurities, Cassie, that I fear one day you’ll lose patience with me and this won’t work out.”

       “Mackenzie Leanne Wilson,” Cassie glares at her, narrowing her eyes, “You have waited seventeen years for me. Only recently I discovered my sexuality because I realized my heart belonged to you right from the start. Yes, we had our struggles and went through hell together, but look at where we are now. I have faith that whatever happens next, we can get through together. And yes, I’m… sometimes anxious and scared too. But the strong points in this relationship is that we know how to communicate. We tell each other what our triggers are, what we feel comfortable with, what we’re not ready for. And I’m ready for you, my love. Only if you are ready to have me.”

    Taken aback by her speech, Mack let out a cry and reached out to tackle her, causing them both to fall onto the bed.

       “I’m just in shock that I finally get to call you mine, I’m so sorry,” She babbles, wiping her eyes. Cassie giggles in reply.

     “Well, it is our two-week anniversary,” she smiles, “The shock hasn’t worn off for me yet either.”

      “Are we going to be THAT couple?” Mack giggles, tilting her head at Cassie. “Celebrating every milestone with a big bang?”

        “I’ve always wanted to have that.” Her girlfriend replies, “And now I get to share every memory with you.” Her eyes widen in excitement, “Ooh! Can we also do that with our future kid? Like when they turn one month old we’ll throw a huge ass party?”

       “Oh my god, we haven’t even been on a date yet and we’re talking about _kids_ ,” Mack laughs, and then her eyes widen, realizing what she said was out loud and not in her head.

          “In all technicality, we’ve been married for the last decade. It’s only fair,” she rubs noses with Mack. “But I think that before we start planning for a baby, I’d like to take you out on a date first.”

       Mack sighs with relief, leaning into her embrace. “You’re so good to me.”

          “I’m in awe that I have the chance now to plan our future together,” Cassie beams, tears glistening in her eyes, “A future where we’re in love.”

       “I can’t wait.” Mack lets out an anxious breath, her hands nervously clasping Cassie’s, “What do yah say we start that future this weekend? Friday night? Date night at _La Luna Italia_?”

         “Classy,” her girlfriend replies, kissing her softly. “I’m so proud of you.” 

   Mack doesn’t say anything in reply. She just smiles, her heart racing, thanking her lucky stars for the beautiful woman she was grateful to have in her life. 

        As the week drone on, the more nervous Mack became about her and Cassie’s upcoming date. She felt like she was fifteen all over again, scared about asking Cassie to junior prom because no one wanted to be their dates. Granted, at the time Cassie knew little of Mack’s inner turmoil with her feelings, so the scenario was different.

       She found herself in awe once again, that it’s only been two weeks, and she finally got to call Cassie her girlfriend. That she finally got to experience what being in love was like with your best friend in the healthiest way.

          She no longer had to force herself to imagine a world where she was in love with someone else, someone that wasn’t Cassie.

     Her heart was happy, free, at peace.

That thought alone always made her nearly burst into tears, she couldn’t believe it. 

       She was so proud of Cassie. After all these years, the gal finally figured out that her one true love was always waiting right next door for her.

             Mack let out a content sigh and blinked, twice, when she realized she was sitting beside her dear friend Elliot. It was Friday afternoon, and they were having a lunch date before class started.

      “Earth to Mack,” Elliot teased, giving her a kind smile. “You’re thinking about Cassie again.”

           “Huh?”  The young woman sputtered, blushing.

  “You have this happy smile on your face, that I always know who you reserve it for,” she rolls her eyes, “You’re so in love it’s actually disgusting.”

       “Hey!” Mack exclaims, “You’re my new best friend, you should be happy for me!”

  “I am, but literally anything you talk about these days is how much you love Cassie, or when she does something so ridiculously adorable that you can’t function,” she snickers, “You’re such a helpless lesbian.”

       “And you need to get laid,” Mack snaps playfully, “When’s the last time you’ve been on a date?”

        Elliot shoved her, “…three years.” Mack gave her a pointed look. “I’m… perfectly fine, being on my own. No squishy feelings of regret here.”

           “Cassie and I will find you a girlfriend,” Mack pats her leg, “It’s the least we can do since you helped us get together.”

        Elliot rolls her eyes and laughs, “Thanks, you’re entirely too sweet, Mack.” She then smirks, “Speaking of dates, are you excited about yours?”

        It was Mack’s turn to blush, as she picked at her sandwich. “Y-yeah, I am. But I’m really nervous for some stupid reason too.”

       “Of course that’s not stupid,” Elliot smiles, giving her shoulder a gentle nudge, “It’s your first date with the woman you’re in love with. Kinda intimidating, don’t you think? You want everything to go perfectly well and you want her to have a good time with you.”

         “I’m also nervous about another thing, but I’m so worried it’s too soon,” Mack sighs, running a nervous hand through her hair, “I want to have sex with her, but I don’t want to pressure her into something she isn’t ready for.”

          “There’s too much pressure on sex that it’s supposedly this one grand, gesture of love. Sure, you give your significant other the consent to touch your body in a way no one else would, but sex is way to hyped in media these days,” Elliot reasons, patting Mack’s shoulder, “Listen, kiddo. Don’t be so nervous about it. Don’t force it to be this grand romantic thing. Play it by ear and if she’s in the mood she’ll let you know. You two have really good communication skills, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

        “I-I hope so.” Mack worries, tears glistening in her eyes.

  “Oh come here, nerd.” Elliot chuckles, pulling her friend into a hug. “I’m so happy for you, d’yah know that?” Mack sniffs and nods. “Everything is going to be fine.”

      They held each other for another moment, until Mack’s phone alarm chimed, signaling that it was time for class. They broke apart, smiling at each other, laughing softly.

       For the first time in a week, Mack felt at ease.    

                                                             

         It was finally Friday evening when Mack came home from classes, and called excitedly out to her girlfriend. “Honey! I’m home!”

        “In our office!” She replies, her voice cheerful. They had a separate office where Cassie could work on her art and designs for fashion. Mack only needed space to keep her own computer, she didn’t mind sharing it with Cassie.

        They shared everything regardless.

             Without another word, Mack plopped her backpack onto the floor and sat herself on Cassie’s lap, causing her girlfriend to yelp in surprise. She wrapped her arms around Cassie’s waist and, happily, pressed her face against Cassie’s boobs.

        “Hey,” She chimes with a giggle. “Long day?”

                “You have no idea,” Mack mumbled softly, nuzzling her cheeks on her boobs, feeling safe and warm.

       “Oh my god, you are such a lesbian.” Cassie smiles, caressing her fingers through Mack’s hair, “Did you miss my boobs that much?”

       “They’re so soft,” Mack says, her voice muffled. “So cuddly and nice and warm. I love snuggling up to you.” Cassie hums in agreement and laughs at her. “What!” Mack let out a sputter, “I’m sorry, I never realized how touch-starved I actually was until you confessed your love for me!”

           Cassie hummed, “That is true, the first time we kissed you started crying,” she giggles, smiling down at Mack’s hands where they comfortably held her breasts. “It’s a welcome change, my love. Never be embarrassed by this.” She then cupped Mack’s cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss.

     Mack left a trail of kisses down Cassie’s neck, her hands traveling down to Cassie’s waist, positioning herself so that her butt was fully on Cassie’s lap.

       Cassie pulled away, smirking at Mack and placing a finger to her lips, “I need to study for my exam before we head out so I’m not stressing over it on our date night. Could you be a dear and head out while I work on this?” 

      Mack pouts, “C-Cass—,” she whines, giving her girlfriend a pleading look.      

           “Give me an hour, okay darling? Then we’ll get ready and head out.” She promised, rubbing noses with her.

     Grumbling softly to herself, she hopped off Cassie, and head over to her bedroom—which quickly became  _their_ bedroom, over the last two months, since Mack’s coming out and their finally getting together—and put on some music to chill out with. Letting out a gentle sigh, she hoped Cassie was internally just as nervous as she was for this.     

                                                                   

* * *

 

        Cassie was nervous. There was no questioning it. All day, she kept on spiraling in her mind of all the things that could possibly go wrong. It was her first date with Mack and she wanted everything to be perfect.

      Not to mention, she’s noticed how handsy Mack has gotten and wondered if her girlfriend wanted to take things a step further. The anxious gleam in her eyes, the way her hands often trailed down to her waist, or the way each touch felt like an urgent plea, Cassie had never been so sure that Mack was trying to tell her something.

       Her heart couldn’t help but compare this to when she first started dating Mathew, which felt like years ago now. She wasn’t ready to give her virginity to him their first year, and begged him to wait. And when they did finally have sex, Cassie didn’t realize the emptiness in her heart until much later, understanding now her very soul wanted to wait so she could be Mack’s first time. But her mind was confused and she didn’t know how she wanted Mack in her life. Mathew was safe—easy, what her family wanted. Mathew loved her and took care of her.

      Cassie tried to remember a day where she was in love with Mathew, and she realized she couldn’t find one. Her heart, even though it now beats strong and true for her beloved Mack, had always belonged to her.      

     She swore to never take any day from here on out for granted, and make sure Mack gets all the love she deserves. They waited so long for each other. It was only fair.

         Cassie let out a resounding sigh, checking her outfit in the mirror. Yes, she’d be a fool if she never admitted that she wanted her and Mack to make love. Was it too soon? Had they gone on dates before, she wouldn’t have been so worried, and yet now…

         She heard a sniffle from their shared bathroom interrupt her thoughts, and worriedly came in to see how Mack was doing.

         “Darling?” She asks, peeking in. Mack was on the floor, a pile of clothes surrounding her.

   “Fuck, I have nothing sexy to wear,” she sputters, shaking her head, “The ONE night I want to look hot for you, and I have nothing!”

           “We’re just going out for a bit, love. I wouldn’t mind whatever you chose to wear,” Cassie says, leaning in to her ear a gentle kiss.  “It’s beautiful how you want to put effort in the way you dress tonight.”

       “I look like trash every other day,” Mack rolls her eyes, pointing to her clothes, “Flannel, flannel, sweatpants, snapback, flannel—oh look, another pair of sweatpants!” She then flails her arm around, “How will anyone ever know I’m a lesbian?!”

          “Shocking,” Cassie teases, giving her cheeks a kiss, “Now come on, what’s really bothering you?”

       Mack grew quiet. Absentmindedly, her hands found Cassie’s, and she rubbed her fingers against her knuckles.

       “Cassie,” she began quietly, resting her head on her breasts, “Do you remember that night, when I came home crying after hanging out with Andrew?”

          “You really scared me then, my love. I mean, I got the gist of what happened from your blubbering, but I had to cancel my time with Mathew,” Cassie frowned, “It was probably for the best, we were fighting prior to when you came.”  

          “About what?” Mack asked, feeling protective of her girlfriend.

   Cassie rolled her eyes, “Oh, something dumb. I forget now.” She then poked Mack’s nose, “Stop changing the subject.”

         “W-well, I was crying because… because, Andrew wanted to have sex with me,” she shuddered, hiding her face in Cassie, “And I wasn’t ready. I-I told him to stop.”

        “And did he?” Cassie replies, tightening her grip on Mack’s. _I swear, if that boy ever touched Mack in a place she wasn’t comfortable with, I will find him and—_

   “Thank god, he listened to me and stopped, b-but I got so scared. I-I never loved him, Cassie. I’d rather die than give him my virginity. I wanted to save myself for you,” She whispered, blushing, her eyes glistening with tears. “I wanted, e-even though at the time I feared there would never be a day where you would fall in love with me, I wanted the benefit of the doubt in wishing that you would be my first.” She hid her face again, “Every touch, every kiss, every time I hung out with Andrew, I felt like I was cheating on you.” 

      “Shh, easy, Mack,” Cassie soothes, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend tightly and comforting her. Tears glistened in her own eyes as she realized the severity of this situation—all this time, Mack was saving her virginity for Cassie. Something that’s so precious and means so much to her—and she wants Cassie to have it?

          “I love you,” was all she could say, giving gentle kisses all across Mack’s face, “Oh, Mack, I love you so much. Y-you wanted to save yourself for me?” She asks tearfully, just to confirm.   

      “You’re the only woman I’ll ever trust with my body,” she assures, “I waited all this time for you.” She then giggled weakly, “No pressure.”

        They cried together for a moment, holding each other. To anyone else, it would seem odd to treat this situation so delicately, but to Cassie and Mack it was special. Cassie wanted to ensure she had Mack’s consent, and that they were both on the same page. Her heart grew three sizes for the girl—no, _young woman_ —sitting before her; she’d come such a long way.

      “Well then,” Cassie huffs after a while, wiping her eyes, “I doubt what you put on matters at this point. Since I’ll be taking everything off later.” She winks, hoping that it sounded sexy to Mack’s ears.     

     Mack’s cheeks turned redder than a tomato. Score.

  “Is that a threat or a promise?” She asks in reply, beaming.

               Cassie gives her a loving smile. Gently, she cups Mack’s cheek and presses their lips together for a languid, passionate kiss. “I promise the music will be worth the wait.” She says, resting their foreheads together, “It’s only fair that you’re treated like a queen tonight. After all those years you’ve waited for me.”

              “Thank you, Cassie.” Mack sighs heavenly, leaning into her touch. No longer nervous, Mack got ready for the evening, and Cassie left her so she could change in private.  

 

      They were several minutes late to their reservation, but Cassie didn’t mind. Mack needed time to compose herself and get ready. When she finally arrived, Cassie smiled lovingly at her. She wore jeans this time, that had a hole in front but fit her nicely. She wore a black top that even showed a bit of cleavage. Cassie was the one who loved to dress up and splurge on outfits, meanwhile Mack didn’t care to put in effort how she looked. Regardless, Mack looked beautiful tonight. She even put her hair up in a braid.

        “You look gorgeous,” Cassie praised, getting up from the couch and wrapping her arms around Mack. “See? I told you, you’d find something.”  

      “Thank you for waiting,” she uttered shyly, “I’m ready to go.”

                “I called an Uber—they’re here for us.” 

       Mack smiled and reached for Cassie’s hand. Cassie grabbed her purse and they walked out of their home, into the busy streets of Toronto.

        “Hey, I remember you,” chimed the driver, smiling at Cassie. “What’d I tell yah? Everything turned out alright, didn’t it?”

        Cassie smiles back, giving a kiss on Mack’s cheek. “Yeah. Alright indeed.” Mack curiously gazed at them, but nonetheless snuggled up to her as they drove to the restaurant.

         When they finally arrived, they ordered their burritos and dinner at the counter and then sat in a booth, coincidentally across from Elliot and Levi. Cassie rolled her eyes at their friends, pretending not to notice that they were dressed in disguise. She knew they meant well, but honestly, she just wanted some time alone with her beloved.

                 “I can’t believe we’re graduating in a month.” Said Mack, gathering Cassie’s attention. “These last four years went by so fast.”

       “Hard to believe we’re like, almost adults now,” Cassie shook her head, “Before we only had to worry about handing in late night assignments or completing projects. Now, we… have to actually look for jobs.”

            “Especially when it comes the time for us to raise a family together,” Mack agrees, blushing adorably, “We need to have decent paying jobs that’ll help take care of our little baby.”

         “How far into the future are we talking?” Cassie asks, eager, “Because I’m so glad we get to openly talk about this now—but without our respective partners; with _each other_.”

         Mack smiles lovingly and reaches out to take Cassie’s hand, “Give or take… five years? We’re both twenty-two now, so. We’d both be twenty-seven. Not to soon and not too late either.”

          “I love that you’re so eager to have a baby with me,” Cassie says, tears threatening to fall from her eyes, “I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom, and have a loving family, but this is the first time where I get to prepare for that experience with you!”

       “Well, you’re stuck with me, kid. You and me for the next… seventy odd years.” Mack giggles, and when their food came, Mack raised her glass, “Cheers, my love. I hope to go on fifty more first dates with you.”

     “Fuck Mack, stop referencing my favorite movies. I hate crying,” She snaps playfully, making her girlfriend smile even wider. “Cheers.” She replies, clinking glasses.

      They had a wonderful evening together, laughing and chatting as the awkwardness slowly drifted away. Levi finally made his appearance as he plopped himself beside Cassie, while Elliot scooted towards Mack.

        “Hey bitch!” Levi says happily, slinging an arm around Cassie, “What’re you doing here?”

   “On a date with my girlfriend, which you’re clearly interrupting.” She replied grumpily, to which Mack giggled at her.    

     “Oops, did we interrupt? So sad,” Levi gasps, and then took a sip of Cassie’s drink, “We just happened to be in the area.”

      “We were stalking you.” Elliot corrects, shrugging, “Levi here was worried and wanted to make sure everything was okay between you two.”

        “Aw, Levi,” Mack giggles, smiling at their dear friend, “You have nothing to worry about. We were just talking about kids and then making love later.”  

         Levi snorted into his drink and started to cough, “That is way too much information I didn’t need.”  

      “You asked.” Cassie smirks at him, and then winked at Mack. “Hey, want to flirt with me so obnoxiously to the point where they leave us?”  

           “Oh my god, Cassie, you look so pretty in that romper tonight. It really compliments your eyes.” Mack gushes.

      “Thank you, love. I adore how you spent the time to put up your hair. You look so cute.”

              “I can’t believe that now I finally get to compliment you and that I make you blush.”

     “I can’t wait for when there’s colder nights in the winter and I just get to snuggle with you by the fire and we get to watch the snow fall.” 

         “Aah!” Levi exclaims, holding his head, “You two are so in love it’s gross! I can’t handle it! Too much gay!” 

       “You wanted this, idiot.” Elliot rolls her eyes.

                   “I’ve created a monster,” Levi shudders, making all three girls laugh. He then pats Cassie’s shoulder, his face serious, “But in all seriousness, you two are great, right?”

           “I’ve never been so happy in my entire life, Levi.” Cassie reveals, touched by his concern. “I’m so in love with her.”       

           “Aw, babe,” She then giggles and turns to Elliot, “Would you believe that there was a time where Cassie was jealous because she thought we were together?”

         “Mackie!” Cassie sputters, glaring, “I thought we agreed we’d never speak of that!”

  “And she got like, super pissed. I was really worried about you.”

              “Never. Speak. Of. It.”   

    “Honey, you were crying on a park bench because you thought Mack was replacing you,” Levi snickers, “It was an iconic moment.”

        “It was when I first realized my crush I had on her, leave me alone.” Cassie mumbled, covering her face with her hands.

          “Aw, baby, you had a crush on me?”

  “Darling. We’re practically _married_.”  

            “Still. That’s embarrassing.”

    Huffing, Cassie playfully flung a French fry at Mack. In return, Mack gave her a wink and blew her a kiss. 

     Levi let out an exaggerated whine, “It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall. Honestly, lets hit the town Elliot. Find you a hot date. All these two are going to do is compliment each other and then watch the discovery channel when they get home.”   

     “That sounds like my kinda jam, if I’m honest.”

              Levi turns to Elliot with a glare, “Don’t turn into your stereotype. Don’t become a U-Haul lesbian. _Don’t become them_.”

             “I never said I wanted to do that with anyone!”   

     Mack looks at her with pity, “Honestly Eli, you’re so single you complain about how lonely you are like… every day.” She then pats her shoulder, “You’re in good hands with Levi.”    

           “So long, nerds. We’re going to do something that’s actuallyfun,” Their best friend announces, grabbing Elliot by the arm. “If you ever want to join us call me I’ll send you an Uber!” 

        “Nah, we’re good, because I’ll be _doing_ Cassie later!” Mack calls out, waving their friends goodbye. Her girlfriend coughs and sputters out her drink, realizing the innuendo. 

         “You’re really making it hard for me to stop myself from ripping all those clothes off you,” Cassie weakly manages, “And we haven’t even gotten to desert yet.”

           Mack snickers, “What? You’re a classy lady. You like being taken out on dates. I’m only following the rules.” 

       “I like being classy,” Cassie grumbles. They then burst into giggles, loud, boisterous laughter that felt so freeing. When they finally settled, Cassie and Mack smiled lovingly at each other, and they both silently agreed they were both ready. Whatever happened next, they’d treat each other with the utmost care and respect.

    Cassie felt as if the universe was falling back into place.  
  

* * *

 

             When Cassie and Mack arrived back home, they wasted no time hurrying over to their bedroom. Cassie closed the door behind them, grasping Mack’s hand and leading her towards the bed. She could feel her girlfriends’ hands shaking under her touch, and soothingly rubbed her skin.    

        They silently stared at each other, Mack’s eager, yet concerned gaze burning into Cassie’s soul.

       “If there’s ever a moment where you feel uncomfortable, please tell me.” She whispers, leaning their foreheads together.    

     Mack mutely nodded. “So, c-can I… kiss you now?”

          “Of course,” Cassie smiles, taking a piece of hair out of her eyes, “I’m sure we’re past the point where you need to ask.” 

      And so Mack did. It was soft, hesitant, but oh so loving.  

           Cassie leaned in closer, helping her out, cupping her face in her hands and letting out a soft moan. It was amazing how far they’ve come since the beginning of this year—Cassie was still in a relationship with her boyfriend, stuck in a low paying internship that she hated, and Mack was unsure of her future and struggled to come out to her family. They were both suffering; Mack physically while Cassie was mentally, and relied on each other to get through those hard times.

    Mack’s past self would have a field day if she knew what was about to happen now.    

          The adorable giggles that escaped Mack’s lips after every kiss caused Cassie to internally swoon, and hold onto her beloved even tighter. Cassie’s hands fell down to Mack’s waist and tugged at her pants, silently asking if she was comfortable with them coming off. Mack let out a grunt of approval, leaning against the bed and placing her hands on the fluffy sheets, feeling the sparks shoot up her skin as Cassie undressed her.       

           Cassie’s hands then trailed up Mack’s belly and then took off her shirt, flinging it onto the floor besides Mack’s pants and shoes. Heat pooled in Cassie’s stomach at Mack’s bare shoulder and had the sudden urge to kiss it, and so she leaned forward, biting the skin first before peppering the swollen area with kisses. 

    Mack moans. Okay. So that was a good thing. That’s a happy reaction, right?

      Suddenly Mack had the strength to turn around and pushed Cassie onto the bed so that way she was underneath her. Cassie’s hair was tangled underneath the pillows, her hands grasping onto Mack’s neck for a sense of stability.      

     Urgently, Mack pulled Cassie in for a passionate kiss, hands grasping at her boobs.

           “C-can I be on top?” Cassis asks boldly, as each kiss becomes more heated and needy.  “I feel like it’s only fair.”

          “You don’t owe me anything but your love, whatever way it happens.”  Mack assures.

    “I _want_ to be on top.” Cassie says with such finality, Mack gapes at her. Whenever Mathew and Cassie had sex, she was always stuck on the bottom, and rarely felt satisfied. Now at least she knows why.   

      “Okay,” Mack whispers, and then gives her another kiss. They switch, Cassie straddling Mack with her legs, as her hands become lost in Mack’s hair.    

      Her girlfriend then helps take her romper off (which probably wasn’t a good choice of clothing) and reveals her breasts, to which Mack gapes in awe at their beauty. 

          “These are both yours to touch.” Cassie husks, grinding her hips into Mack, her fumbling hands grasping at Mack’s own breasts.

       “C-can you touch _mine_?” Mack begs, and closing her eyes.   

    As an answer, Cassie pulled her in for a kiss before she fumbled to take off her bra, revealing Mack’s soft skin. Her nipples were already sore and aching for Cassie.    

            Cassie blinked for a second, trying to steady her nerves, until she realized this was the first time she’d ever seen a girls’ boobs and had the urge to kiss them hungrily. Determined to ensure that Mack enjoys this special time they share together, Cassie starts to rub around the nipple, feeling how hard it is, enjoying the grunts and moans escaping from Mack’s mouth.

           “ _Cassie_!” Mack whines, and that was all the confirmation she needed. Swallowing, Cassie wrapped her lips around Mack’s nipple and sucked on them, and then releasing her mouth to kiss the outside skin. She then leaves a trial of kisses down her stomach, making sure that each patch of skin is covered in her love bites.  

          Cassie gasped at how wet Mack’s panties were, and took them off gently. Getting a confirming nod from Mack, she slowly teased the outside of Mack’s clit with one finger. How much were you supposed to put in anyway? One? Two? Cassie wasn’t exactly sure, but she could hear Levi screaming “play it safe” in the back of her mind and decided that one was safe enough for now. 

     Taking a deep breath, she gently pushed in her finger once she found the opening and the little surprised yelp that came from Mack made everything worth it.

      “Oh my god,” She whimpers, and Cassie looked up to see Mack gripping all the pillows. “Please. Keep touching me there, Cass.” She spread her legs out further.

            Swallowing thickly, Cassie moved her finger in deeper, feeling around Mack’s clit, an indescribable feeling coursing through her soul.    

    This was her best friend, writhing in pleasure underneath her.

          Her girlfriend.

    Her fiancée.

             Her lover.

           Her wife.

  Her _soulmate_.

          She was lucky, to have been blessed to be with such a beautiful woman. Whatever unseen god watched over her was feeling merciful and gave Mack to her. In every universe, Cassie was certain she’d have Mack by her side. Whether as friends, lovers, or sisters, Mack’s soul belonged to Cassie’s. And there was no questioning that in this universe, Mack was put here beside Cassie to be her life partner. To bare children together. To grow old together.    

        Oh, how she loved being in love.

   “Cassie!” Mack whimpers, bringing Cassie back to reality, “I’m going to come.”

               She slowly eased her fingers out of Mack, noticing how the sheets between them were very damp, and then leaned in to kiss Mack, her shaking hands loosing their way in Mack’s hair again. She then rests their foreheads together, placing a comforting hand on Mack’s chest to feel her heart racing. Mack yelped softly as her nails dug into Cassie’s skin, and then she collapsed onto their bed.     

     Cassie chuckles at her, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her head on Mack’s warm breasts. The sound of Mack’s heart racing a mile a minute still amazed Cassie that it was beating only for her. That they had done it. That against all odds facing them, Cassie and Mack pulled through, falling in love for the first time. 

       It wasn’t until Mack started humming softly and caressing her hair that Cassie realized she was crying and propped her chin up so she could stare at Mack’s face. 

          “Why are you crying?” Mack asked with a sniffle of her own, gently cupping her face.

    “Because I just received your virginity. Something that you’ve been saving for me for a long time,” she babbles, “For the first time in your life you _came_. A-and you came to _me_.” 

          “I waited halfway for yah,” she gave Cassie a gentle kiss on her nose, “It was worth it, baby.” That only made Cassie cry even more as she buried her face into Mack’s breasts, hugging her close.  

       “You’re my whole world, Mackie.” She whispered softly, once she’d calmed down and Mack came back from her respective high.   

        “You’re my whole world too, Cass.” Mack grinned. She noticed Cassie running her hands down Mack’s legs, eagerly and anxiously waiting for permission to touch again. “Ready for round two?”

         “God. Lesbians are pigs,” Cassie groaned, blushing. “But you’re not wrong. I want to—t-try—again.”  

          “Go ahead.” She nodded.  

          “You’re so wet for me already.” The young woman moaned.

     Mack bit her lower lip in trepidation as she stared up at her glow in the dark stars, a part of her finding them only slightly embarrassing, until she remembered Cassie helped put them up all those years ago. Looking down as Cassie blissfully maneuvered her way inside of her, and she came several more times, she reasoned with herself that despite the hardships she’d had in her life, she was blessed to have shared every single memory with Cassie.

       Especially this one.


	7. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mathew makes an unexpected visit to the girls, and finds closure after being estranged for months. Cassie and Mack come out to Cassie's parents.

 

 

 

> **_“It's a hard concept to hold on to--the idea that there was a time before us. A time before time. In the beginning there was nothing. And then there was everything.”_** -Everything, Everything 
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

      Mack woke up to the sound of someone pounding on their front door, and she grunted tiredly. She propped herself on her elbows and shook her head from her blissful sleep, wanting nothing more than to curl up with Cassie. She blinked and smiled lovingly when she realized the both of them were stark naked, and the events of hours before came flooding back to her.    

    They had done it. After all the hell they went through, Cassie and Mack finally made love. Mack had achieved her dream of giving her virginity to the only woman she’d ever love in this lifetime. Whoever was pounding at their door at 3 in the morning, they were going to hell. 

        “Baby, be careful,” Cassie mumbles, sleepily reaching out for Mack’s bare arm. “Who knows what kind of psycho is out there. I don’t want them to hurt you.”

        “If they try to, I’ll call the police,” she assures, giving Cassie’s nose a kiss, “And plus, I took ten years of gymnastics I am a weapon.”

         Cassie opened her eyes, her face written in concern, “Come back to me.” 

  “Always.” Mack assures, caressing her cheek. She then takes a deep breath and quickly throws on a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top, hurrying down the hall and into their living room.    

          The pounding continued, slicing fear into Mack’s heart. “I’m _coming_.” She uttered, realizing the cheeky innuendo and rolled her eyes at herself. The universe hated her.

              She then warily gripped the door knob and pulled it ajar, poking her head out. She gasped at who was on the other side.

             “Mathew?” She exclaimed, taking in his tattered appearance. He had clearly seen better days. His hair was worn and matted, his eyes were red, and he had that ever present scowl on his face that Mack despised. She then composed herself, and said, “You have two seconds to explain why you’re here at this Godforsaken hour or else I’m calling the police.”

           “Where’s Cassie?” He asks, his voice tired and strained. “I need to talk to her.”

    “Whatever you need to say to Cassie, you have to get it through me first.”

                “What the fuck is your problem, Mack?” Mathew growls, clenching his fists, “I have never wronged you. I just need to speak to Cassie.”  

            “You TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME,” Mack exploded, her emotions finally caving in, “For the last three years, I watched, in pain, as you fell in love with her and never one tried to become friends with me. You treated me like trash, Mathew. You thought of me as this wasted space that got in-between you and Cassie. Don’t think I never caught on to those dirty looks or subtweets. Or how you rolled your eyes whenever I said something. I LOST Cassie because she turned into someone I didn’t recognize when she was with you! But did that ever stop me from loving her? NEVER!”

     There was a creak in the floor behind her. Mathew’s eyes widened in harsh realization. She felt a comforting hand placed on her shoulder.

           “Cassie,” Mathew said with relief, “What the fuck is she saying?”

                    “You know damn well, Mathew,” Cassie sneers, placing her cheek on Mack’s shoulder. “We’re in love.”    

           “Shit,” Mathew curses, slamming his fist against the wall. “There goes my big proposal to try and get you back in my life.”   

         “I think we all need to go inside and talk about this civilly. If we argue out here I don’t want to disrupt the neighbors.” Cassie announces, opening up the door wider for Mathew.

         “C-Cassie, I’m scared, he’s unstable.” Mack whimpers.

   “If we don’t get around to talking about this then when?” Cassie asks, squeezing her shoulder. “Sit yourself on the couch, Mathew. We’ll join you in a minute.” Cassie pulled Mack into their kitchen as Mathew trudged through their hallway, a look of remorse on his face. When he collapsed on the couch, Mack held onto Cassie tighter than before.

          “How much of that did you hear?” She mumbles.

   “Enough to understand,” Cassie says, rubbing the small of her back. “Mack, I had never known you wanted to confess your love for me that night. Had Levi or you told me, and by some miracle I realized who I am, I wouldn’t have thought twice about going near Mathew. And you wouldn’t have gone through that hell those three years in waiting for me.” She hummed, rubbing Mack’s shaking hands to try and soothe them. “But you know what, my love?”

          “What?” Mack asks tearfully.

    “I don’t regret anything. Because being with Mathew led me to falling in love with you,” Cassie assures, giving Mack a kiss, “He was just a bridge I needed to cross over.” Mack huffed, unable to wipe the smile that was on her face and she took a deep breath. “I need you to be brave for me, baby. We need to do this.”

        “Okay.” She agrees, and reaching for her hand, they walked out of their kitchen and into the living room.

            They sat together on the couch besides Mathew, holding hands, gazing at him warily.

     “Why are you here, Mathew?” Cassie begins, rubbing Mack’s knuckles to soothe her.

                       “I broke up with Tasha.” He sighs, “We met at a bar through some mutual friends, and… I started dating her because I wanted to take my mind off you.”

           “Why the fuck would you associate with someone without a brain?” Mack blurts, and Cassie snorts. She shoves her shoulder.

         Mathew grew silent. “I figured she was what I deserved.” He says, drawing out a low breath. “After losing you, I… wasn’t thinking straight. I thought you were angry at me because I was doing something _wrong_. Why did you leave me, Cassie?” 

        Cassie’s hands were shaking. Mack grasped them tight, leaning her head on Cassie’s shoulder. “I told you why, Mathew. I wasn’t ready for marriage. And I especially didn’t want to experience that chapter of life with you. My heart wouldn’t allow it.”

        “Because you’re in love with Mack.” He says slowly, as if he couldn’t believe it.

   “I didn’t realize it at the time, my feelings took a while to resurface,” she chuckled softly, “Poor Mackie had to wait nearly two decades for me,” she then turns to Mathew, “and I know this must be strange for you to see. I know that you must be hurting right now.”

             “Do you regret anything? What we had?”

      “Of course not,” Cassie replies, “I never wanted to cut you out of my life, Mathew. But I needed to so I could sort out my emotions and how I feel. And now I know you were only meant to be in my life for a little while.”

          Tears glistened in Mathew’s eyes and it broke Mack, as she finally saw the man for what he was: a broken soul. “You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Cassie.”

          “Retweet.” Mack says quietly.

   “I know. But we were never meant to be in this universe. Perhaps in another, but my heart is bound to my one true love,” Cassie says thickly, reaching out for Mathew’s hand, “Please, all this time I feared you were mad at me. Were you?”

            “I’m not… I’m not _mad_ ,” Mathew sighs, “Disappointed? Confused, maybe? I thought we were hurdling towards something. I guess I had my love goggles on and didn’t really see what you were feeling. That night… when you left…” he shook his head, “I remembered going into shock. The woman whom I was certain was the love of my life walked out on me and I didn’t know what to do. After that you never called me, texted me. I felt abandoned.”

            Cassie shook. Mack held her, glancing at her worriedly, knowing those words were a trigger. “You didn’t deserve that. I-I know apologizes wouldn’t make sense now, but I’m so sorry Matt.” 

      “I’m sorry for taking Cassie away from you Mack, I never meant any malice towards you because I loved her,” Mathew says weakly, turning to Mack now. “I’m sorry that you felt sad and hated me because I stole your best friend from you.”  

        “You have nothing to apologize for, I was the one who was a bitch,” Mack admits, “I let out my hatred and regret for not coming out to Cassie distract me from getting to know you as a person. That wasn’t fair at all.” she let out a distressed sigh.  

       They all stared at each other for a long moment. Then, they all finally burst into tears and Cassie reached over to hug Mathew, closing the gap between them. Mack watched on, her heart fluttering in her chest as she finally felt closure after all these years.   

         Cassie then hold’s Mathew’s face in her hands, giving him a gentle smile, “I don’t regret the time we spent together. You were my first love, the first guy that I admired and longed to have a serious relationship with. You treated me with kindness and loved me with all that you could—but you helped me realize that even though I do need you in my life, I don’t need you in the romantic sense. You were meant to be with me on this Earth as a guide, to lead me to my best friend; back to my home. I love you, Mathew. But at least now I know how to love you—as a brother. If you’ll have me as a sister.” 

         “All this time I feared—th-that after you walked out, you’d never want to see me again.”  Mathew blubbered.

       “For a time, yes. I did hate you and I was angry at you,” she sighs, wiping her eyes, “but then I realized that was no way to end a relationship and we needed to talk, so I’m kind of glad you barged in unannounced.”

         Mack tilts her head, “Kind of ironic that he came here after we made love for the first time.” 

       Mathew turned beat red, “That’s a bit of information I didn’t need to know, but thanks for sharing,” he shudders, and both girls giggled, “It’s even more ironic that my ex turns out to be a lesbian.”

          “Bisexual, actually,” Cassie replies, and Mack beams proudly. “I’m attracted to men because of you and then I’m attracted to women because of Mack. Took me nearly half my life to figure it out, but it’s not rocket science.” 

         “And you, Mack?”

   “Oh, I’ve had a big ol’ lesbian crush on Cassie for my whole life so it’s safe to say I’m attracted to vagina. I mean boobs. I mean— _girls_.”

               “Loving PSA: not all girls have boobs or vaginas, Mack, remember.” Cassie chastises her, hitting her shoulder playfully. Mathew looked a bit lost.  

          “You’re really great at sex.” Mack anxiously blurts, fiddling with her hands, hoping that was better.     

          There was an awkward pause. Mathew coughs, rubbing his hands together. Cassie rolls her eyes. He then turns his sorrowful gaze to Cassie, “I really am sorry, Cassie. About everything. About pressuring you with something you weren’t ready for.”    

         “We can’t change the past no matter how many wishes we’re granted,” Cassie sighs, “But we can move forward and start over.”

        “That’s fair.” Mack agrees, smiling gently at Mathew.

She then extended her hand, “Friends?”

            “Friends.” Mathew smiles, taking her hand. Cassie sighs with content, her heart singing now that her two favorite humans were getting along. She was so lucky. 

       “For what its worth, I… I’m glad I met you, Cassie.” Mathew says, suddenly shy.

   “I am too,” she smiles, placing a hand on his shoulder, “And one day you’ll find a love who will treat you better than I ever could.”

         “Thank you.” He replies, tears glistening in his eyes. He then rubs his hands together, when he finally notices the lack of clothing on both Cassie’s and Mack’s behalf. “On that note, uh. I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I should… head out.”

           “I’ll show you the door.” Mack assures, patting him on the shoulder.

   As Mathew was about to leave, he turns back to face Mack, “Take care of her.”

            “Been doing that for the last seventeen years.” She replies, giving him a gentle smile. He smiles back, and heaving a deep sigh, finally walked out. She rolled backwards on her feet as the door closed, feeling a weight lifted off her chest. She suddenly felt lighter, her heart less heavy, and wondered if Cassie felt this too.

        Mathew wasn’t a bad guy, far from it. He had good intentions with Cassie, but they were not a match made forever. Someday he’ll find a girl who will treat him right now that he knows he is deserving of one—but that woman was never meant to be Cassie. Mathew understands that now, and it put Mack’s heart at ease.

         She strolls back over to the living room, where Cassie was sitting quietly on the couch. She had a peaceful look on her face as she stared blankly at their television, hands resting on her chin. Mack smiled and went to cuddle next to her, placing her head on Cassie’s shoulder.

       “I can hear you thinking.” She giggles, pecking her girlfriend on her cheek. “Whatcha got going on in the ol’ noggin?”

         Cassie blinks, and turned to Mack with a soft smile, “Just thinking about how much I’m in love with you. It’s overwhelming sometimes.”

              “Instead of thinking about it, why don’t you take me back to bed and show me?” Mack teases, trailing her hand up Cassie’s robe.

      “So demanding,” She husks, and in one fell swoop, Cassie turns around and picks up Mack bridal-style. The young woman lets out a shriek and crashes their lips together, her hands clasping on to Cassie’s neck as they hurry back into their bed. God only knew what time it was, but neither girl cared, as they made love for hours, their hearts free and their souls at peace.

                                                                    

* * *

 

  
     A few weeks passed since the incident with Mathew and things began to fall back into place again. No more insecurities were between the two girls, or problems arose between them. Ever since they made love for the first time, they made it a point to christen every other room in the house, and _that_ was an experience they swore never to admit to anyone else. It was sexy, exhilarating, and a bit uncomfortable at times, but they both agreed to keep sex in the safety doors of their bedroom. (Mack could never look at their kitchen table the same way ever again, after Cassie came twice on it).

     They actually hardly saw each other because they respectively had to focus on papers for their classes, and get all their credits lined up so they could graduate in a month. Cassie always had morning classes while Mack had them in the afternoon and evening, so they shared their nights together.

       Three months. It was hard to believe that it’s already been three months since they got together, and five months since she broke up with Mathew. Everything happened so quickly in Cassie’s life, but she honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

      She had Mack, a new friend in Elliot, Levi, Mathew, and she was acing all her classes. They still had money saved from both of their old jobs and income that Levi shares with them. They kept up with their rent and lived comfortably.

          Everything seemed to be pushing them face first into the future and Cassie was so ready for it. A happy sigh escaped Cassie’s lips.

          She jumped slightly when she heard her cellphone ring in her pocket, and hastily rushes to grab it. The ID ‘ _birth giver_ ’ was displayed on her screen, and she internally groaned. Well, shit. She’d been a horrible daughter lately—she’d been so busy that she neglected to contact her parents and keep them updated. They don’t know of the hell her and Mack went through these last few months. A nervous energy bubbled its way in her stomach as she answered, and the happy tone of her mother, the legendary Diane Martin herself soothed her for a moment.

      “ _Cassandra! Oh, I’m so glad you picked up_!” Her mother exclaimed, “ _We haven’t spoken in ages, your father and I miss you_!”

         Cassie lets out a sigh, “Yeah, I know. That’s… my fault. So much has happened lately.”

        “ _I know, graduation is coming soon! Are you nervous? Excited? You’re an adult now, I’ve never been so proud._ ”

         “It seems surreal now. Like I just started college yesterday.” Cassie admits, shaking her head.

          “ _Oh, I know that feeling. But I’m more concerned as to why you haven’t called us. Is everything okay? How’s your girlfriend Mackenzie?_ ”

       Cassie choked. She wasn’t chewing on anything, but the term her mother used so loosely surprised her. It only took her a minute to realize that she was only using it in the platonic sense, and that she has yet to come out to her parents. Hoo boy.

        “ _Cassie! What’s the matter, darling_?”

    “Hah—I’m fine, mom. Just swallowed my gum. Ah. Ew,” she wheezes, and hacked once for emphasis. “Mackie’s—Mack’s fine. She’s with Levi right now, they’re waiting for me.”

       “ _Well I don’t want to keep you away from your friends. We should get together for dinner. I miss you. And bring Mack. I know you two have always been a package deal._ ”

         “T-that sounds… that sounds great, mom. We’ll shoot for this weekend.”

   “ _Alright honey. Take care of yourself. If you ever need anything, don’t be a stranger._ ”

             “I won’t, and uhm… mom?” Cassie hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should tell her now. Get it over with. Trust her with her feelings. “N-never mind. I love you.” 

          “ _I love you too, sweetie._ ”  Click.

      Cassie’s heart pounded in her chest as she walked across the courtyard, stuffing her shaking hands in her pocket along with her cellphone. She spotted Mack lying in-between Levi and Elliot, who were playing an intense game of Heads Up. Elliot was in the middle of trying to act out someone sky diving while Mack laughed heartily to wait her turn.

        “Cass!” Mack exclaims, jumping up from her spot to trample over their bodies. Levi groaned loudly. “Hello, my lovely wife.” She grins, wrapping her arms around Cassie and giving her a kiss. 

       “U-uh you’re jumping into a pool! You’re falling! You’re coming out of the closet!” Levi guesses, and Elliot gives him a dirty look.

        “Does everything have to be a metaphor for the gay agenda?” She groans. “Ugh, pass.”

  “What? What was it supposed to be?”

         “Sky diving, dumb shit.”

    “What you were doing was NOT sky diving!”

            Cassie rolls her eyes at her two friends and smiles at her girlfriend.

      “I missed you. Ready to head home?” Mack hums. She gives her a kiss and hurries back over to grab her backpack, then skipped to hold onto Cassie’s arm.

       Cassie was quiet the ride home, as Mack babbled on about her day, oblivious to Cassie’s inner turmoil. Cassie wondered how her mother would react to them being together. Would she be accepting of their love? Oh god, what if her mother disowns her like Mack’s father? Cassie wouldn’t be able to understand why.

         “Hey. You okay?” Mack asks, placing a hand on Cassie’s arm, “You’re shaking, Cass.” Cassie blinks, realizing that they were in their tiny apartment now.

      “I—oh,” she mumbles, trying to control her hands, as she fiddles with them. She breathed out slowly as Mack held onto her, and swallows, “My mother called, before I came to you.”

            “I haven’t talked to Diane in a while. How’s she been?” 

    “Uhm, good I guess. She invited us over for dinner this weekend.”

               “Great, I’ll clear my schedule,” Mack eyed Cassie warily, “…Cassie.”

        The young woman let out a shaky breath. “I-I just realized I have to come out to them, don’t I? My mom and dad. T-they need to know that we’re… in love or else they’ll assume wrongly of us.” She rushed out, feeling the tears glisten in her eyes. “I’m just… I’m so scared, Mack. Did she call me because she’s suspicious?” 

             “Shh. Cassie… relax. You don’t have to come out to your parents if you don’t feel safe. If they ask us we can just say we’re not seeing anyone and they’ll leave it alone,” Mack then smiles gently at her, “Do you want to tell her?”

              “Yes! No. Ugh, I don’t know,” Cassie sighs, and walks over so that she flops onto the couch. She kicks her leg up, burying her face into a pillow. Mack chuckles quietly, relating to her on so many levels. “I’m not as brave as you are.”

         “Shut the fuck up, _you are_ ,” Mack soothes, kneeling down to one knee and rubbing Cassie’s arm, “Why are you so nervous?”

            “It’s just… I guess I never realized I’d be in the closet with you, so to speak. To be so worried about finding your parents approval in your relationship. The whole thing is just… so bizarre to me, how people could become so blatantly cruel just because of the way you are.” She holds onto Mack’s hand, “I still haven’t completely forgiven your father for what he said to you.”

      “Don’t worry, I haven’t either,” Mack sighs, “Cassie, are you trying to tell me that you want to come out to your parents?” Her girlfriend nods hesitantly. “But you’re worried how I’ll react because that’s a triggering moment for me?” She nods again. “I guess… you have every right to be worried. We haven’t… um. Talked about that night in detail since it happened. And your parents would be curious as to why I’m not speaking to mine.”

        “Do you miss them, Mack?” She asks, gazing at her curiously, “Your parents.”

    Mack pauses for a moment. “Every fucking day, Cassie.” She blurts, shaking her head. “And it hurts me that I miss them because I doubt they miss me.” Mack collapses on her and wraps her arms around Cassie, “…you and Levi and Elliot have been my only family since.”

       “I’m honored, love.” She soothes, caressing the small of Mack’s back. She picked her up so Mack could cuddle properly on the couch with her, and she felt safe again. “Why do gays have to come out? Why can’t the straights go through the same thing as we do? Why is straight the default? Imagine a world like that.”

         “Nonexistent, because we live in a heteronormative society where animals are more progressive than us in that regard. Like lions. I wanna be a lion- they’re really gay. Some females grow manes.” Mack mumbles.

     “I’m going to need the receipts for that,” Cassie giggles, placing her hand over Mack’s heart. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you for accepting me.”

          “And thank _you_ for accepting _me_.” Mack replies, snuggling into her. They linked their arms together. “Whatever happens, we’re going to do this. Together, okay? I’ll be right there with you.” 

      “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Cassie hums, and bravely texted her mom to confirm their dinner date this weekend, and telling her that Mack would be there. Her mother replied back with a heart and a thumb up emoji.

       

              It was the evening of their date and Mack was bursting with nerves. She couldn’t sit still the entire car ride as a wicked sense of de ja vu came over her, and rubbed her arms together in an anxious habit. Mack had a good relationship with Cassie’s parents; they were like the mother and father she always wanted. Diane Martin was a news anchor, she worked in a small cubicle every day and reported on the most up-to-date happenings in the city of Toronto. She was perky, out-going, and a mother to everyone on the block. She always had an extra plate at the table when it was dinner time, just in case one of Cassie’s or Mack’s friends wanted to come over. Richard Martin was a chef and owned a chain of restaurants in the state, spending most of his time at work rather than with the family. Cassie was, sadly enough, most of the time by her lonesome unless Mack came over to play. They never had any other children and Cassie was an only child, like Mack. 

       Regardless, she’d take an absent father over an asshole father any day of the week.  

  “We’re here,” Cassie spoke, squeezing Mack’s hand as their Uber pulled into Cassie’s driveway. Diane insisted on cooking for them, since it was a special occasion that they all could finally get together. “You ready?”   

            “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Mack replies, as they walked out of the car and gave the driver a tip. Cassie smiles lovingly at her and pecks her on the cheek.   

      Diane answered the door after the first knock. “Darling! Come in, you’re just in time! We set the food on the table!” Mack watches with longing as Cassie wraps her arms tightly around her mother, thinking about her own. 

       “I missed you, mom.”

   “I missed you too, sweetie. It’s been too long since we last saw each other. Remember to call me every once in a while, young lady.” She playfully reprimanded. Her eyes brightened when she saw Mack, and embraced her. “And you! Don’t ghost me either, you’re my favorite daughter, you know?”

           “Way to throw me to the curb, mom.” Cassie teased.

    “You have no idea how much I’ve been waiting to hear that.” Mack mumbled shyly, feeling safe in Diane’s hug. 

          “Is everything okay at home?” She worries, and shares a concerned look with Cassie. 

  “I haven’t been home in a while.” Mack frowns, shaking her head. “So I wouldn’t know.”

          Diane understood that there was something more that needed to be said, and that there was something difficult Mack had to overcome. She was a mother, after all; her instincts were through the roof and as she put the pieces together in her mind she realized whatever it was, Cassie and Mack had to solve it on their own. 

       “Well, you know our home is yours as well. You’re safe here, and we love you. Never forget that okay?”   

       “Thanks Diane.”

   “That’s mom to you, kiddo.” 

             “…mom.” She replies with a blush, and Cassie squeezes her shoulder. 

        Richard greeted them with a warm smile as they all walked into the dining room. “Cassie! Mack! So good of you to finally come!” He gave them both a squeezing hug, picking both girls up effortlessly. 

          “Yeah. Missed you too, dad. Stop it, you’re embarrassing me.” Cassie groans, wiggling out of his grasp.

       “You’re not getting away so easily, miss. This is the last time you go five months without seeing us. You know us old folks, we’re lonely up here.” 

       “Dad. You’re sixty-five, you’re not old.” 

  “Hah! I’d like to see you eat your words someday! Wait till you’re my age and you’re going to doctors appointments every other day!”

         “Ricky, let them go. They’re twenty-two, not twelve, remember?” 

    “What the hell? Since when?” He gasps, and Cassie rolls her eyes. 

              “Since ten years ago. Dad, we’re graduating from college in two weeks.”  

       There was a tentative pause, until tears glistened in Richard’s eyes, and he squeezed Cassie’s arm. “My baby girls are growing up. I remember the day you two met and Mack had beach time Ken and then Cassie had beach time Barbie and they married each other. Who would have thought that this was just the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”  

           Friendship. Mack’s heart ached as she watched Cassie become uncomfortable by the word, and knew she meant so much more to her than that. Oddly, Mack didn’t feel as scared compared to the day she came out to her own parents. She trusted Diane and Richard, they were much more open with the LGBT community because of Diane’s line of work, and genuinely accepting people in general. 

        “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Mack beams, and boldly kisses Cassie’s cheek. It caught her girlfriend off guard, making her blush, and Diane giggled happily.    

       Dinner went by faster than Mack imagined. They chatted about politics, the news, new television shows Richard had recently gotten obsessed with, and future plans the girls had with work or school. Cassie revealed that she didn’t know what to do—she loved fashion and design, and wanted to pursue the art of making her own clothes, but she didn’t know where to start ever since she got fired from her internship. Mack in her own sense, was lost, but kept quiet as she knew it was important for Cassie to get caught up with her parents. 

           Mack helped Diane clean the dishes off the table, and kept an eye on Cassie, who blankly stared at her father, who was going off about how the company _Audible_ was killing libraries all across the world and it was becoming an epidemic. Mack smiled softly at her and was about to send her a kiss, when Diane got her attention first.

          “So, you and my daughter are awfully close now. Closer than usual.” She smiles, “Don’t think I haven’t been watching you two all night.”

        Mack swallowed thickly, “Well, yeah. Ever since she broke up with Mathew, we got even closer. He was… y’know, first love and all.”  

       “That boy. He was good for Cassie, but there was something weird about their relationship. I had a feeling it wasn’t forever. You know how Cassie valued marriage and commitment, but I’m certain she never expected Mathew.”   

       “I never really liked him either,” Mack admits shakily, handing her a dry plate. “He never went out of his way to become friends with me.” 

     “Do you think that it’s because he must have seen you as a threat?” Diane asks tentatively, “You know more things about Cassie than anyone does. You were there first. You intimidated him.”

           “I never really… thought about it like that. I viewed him as an extra limb that just latched onto her.”

         Diane barked out a laugh, squeezing Mack’s shoulder, “Oh, I missed you, Mack. You and my daughter are just growing up so fast. I’m so proud of you both. You’ve both come such a long way.”  

         Cassie came into the kitchen then, “Mack, may I… talk to you for a second?”

   “And leave me to do all the dishes?” Diane teases, and then shoes them off. “Whatever. Go on.” 

                Mack smiles softly and takes Cassie’s hand, as they walked over to a quiet hallway away from her parents.

     “What’s up, baby?”

             “I t-think… I want to tell them now, Mack. I can’t wait anymore.”  

       “It’s up to you. We can do this now or we can wait.”

                 “I want to bring it up first so we’re not put in an awkward spot. I-I don’t… want this to turn out like it did for your parents. That night… scared the shit out of me. I don’t think I could bear it if I see you like that again over mine.”

           Mack sucked in a deep breath, and rested their foreheads together. “I know. Whatever happens, you’re here with me this time. You’re here and I love you and there’s nothing holding us back. If this doesn’t work out then fuck it we’ll fly over to Vegas and elope. You’re the only woman I want to be with in this lifetime and no one can tell me otherwise. Cassie…” Mack giggled tearfully, caressing her hair and staring deeply into her eyes, “In therapy, I realized that there’s a difference between acceptance and permission. I don’t need permission to date you from my parents. That was courage I gained all on my own, and a choice that I made. It was my destiny. Your heart was mine from the very first day. I can’t change that or what I am because some idiot claims that this is wrong. Accepting who I am and ever since I realized that my love for you is good I’ve never been happier. Acceptance from my parents, from our parents, is a process that happens slowly. We can’t change their minds or their traditions. We can only hope and pray that one day they’ll see reason and that we aren’t changing. Whatever happens, I plan to stand by your side, the same way you did for me those months ago.”

         Cassie breathed out slowly and leaned in to kiss her deeply. The kiss was soft and gentle and loving, as it always was, but there was a sense of urgency. She kissed her as if this was the last time they’d ever see each other. 

       “How are we going to do this?” Cassie asks softly.

  “I have an idea.”

             They all found themselves in the living room, Janet and Gabriel sitting on the couch after all the dishes were cleaned and they confusedly looked for the girls. Moments later, they came into the living room, holding a large easel and notebook between them. 

          “So… we know you have a lot of questions. We haven’t spoken to you both in a while because so much has happened within the last five months and we’re still figuring things out. So we talked and we decided that the best way to tell you was by drawing everything out,” Cassie chuckled, and Mack nods in reply. “I’m going to draw two characters and you’re going to tell me how they’re related.”  She then proceeds to drew two stick figured women.

         “Sisters! Co-workers! Best friends!” Richard exclaims, and Diane slaps her head.

   “Girlfriends,” Cassie started with a nervous intake of breath, “They’re… girlfriends.”

             “They’re like Cassie and I. Cassie and I are girlfriends,” Mack replies boldly, stepping closer and holding her hand tight. “We’re in love.”

     A happy gasp came from Diane. Richard’s face split into a smile.

            “…Please, bear with me—I… I’ve only figured this out recently and I’m still shaken up over it. But you’re my parents, and I trust you, so I figured that you should… that you have a right to know how this happened,” Cassie stuttered, and Mack smiled.

    Diane perked her head up and raised her eyebrows, silently urging her to continue.

           “My whole life, I felt like I kept on walking in circles. Every day it was just, go to school, come home, eat dinner by myself, and then go to bed. I had everything that I ever wanted handed to me and I never had to work for anything. I was spoiled, and I knew it. I hated it. I didn’t enjoy feeling like this materialistic robot who didn’t understand what no meant. The older I became and the more exposed I was to the world of course I grew out of those habits, but I just remember being on my lonesome. I saw in black and white instead of color. And then… Mack came into my life,” she began, cupping Mack’s face in her hand. “Mack with her, pretty white dress covered in mud because she decided to hop in a puddle on her way home from church. Mack who was crying because her parents were yelling at her and she needed a place to hide so she decided on my backyard. Her grandmother was the one who ended up finding her and the moment she pulled you out from that rose berry bush, profusely apologizing to my parents, I saw in color.” A gentle smile appeared on her face, “Then she noticed I had beach time Barbie in my hand and you had beach time Ken in your pocket for whatever reason—,”

       “—my parents never let me took toys to church, so I snuck him in.” She chuckled.

  “And then she declared, ‘You have the limited addition beach time barbie! It’s fate that we meet, we’re soulmates! Nana, can you marry us?’ And that was probably the greatest moment of my life.” They all laughed, remembering that happy time. “She was there for everything. My first boyfriend, my first dance, my emo phase; we went on so many pirate adventures together we could write a whole novel. She was there celebrating so many birthdays, anniversaries, and weddings with me. Always by my side, growing and maturing into the gorgeous woman she is today. And then… then I met Mathew. That’s when I lost her,” Cassie sniffed, closing her eyes, “She pulled away from me and I didn’t know why. I was scared and thought it was something I said that offended her or made her upset, but she never told me. For three years, I watched as she slowly became nothing more than a shell of herself. Someone I hardly recognized, because she was so lost in her own head. But then, one day everything changed between us. Three months after my break up with Mathew, Mack was feeling brave. She was feeling brave and she told me something I already knew, but it was important for her to say it.”   

       “No offense, Mr. and Mrs. Martin, but I’m a lesbian,” Mack blurts, and Janet lets out a quiet gasp. “And I know I’m a lesbian because… I’m in love with your daughter.”

       “Oh, Mackenzie…” Richard said in awe, his gaze flickering from Mack’s anxious face to Cassie’s. “No offense taken at all, my dear.”

        “So, so what happened next? How did Cassie react when you told her your feelings?” Diane asks, practically bouncing up and down.

     “Well obviously it worked out because look at how close they’re sitting, Di—,”

                      “Shut up, or I swear to god I will call you _Dick_ all weekend. I want to hear the rest of the story!” She explains, slapping her husband on the shoulder. He sobered up quickly. 

          “Oh, she told me,” Mack chuckles, smiling as Cassie’s mother tilts her head in confusion. “She realized her feelings for me—and the first time around it wasn’t pleasant for either of us. She was drunk, and just got fired from her internship. She was on the floor with one too many bottles surrounding her, and in a daze, she proposed to me.”    

         “Uhm… Cassie, you are aware that you missed a couple of steps, right dear?” Richard teased, smiling at her, “Typically you take someone out on several dates before you pop the question.” 

          “I was drunk, and had a hard day,” Cassie says into her hands, “…I wasn’t thinking straight.” 

        “Understatement of the fucking century.” Mack snorts, and Cassie chuckles.

   “I was upset that night due to a lot of things. And… it wasn’t fair that I proposed to her a bit awkwardly because I didn’t remember it right away, and that hurt Mack. But I didn’t propose to her for laughs or anything out of malice. I proposed to her because that afternoon, I realized that the reason why I never wanted to marry Mathew was that my heart belonged to someone else. And that I was lying to myself this whole time—I’m not straight. I was never meant to be Mathew’s. I’m not the perfect daughter you expected me to be who married young, had children, and desired to have a husband. I’m bisexual. I know that I am because I am in love with Mack, and I want her to be my wife someday.” She then takes a deep breath as tears glisten in her eyes, “Mom. Dad. I’m gay.”

           Everything happened at once. Diane jumped up squealing, her eyes widening and rushing over to hug both Cassie and Mack. Richard had a wide smile on his face, leaning back in his seat, until he got up as well. 

       “I’m. So. Proud. Of. You!” Diane exclaimed, peppering Cassie’s face with kisses. Then she cups Mack’s face in her hands and leans their foreheads together, “Welcome to the family, honey. I’m so happy things worked out this way between you both!”

        “Y-you mean you’re not… mad or, weirded out at all?” Mack asks tearfully.

   Janet smiled, “I knew from the day we met you, you’d be in Cassie’s life for a long time. Whether it be a romantic or platonic sense, I knew as a mother it was my duty to protect you and to keep you safe. And I knew that whatever happened, you and Cassie would find a way to be with one another if you were ever separated. I can’t imagine a better life partner suitable for my Cassandra.”  

       “What Diane is trying to say, you have our blessing, kiddo. Whenever you want to pop the question again with a real ring, let us know. We’ll be more than happy to help you out.” Richard says, and that was when Mack cried. 

    “Mackie, what’s wrong? Everything’s okay! My parents are very accepting of us and we can get married someday! Oh, darling…” Cassie soothes, pulling Mack into a hug.

       “I’ve been nervous as fuck all day, Cass. I-I was so scared that this’ll turn out the way it did for my parents. That yours would try to separate us and we’d never be with each other. Or that they’d hate me.” Cassie sighs and holds onto Mack even tighter than before. “I haven’t seen my parents in five months because they hate me for being like this.”

      Diane’s face paled, “Wait, what? What did Lisa and John do?” 

  “Mack’s been scared more so than I was to come out. Her parents… well, didn’t react so kindly when she did. Her father disowned her.”    

       “That spineless motherfucker. How fucking could he? Just because he found out his daughter is gay and in love with mine? There’s nothing wrong with that!” Diane slapped her hands together, “When I call them later, I swear—,” 

           “Diane, honey. Sometimes people like that can’t be reached so easily. You know those folks are set in their ways and traditions. It’s been five months since. Give them time.” Richard lovingly pats her head.   

      Diane let out a frustrated sigh, and then stared at Mack and her daughter, who were now comforting each other. “I hate the word homophobic. Like those people who hate folks like my daughters aren’t scared—they’re just _mean_ and _disgraceful_ and _uninformed_. All you want to do is love each other. When has that ever been a crime? Mack, I hope you now never feel that you’re afraid to be who you are, or that you should hide yourself. You have my blessing to be with my daughter, she was yours from the day you both met, and I’m so proud of you. I know you’ll take care of her better than any man would.” She then cups Mack’s cheek with both of her hands, “You’re so brave. Your feelings are valid and strong and wonderful. Never think less of yourself because of the way you’ve been raised. You should never settle for less than what you deserve.”   

            Richard smiles and pats Mack on her shoulder, “And who do you deserve? Our daughter. In this lifetime and in every one after.”

      Happy tears streamed down Mack’s cheeks and she hugged them both, her heart full and her mind at ease. She then felt her arm being tugged and was pulled into Cassie’s embrace, who boldly spun her around and dipped her into a suave kiss. Richard and Diane cheered, beyond excited that both of their daughters have finally found happiness. 

     Life was good.


	8. The Five-Year Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack and Cassie develop a five year plan. Cassie sees Dr. Reese and he gives her an opportunity in which she has to make a life-changing decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Cassie's Choice" wasn't originally going to be the title for this fic. I had three other ones in mind, but ultimately I'm glad this one made the cut. Because now that I've edited this thousands of times and read this over, it relates heavily to how Cassie as a character has grown. I'm really proud of her.

 

 

> **_“When you believe it, you've created it, whatever it is” -Bangambiki Habyarimana_ **
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> * * *
> 
>  

      Five months ago, if someone pulled Cassie aside and asked her if she was happy with her life, she’d probably say ‘no’. She broke up with her boyfriend three months ago prior to that. She was worried about her best friend’s mental health. She hated her job. Everything seemed to be going downhill, and fast.  

    And then something magical happened. Mack came out to her. After years of harboring this information, feeling scared and unsure of who to trust, Mack took a leap and told her best friend that she was a lesbian. Cassie, at the time hadn’t come to terms with her own sexuality, but she remembered being so proud of her. Then, following that, life seemed to be looking up for them. Their relationship became closer than ever. She was amazed by how strong and confident Mack was.

    And she realized she was in love.

     Sure, she may have lost her internship in the process, but they had each other in the emotional and physical sense. There would always be other opportunities to look for jobs. They had to focus on graduating from college first.

      Five months seemed to fly by quicker than Cassie realized—she couldn’t believe they were practically done with college, and almost in June.  

      Three months since her and Mack decided to start their future. Five months since Mack came out to her parents. And now, their hearts and souls were at peace. Yes, the process of figuring both these things out was hell on earth, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

      They had a future now. That was a beautiful idea in of itself.

    “Baby, check your phone,” Mack said sleepily, reaching over to grab it. “You just got an email.”

       “Hmm?” Cassie mumbled, reaching for it.

  “Have you spoken with your advisor, Dr. Reese yet?” Mack asked.

         “Ughn. No, I’ve kind of been avoiding him.”

   “Well he’s tracking you down, babe.” Mack replied. “Better answer him.”

           Cassie tried to ignore the way Mack placed needy kisses down her arm, nipping at her elbow. Well, great. This wasn’t going to help her send a coherent email. She clicked on the ‘subject’ line and read that he wanted to ask her about post-graduation plans. She quickly replied back saying that she is available to meet in the morning.

     “I don’t want to think about graduation right now, too overwhelming,” Cassie mumbled as she pressed ‘send’, placing the phone on her nightstand. She rolled over to face Mack, giving her girlfriend the perfect opportunity to catch her nipple in her mouth, and nip at it. She groaned. “Fuck, Mack. You’ve tired me out from our last round—how are you still eager?”

         “You’ve turned me into a sex fiend.” Mack said without shame, raking her hands all over Cassie’s body. “I can’t get enough of you.”

     “Famous last words.” Cassie chuffed, running her hands through Mack’s hair.

  “The seventeen-year long foreplay was worth it.” Mack chuckled. 

      “You’re going to hang that over my head forever, aren’t you?” Cassie pouted. “Hey, I’m making it up to you, aren’t I?”

   “You’re doing so much more than that, baby.”

               She captured her lips into a heated kiss.

      

    Waking up to home-cooked blue berry pancakes every morning was such a blessing Cassie never took for granted. She loved how Mack wanted to get better at doing things around the house to prepare for their future. She even offered to do the laundry weekends, something that Mack never dared to learn before.  

        Cassie sighed heavenly, thinking of their future together. Mack would be a beautiful mother. She often jokes of how horrible kids can be, but Cassie knew that secretly Mack adored them, and wished for one of her own. It was amazing now that she could not only imagine that life, but they can now start preparing for it.  

       Her love was dressed casually in just a flannel and underwear, one of Cassie’s favorite looks. (her personal favorite was when Mack pranced around in nothing at all, but that’s besides’ the point).    

     “You look so hot today, darling.” Cassie purred, easily slinking her arms around Mack’s waist.  

      “Flattery will get you nowhere. Set the table?”

   Cassie squeezed Mack’s ass in reply, going into the cupboard for glasses and plates.

       Fuck, she was so happy. So blissfully, undeniably happy. She loved her life so much.  

  Just as Cassie set the plates on their table, Levi burst through the door.

       “Good morning, my favorite gays! Ooh. Smells good in here.” He grinned, clasping his hands together. Elliot poked her head through the door.

     “Are you making pancakes? Can I have Nutella and Peanut Butter in mine?”

           “Call us next time so we can set up extra seats, you two.” Cassie rolled her eyes.

    “Fuck, now I really have to change.” Mack groaned, buttoning her top to properly cover her breasts.   

     Elliot was the only decent one in the room, “Sorry. Did we interrupt something?”

  “When are we not?” Levi snickered. Elliot smacked his arm. “Ow!”

        Cassie laughed, beyond happy. 

  The four friends spent the rest of the morning chatting about graduation and plans for the future.     

        “I’m thinking I might travel for a year,” Levi announced, leaning backwards in his seat. “Explore Canada with my new beau. Find something that will inspire me towards a career.”

        “Haven’t you been talking about opening your own tattoo shop?” Elliot asked, stuffing a whole pancake in her mouth. “You promised us free tats.”

        “Yesterday’s news,” Levi scoffed, making Mack and Cassie giggle. “I can’t see myself being tied down to something. I need excitement in my life.”

      “Promise us that you’ll call?” Cassie pleaded, giving him a pout.

   “You honestly think I would be able to handle a day without listening to whatever ridiculous domestic fight you and Mack have gotten into? I’d suffer.” He chuckled. 

      “Hey! We’re not that bad.”

          Elliot gave Mack a look, “Monday, you called me, like, _pissed_ that Cassie forgot to put laundry detergent in the wash. And then started crying because you picked up a pair of Cassie’s overalls and started missing her.”

          “I can’t help it if the littlest things remind me of my hot girlfriend!”  

   Cassie fought back a laugh, “That’s really pathetic babe.”

           “You’re no better!” Mack glared. Cassie stuck her tongue out close enough so that it licked Mack’s cheek, and she pretended to be disgusted by this.   

       Mack was about to flick syrup onto Cassie’s face when her cell phone dinged, signaling the alarm to leave for class.

      “Shit, babe, we’re late.” The raven-haired woman said, picking up her place.

  “Boo, can’t we take a day off and hang out with these idiots?”

           “Hey!” Levi exclaimed, and Elliot rolled her eyes.  

   “Really feeling the love here, guys.” The blonde smirked.

           “Yeah, whatever—last one out cleans the dishes.” Cassie called, stuffing the last pancake in her mouth and grabbed Mack’s hand on her way out.

    (“Not it!” She heard Elliot say just as she closed the door, and Levi’s pathetic groan. Mack’s laughter rang through the hallway.)      

 

        “Dr. Reese if you’re going to talk about Mathew again, please don’t. I’m in a better place now and we’ve all moved on from that,” Cassie said, much to her advisor’s surprise.  

      “Oh, well this is certainly a different attitude from the last time you were here. I… suppose, you and Mathew have worked out your differences?” The elderly man asked, gazing at her curiously.

       Cassie swallowed thickly, “We decided we’re better off as friends. I’m… in a serious relationship with Mack now.” 

      “Ah,” Dr. Reese replied, and it was the kind of tone as if someone was trying to figure out a mystery on their own only to have it be solved for them. It was here Cassie wondered what this man did in his spare time. Tennis, probably. “Well, I’m very happy for you, Cassie. I wish you and Mack the best of luck.”  

    Cassie let her shoulders relax.

  “Now I was just wondering what your plans were for graduation? Any jobs lined up?”

     Immediately, Cassie’s shoulders tensed up again. She didn’t want to think about that.

      “Well I just got fired, from an _internship_ ,” Cassie picked up her pen and started to fiddle with it, “So the job pool is looking a little shallow.” She lets out a sigh, “It’s been difficult. I’ve been trying to search for jobs that can help support Mack and I. We want to have enough so we could be able to raise a family someday.”

       Dr. Reese gave her a comforting smile, “I actually know someone who works at a creative agency. They’re looking for a junior copywriter. And I suggested you.”

     “Are you… serious?” Cassie asked, a wide smile on her face.

        “I am.”

   “Oh my god, that’s amazing.” (She was really trying to hold herself back from crying.)

           Dr. Reese brought out a pencil and paper, “The position begins very soon in New York so it should be perfect for after you graduate.” 

      “How… soon is soon?” Cassie asked, excited for this opportunity, but also nervous about leaving so quickly.

      The advisor watched her demeanor change, “The beginning of July. So you’ll have the whole month of June to think about it, and it’ll be worth a whole year of experience.” He then started writing things down, “Here is the name of the HR person and their contact info. Give them a call if you’re interested.”

    Cassie gratefully took the post-it note, “…thank you, so much Dr. Reese.” She then shook her head, chuckling softly, “These last five months of my life have gone by so quickly. I can’t believe so many good things are happening to me right now.”

        “You deserve this, Cassie. You’re a good person. I’ve watched you grow all these years and always knew you were destined for something great. I’m certain you’ll thrive wherever life takes you.”   

    Cassie smiled, tears prickling in her eyes. She then received a text message from Mack, who had a pout on her face and she was wearing just a flannel. Underneath, the text read ‘come home, baby’.   

     Home.

  Wherever life takes Cassie, Mack is her home.

      She’ll always come back to Mack.

 

* * *

 

         Mack and Elliot were halfway through _San Junipero_ when Elliot paused the movie. She had a thoughtful expression on her face, one Mack had grown fond of. Over the last two months, Mack genuinely considered the younger woman a close friend, and was proud of her when she stood up to her old group for treating her poorly. Apparently, there were more problems under the surface Elliot tried to hide when they met that day.  

       Elliot fit into Mack’s friend group like a missing puzzle piece. She was humble, quiet, and kind—a complete opposite of Levi. She was proud of her queerness and eagerly flaunts when Levi’s there, but one-on-one she would talk about anything else. Mack didn’t know much about Elliot’s private life and that was okay—the girl would come out when she’s ready.   

     Mack had to internally laugh at the thought of Elliot finding her attractive once, they could have easily dated. She was Mack’s type. But her heart and soul belonged to Cassie’s. Perhaps in another life. 

    Today, she seemed out of it. Mack was worried about her.

       “Hey, you okay, Eli?”

             Elliot let out a sigh and snuggled closer to Mack, “Is it possible to be in love with someone you’ve never met?”

    “Whoa,” Mack chuckled, poking her shoulder, “Who is this and what have you done with Elliot? You _never_ talk about your relationships with me.”

               “I just… I need your advice.”

     “Listen, just because I have a girlfriend doesn’t mean I know how to get one.” Mack snorted. “I’m the last person you want to come to.” Mack rolled her eyes at Elliot’s pout, “But as best friend rules, I guess I can help you.”

       Elliot breathed in a shaky sigh, “Don’t laugh at me, okay? Promise me you won’t laugh?” She held out her pinky. Mack grumbled at how childish this was but took the pinky anyways. “Okay. So, I met this person named Alys on Tumblr. They… identify as non-binary… they go by the user name  _the-nonbinary-prince_.” Mack almost blurted out a laugh but then she covered her mouth. “They write fan-fic for multiple fandoms and sometimes posts selfies. We’ve… been talking for almost two years now. And we really have a lot in common.” 

      “So… what’s holding you back? If you like them, start making some moves.”

  “It’s kind of hard to flirt through Tumblr messenger. There’s only so much of kissy face emoji’s you can send to a human if they never get the hint.” Elliot puts her face in her hands, “I don’t know, I’m bad at this online thing. I crave human contact.”

        “Oh, that’s a big mood. Did you know the first time I kissed Cassie I was like, sobbing? Water, water everywhere.”  

    “I know, Mack. You tell me this story every day,” Elliot rolled her eyes.

          “My point is, no one is an expert when it comes to these things. You can’t hurry love. If you’re anxious about pushing things further than talk to her about it. Be honest with your feelings. Remember, even though this is starting from an online friendship that doesn’t make it any less valid of a relationship. Lots of couples are meeting online nowadays, you wouldn’t be thought of as strange for going through with this.” She then squeezed Elliot’s hand, “You’re a great human, Eli. Any girl—human—would be so lucky to have you.”

    Elliot leaned over and gratefully kissed Mack’s cheek, “Thanks, babe. W-wanna see a picture of them?”

      “And rate how hot your future spouse is going to be?” Mack exclaimed, causing Elliot to blush. “Of course! Show me!”  

         Mack listened as Elliot ranted about Alys, smiling softly. She was happy for her. Elliot deserved the world.  

      It was nearing five o clock when Cassie finally came home, shrugging her overly large purse off her shoulder and climbing on top of Mack and Elliot.

          Elliot chuckled softly and made room for the other girl, so she could cuddle with Mack. Surprisingly, Cassie gave Elliot a loving smile and kissed her check, before kissing Mack’s.

       “I missed my girls.” She mumbled quietly, and Mack smiled. 

  “We missed you too.” Elliot said, sharing a look with her friend. 

        “How was your day, babe?”

             “I-I have news.” Cassie began, looking nervous. “I, um. I’m not sure how you’ll take it.”

        “Do you want Elliot here or should she go?” Mack asked gently, caressing her arm.

             “Oh, you can stay. She’s a part of our family now, whether it’s from me or Levi you’ll find out eventually.” Cassie said with a chuckle, and Elliot’s heart grew three sizes. “I, um… okay.” Elliot reached out to squeeze Cassie’s hand, giving her comfort. “I spoke to Dr. Reese today, and he gave me an offer for a job.”

       Mack let out an ear-splitting screech that broke both Cassie’s and Elliot’s ear-drums. 

 “Baby, that’s great! Take it!”

           “Y’see, I would… if it wasn’t a month away and I’d have to move away for a year.” Cassie explained, her lower lip quivering. “It’s for a creative agency and it’s my dream job but… the only downside is that you wouldn’t be with me.”

     “Oh, _Cassie_ …” Mack soothed, wiping the tears away from Cassie’s eyes. “You shouldn’t let me hold you back from going after your dreams. We’re a team. We were best friends before girlfriends. Back then I would still encourage you to go, because this is who you are—you love challenging yourself, pushing yourself to be a better version. It’s what I really admire about you. I think you should take this chance, Cass.”    

        “What if we don’t work out long-distance, Mack? What if something shitty happens to us and we end up being separated for good? I-I don’t think I could live with myself if that ever happens.”

     “Valid points,” Elliot cut in, nodding. “But you need to remind yourself of why you click so well with Mack—you’re both so faithful and honest with each other. You have seventeen years of friendship under your belt. One year apart wouldn’t hinder your relationship at all. If anything, I think it’ll make you two stronger together.” 

      “What would you do during that time without me, Mack? How will you keep yourself busy?”

    “I’m… thinking I could maybe go back to school.” Mack shrugged, unsure, “Or start applying for jobs online. Maybe I’ll become a vlogger.”

       Elliot snorted, “Right, and quit after two weeks because you’re lazy as shit.” 

    Mack gasped and slapped her friend’s arm. Realizing that Cassie was still uncomfortable with this idea, Mack decided to take a different approach. She wiggled her way out of Cassie’s and Elliot’s comfortable hold before hurrying off to their kitchen and taking their Five-Year Plan off the fridge. 

      She turned around to see Cassie and Mack right behind her.

     “Year One post college—get promoted or a raise from job,” Mack read, smiling at them. “Year Two, propose to best friend. Year Three, get married and buy a house to raise family in. Year Four, start IVF or adoption process to begin preparing for our family. Year Five, take care of tiny human and give them all the love and care they deserve.” Her voice cracked as tried to steady herself, “Whether or not any of these happen in order or out of order, I want to accomplish these milestones with you, baby. And this isn’t even scratching the surface of what’s on this list. I’m… so ready, to tackle this new life that we share. A year apart so you can go off and live your dream doesn’t put a wrench in our plans. We’ll figure things out, I promise.”

         Cassie sniffed, wiping her eyes as Elliot wrapped a comforting pair of arms around her. “When you two get married, can I be the maid of honor?” Her eyes sparkled, “Oh! And can I be the kid’s godmother?”  

      This was happening. This was _really_ happening.

  Mack spread her arms open, beckoning Cassie for a hug. The other woman didn’t hesitate, as she collided into her girlfriend, burying her face into her neck. 

     “I’ll wait for you another seventeen years if it meant I get to raise a family with you,” Mack said emotionally, “In this life, and in every one after, you’re my one true love, Cassie.”  

      “You’ll be such a great mom.”  

  “So will you, baby.” Mack agreed, giving her a gentle kiss. 

           “Wow, hi, my name is Third Wheel.” Elliot groaned good-naturedly. Cassie giggled and pulled the blonde into their hug, snuggling close to her. 

    “And you’re going to be the best aunt ever.” She teased. Her eyes watered, and Mack cooed lovingly at her. “F-five months ago I just didn’t think _any_ of this was possible. Now I’m so blessed.” 

      “We’re going to get through this. Together, Cassie.”

  “Together.” Cassie grinned, and nodded.  

         Elliot’s stomach rumbled, ruining their moment, and she grinned sheepishly at her girls. “Yeah,  _yeah_. I want food now. Can we gorge ourselves with burritos for dinner?” 

        Mack cheered. Cassie laughed. And Elliot thought to herself how lucky she was to have two wonderful women in her life now.

 


	9. Like A Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack, Cassie, Levi, and Elliot go to pride. ohohooho things get gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original plan was to have Mack wait and propose to Cassie when she comes back from the airport, but this gave Cassie the extra drive and motivation she needed to go on her internship. She felt insecure about leaving and didn't want to go so soon after getting into this new relationship with Mack. But everything flowed so nicely this way, I had to scrap the original version.

 

 

 

>   ** _"You are not loveless. You are not deviant. You are sensational."_ _Toni Topaz, Riverdale_**

* * *

  

          They graduated college with flying colors.

   Literally and figuratively.

          (Lisa and John Wilson were not in attendance, but Diane and Richard Martin were, front row, ally flags raised and foam fingers high in the air. Cassie just about died from embarrassment.) 

           Levi had a rainbow flag attached to his robe as he walked down the stage and joked about how he completely ‘aced’ through those final exams.

    Cue his entire friend group rolling their eyes.  

  Of course, Levi had to do something completely bizarre regarding his final days on campus.

       He brought glitter canons—an oddity the man always carried—and shot them in everyone’s faces. 

    One would think the man was drunk, but fortunately no—that’s just how he was. High on life.  

 Cassie graduated with a 4.0, top of her class.

    Mack scraped by with a 3.6—her community service work made up for all the times she missed classes. And Elliot was somewhere in between, satisfied with her grades, more than happy that college was finally over and done with.

    They had done it. This chapter of their life was finally over.

          The four friends celebrated that weekend getting bat-shit drunk, Cassie and Mack finding themselves naked and tangled in each other’s arms the following morning.

         The following week Cassie decided to make an appointment for the interview, much to Mack’s delight and excitement. 

         During that time, Mack had decided to make a very important trip to Cassie’s parents’ house. She was acting squirrely all morning, desperate to reveal where she really was going. But she wanted it to be a surprise.  

        “Mack! It’s good to see you!” Diane beamed, opening the door for her. The older woman engulfed her into a hug. “How do you feel now, college graduate?”

         “Like an _adult_.” Mack groaned.    

     “Oh, one of the many things that does not get better with age. Are you hungry? I was just about done making quesadillas.”

      “Oh my god, you know me _so_ well.”

  Diane laughed again.  “Anything for my favorite daughter. Don’t tell Cassie.” She winked, heading over to the kitchen.

         “Is Rick here?”   

   “He’s on the train, he’ll be here in thirty minutes. Why, love?”

          “Uh. Just wondering, is all.” Mack fiddled with her hands, knowing that the older woman easily caught on to any suspicious behavior quickly.

         Diane narrowed her eyes, saying nothing. She turned back to the food she was cooking. “So, where’s your better half?”

              “She’s in a job interview right now, for that creative agency,” Mack beamed, beyond proud of her girlfriend. “It’s really quiet at home when she’s not there, so I figured I’d come here.”

         Diane was grateful for the company, “Well dear, thank you for thinking of me,” She chuckled, placing the knife she was holding beside her and moving the food she just cooked to a larger plate. “Especially since you could easily be hanging out with Levi and Elliot.”

         “Levi is on a date with his boyfriend and Elliot’s been ignoring my texts because she’s too busy talking with her online sweetheart.” Mack rolled her eyes.

    “Online? That’s still popular with the kids these days? ”

           “It worked for my girl.”  

      She chuckled and they fell into a comfortable silence. Mack helped Diane in any way she could, setting the table and sweeping the floor. She really felt at home here; she’s basically spent nearly half her life here. Probably because she has. When her home life became too much, Cassie swept Mack away and brought her here. In Cassie’s childhood bedroom, they became anything they ever wanted. 

     They went on pirate adventures. Sailed the big, wide ocean. Went on space missions. Battled with aliens and robots. It was paradise. She had good memories here.

      “Diane,” Mack began, gazing at her curiously, “Did you know?”

  “Hmm? Know what, sweetie?”

         “When I was growing up. Did you ever think once that I was gay?”

     Diane Martin was quiet for a moment. She smiled lovingly, and Mack could see the gears turning in her mind. “When you’re a mother, those things are kind of pushed to the back burner, love. You’re mostly concerned about the essentials: y’know, is my kid eating right, are they getting along with the other kids at school, how they’ll succeed in life. Romance was at the very bottom of the radar for you and Cassie. But there was always something…” she paused, trying to formulate her words, “I suppose a part of me always knew that no matter what, in this life, you and my daughter were meant to be with one another. I didn’t know in what way until that night, when Cassie came out to us. And then after that everything clicked,” She chuckled softly, “As a straight woman, I can’t relate to what you’ve been through. But I do know what love is, and that it’s a universal feeling. Why should we limit or judge one another simply because of the way we are? It has nothing to do with the way you are dressed, raised, or act. Your sexuality is just another part of you that I have no place in casting an opinion on or judgement. To me, my dear, you’re just _Mackenzie_. You’re my daughter’s best friend. My daughter’s first love. And you’ll always be important to me, nonetheless.”     

        Mack found herself sniffling. Cassie’s mother chuckled and opened her arms to comfort her. “T -thank you. I really needed to hear that.”

           “You’re alright, Mack. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded of that, eh?”

       Ruining their moment, Richard burst through the door claiming that he’s brought popcorn home. Diane whipped her head around so fast Mack worried it broke. 

       “ _Dick_! What do I always say? Cut down on the popcorn, it goes straight to your thighs!”

   “But Diane, _honey_ , it tastes so good with the salsa we have!” He whined. ("And stop calling me Dick when you're angry! It hurts my feelings!" He also yelled. But that went unheard.)   

           “I’m taking away your salsa privileges.” She grumbled, and Mack giggled.

     Richard placed his bags near the table and smiled when he saw his daughter’s girlfriend. “Oh hey, Macaroni. Did I come at a bad time? Should I walk back outside so you two could have a moment?”

     “Everything’s okay. We’re okay.” Diane replied, giving Mack a comforting smile. “Shall we eat?”

     “Yes, yes we shall.”

   They chatted and laughed all throughout dinner. Richard went off on a tangent on America’s political state (which was always strange when he brought it up, since they lived in _Canada_ ) while Diane desperately tried to quiet him down. Mack didn’t mind or care whatever they talked about—the amount of love she had for these two humans were unconditional. It was moments like this where she felt the most at peace, her inner demons and worries pushed aside. Where she felt like she was a kid again.   

          When she thought of Cassie and their future, she thought of how distraught Cassie was when her job at the creative agency would take up nearly a year of their life. How Cassie almost dropped the idea because she couldn’t bear to be separated from Mack. Mack sure as hell loved Cassie, but she never wanted to have their relationship hinder Cassie’s success in life. This was an amazing chance for her to take. Mack shouldn’t be the reason for her to give up on her dreams. 

   They needed a compromise. Something to motivate Cassie to leave for New York. It was something that Mack needed permission for. And she needed to do things the right way, this time.

       “So, Mack, now that you’re graduated from college, what are your plans going to be when Cassie gets accepted for that job of hers?”    

     Mack swallowed. Right. This was it. This was a good transition. But oh, _god_ , why did Mack feel like she was about to die? She suddenly had a flashback of that horrible moment months ago, until she reminded herself that she was in a different place now. She had people who loved her. Supported her. She could do this.

       “I-I was just about to ask you something related to that,” Mack stuttered, straightening her posture. “I—um. Diane and Richard Martin.”

     “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” The father winked. 

   “Take your time, sweetie. What’s up?”

            “I want to make babies with your daughter.” She let out a squeak, only to realize she’s said the worst possible thing. The couple burst into knowing laughter, going at it so much that they needed to hold onto each other.     

     “Well, yes, we are excited for grandchildren too. But aren’t you a little too young for that? Don’t you want to make sure you have a job and enough money to care for your child’s needs?” Diane eased softly, gazing at Mack who shrunk, embarrassed, into her chair.  

         “Fuck. Word vomit. I m-meant to ask your permission for something else,” Mack groaned, shaking her head, and she wrung out her hands. “I-I’m just having flashbacks to when I came out to my parents and they didn’t take the news well at all.”

    Richard understood. “Ah. Why don’t we move to the couch then, hmm?” Diane beamed proudly at her husband and took Mack’s hand, guiding her to the living room couch.

      Mack drew out an anxious breath. Diane sat beside her, taking the younger woman’s hands into hers.

      “I-I know you’re aware that Cassie and I are very serious,” Mack began, gazing at them, “W-we had gone through hell and tortured ourselves for having these feelings for each other. Cassie proposed to me, drunk, when she realized she was bisexual. I said no because I didn’t want that to be the way we confessed our feelings. It wasn’t fair. I told her to wait for me, and she did. I want to do things right this time. D-do… I have your permission to marry your daughter?” 

       “We’d be fools to say no,” Richard beamed, wiping his teary eyes, “You take such good care of our Cassie. We can’t imagine anyone else to spend forever with her.”

       “When are you going to do it?”

   “I-I want to do it when we go to pride. It’s the gayest day of the year, and our first time going together since we’ve both come out. It’ll be really special for both of us. Th… the only problem is, I don’t have enough money for a ring.” 

         Diane and Richard shared a knowing look. They didn’t hesitate to answer her. “Name the ring and price, and we’ll loan you the money.” Mack’s eyes widened as she desperately tried to say that wasn’t needed, “Mack, your family. And we know you and Cassie have been struggling with money since she got fired from her internship. We want to help you girls in any way we can. Of course, that means you have to work extra hard in finding a job so you can prepare for your future and my grandchildren can have a stable home to live in.”

    Mack broke down in tears. She was so, so grateful for these two amazing humans. She may have lost contact with John and Lisa Wilson, but she gained something so much more than them.  

       Yes, she missed her mother and father, but Richard and Diane filled the missing gap in her heart faster than they ever could. There’s a saying that goes “blood is thicker than water” to imply that family ties are more important than anything else. This, as Mack has come to learned in her life, is a mistaken quote. The saying really goes, “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” and ironically, the saying relates back to the bonds between war soldiers.

      Cassie and Mack were soldiers. So were Levi and Elliot. To every extent, Richard and Diane. They were her true family. And Mack wouldn’t have it any other way.   

 

     That evening Cassie came home jumping up and down excitedly, relaying her experience with the interview upon Dr. Reese’s request to Mack. She had a good feeling about this. Mack let her ramble, heart warm and fuzzy as she listened and mapped out every inch of her face. It would be a whole year since she’ll see her again, like this. Mack wasn’t somber about it. She was excited.

      A year from now, they would both be twenty-three. They’d both have jobs. They would both start their future. She couldn’t wait for when that year would come.  

       “What did you do all day?” Cassie asked, cupping Mack’s face.

  “Hmm, hung out with Elliot.” She mused, the white lie burning down her throat.

          “Good, I was worried that since I wasn’t here you’d hide yourself in your room like you always do.”

         “I miss you when you’re not here,” Mack bemoans, holding her close. “The apartment feels smaller without you.”

        “Aw, baby,” She chuckled peppering Mack’s face with kisses, “You’re so gay.”

   “Shut up, so are you.”

           “I would have never realized it had it not been for you.” Cassie admitted shyly, casually nipping Mack’s ear.

        “I believe a ‘gee thanks Mack, for helping me realize my flaming homosexuality’ is in order.” The young woman teased, feeling her stomach churn with heat. Oh _gods,_ if Cassie didn’t take that hot blazer of hers off right this second there was going to be some issues.  

      Cassie chuckled, a low and sultry sound, “If you actually do the dishes for once I’ll seriously consider it.”

    “You’re cruel. I fucking hate you.” Mack moaned, her needs clearly putting her words to shame. 

      “No, you don’t.” Cassie teased, giving her butt a slap.

         (Cassie’s right. Mack doesn’t hate her. She’s completely, helplessly, irrevocably in love with her.)

        “Cassie, if you don’t take me to bed right now I’ll fuck you right on this chair.” Mack whined, tugging at Cassie’s bowtie. 

   “Hmm, I’m not opposed to that.” Cassie laughed, the sound beautiful and ringing to Mack’s ears.

         (They barely made it to the bedroom, with their clothes sloppily thrown in every corner of their apartment. They didn’t care. They’ll clean it up later.)

 

  

     Several days later, Cassie got another email from the creative agency that they wanted to see her again. Cassie and Mack celebrated that evening with lots of wine and sex. The day when Cassie went for her second interview, she made sure to wear her blazer since she knew it was Mack’s weakness. Poor Mack could barely keep her hands to herself as Cassie left—it was a sight that had Elliot laughing so hard her sides hurt.

        “I never thought I’d see the day where Mack is all hot and bothered because Cassie’s wearing a suit.” Elliot wheezed, holding onto her chest. She leaned onto Levi. “Did you get that on video?”

        “Tumblr fans are going to fucking screech when they see that,” He chuckled, “Though, I doubt it’ll be as popular than the time you gave Cassie a lap dance. The post has over 200k notes now.”

      Mack grumbled incoherently as she fixed the buttons on her t-shirt, glaring daggers at her friends. “You know, I can _easily_ go shopping by myself without any help from you idiots.” 

      “Wait, that’s what we’re doing today? You just texted me this morning, claiming that it’s a ‘gay emergency’ and I should be over here asap.” Elliot explained, her eyes sparkling.

       “Oh, right. Probably should have explained what we were doing today,” Mack rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, “I asked Cassie’s parents’ permission to marry her. We’re getting the ring today, so I can propose when we go to pride.”

      Levi’s face scrunched up.

 “Don’t cry—Levi, don’t make that face.”

        “What face?” He whimpered.

    “That face you’re making right now.”

         “This is my regular face.”

    Elliot laughed and punched both of their shoulders lightly, “Come on gays, let’s go shopping.”

         After hours of searching for the perfect fit, and Mack suspiciously asking Cassie what size her ring finger is, she finally found the right one. It was a beautiful, two tone ring with gold at the top and silver underneath. In the center of it had her birth stone, with diamonds engraved in the design. And the best part was it’s right in her price range.

   (She ignored the confused grumble that came out of the cashier’s mouth when she said it was for her girlfriend. She ignored the whispers from the costumers beside her. She didn’t care. She refused to let any of them ruin this special moment for her.)

        Cassie was passed out on the couch when Mack finally came home, causing her to chuckle softly. This was Cassie. This was the woman she was going to marry someday. 

      She quietly crept across the room and hid the engagement box in her vanity. She made a pact with herself not to look at it until June 26th. That was three weeks from now. She could handle the wait. 

         “Hey, baby,” She cooed, snuggling up to Cassie. “How was your interview?”

   “Hmm?” Cassie was mumbling, blinking several times, “Oh! It was great. I’m just… I just got so sleepy because I worried too much and nearly had a panic attack coming home.”

       “Oh, sweetie, why?” Mack worried, rubbing her back.

   “Because I somehow got it into my head that I wasn’t going to be hired,” Cassie sighed, holding out her arms for Mack, “I didn’t want to bother you. I know you were out having fun.”

           “Cass, we’re a team. You should never feel like a bother because of your mental illness. We have each other on speed dial. You know I’ll always answer regardless.”

       Cassie blinked, and suddenly, there were tears falling down her cheeks, “I _really_ need this job, Mack. What if they never call us back?”

       “Cassie…” Mack sighed, wishing her girlfriend would be more open with her. Not at times like this.

     “We’re living off checks from my parents. What if I never get hired? How will we cope? What if we never afford to buy a home? What if we never have the opportunity to raise a baby?” Cassie whimpered, sobbing quietly into Mack’s chest. “I want to be able to provide for this family, Mack. What if I’m not good enough? What if they’ve already thrown my resume in the _trash_?”

      “You stop that shit right now, Cassie,” Mack hissed, cupping Cassie’s face, “Cassie. My darling. You’re spiraling, please. Relax.  _Hey_.” She took a deep breath, placing a gentle kiss on Cassie’s cheek, “It’s not going to be the end of the world if you don’t get this job, okay? There will be other opportunities. We’ll try again. If we have to move in with your parents to save money after college, then we’ll make do. Don’t pressure yourself so much, Cassie. From what you told me, the creative agency really likes you. Dr. Reese put in a good word for you. There’s no reason to work yourself up.”  

        Cassie’s sobs quieted, but she still held onto Mack for comfort. 

   “You… are… sensational, Cassie. You’re capable of doing so much in your life. This opportunity for you will broaden your horizons and it’ll be such a great experience for you. There’s only so much that I can do, as your partner in life, to make decisions on your behalf. But this time I need to take a step back and let you work this out.”

        Cassie sniffed and peered up at her, “You’re not worried about how we’ll spend the rest of our lives together?”

    “I figure with any two people in a relationship, our lives move at different paces. I waited seventeen years for you. One more isn’t going to hurt me,” Mack grinned, “But that isn’t what matters. This. Here. Right now. This is what matters,” she leaned their foreheads together, “I love you.”

      “I love you, too.” Cassie replied without hesitation, kissing her with all the love in the world.

  They were going to be okay.

* * *

 

          “Am I gay enough yet?” Levi asked, checking himself out in the mirror. The boy was covered head to toe in rainbow and glitter. His hair was slicked back and died green.

        “Dude, it looks like a _unicorn_ threw up on you. You’d attract men towards you like a moth to flame.” Mack laughed, applying spray paint on her cheeks.  

     “You caught me red-handed.” Levi gasped. He then smirked and flung glitter in Mack’s hair, “There. Now you’re flawless.”

       “The last thing I need is more glitter,” Mack rolled her eyes, but didn’t bother to shrug it off her hair. 

      “Can you help me tie this?” Levi asked, shrugging his rainbow flag over his shoulder.

  “Oh—Levi, that’s a bit much don’t you think?”  

           “Do you even know me? It completes the look, babe.” Levi explained as Mack went to tie it around his neck.

       “You are ridiculous.”

    “Stop, you’re _obsessed_ with me.”

              “Unfortunately.” Mack groaned, playfully slapping his arm.

       “So, are you nervous about tonight?” Levi asked, eyeing his friend through the mirror. “Hey, isn’t Cassie already considered your fiancée?”

          Mack scoffed, “A drunk proposal doesn’t count, Levi. We’ve talked about it. And we both agreed that when the time is right I will do it properly. Cassie deserves that.” 

        “You don’t think you’re pushing this a little too fast?”

   “At first, yeah, but… I want to give her motivation for going off on her job at the creative agency. When she gets back, a year from now, we can call each other wives. It’s something for her to look forward to.” Mack giggled, “And we have been dating for the last seventeen years. It’s about time we tied the knot officially.”   

     “You two are so in love it took a whole damn village for you to realize it,” Levi said, rolling his eyes. He turned around and placed his hands on Mack’s shoulders, “In all seriousness, and you know I’m not all that great with this ‘feelings’ business, I’m really proud of you, Mack. As your best friend, and… as your surrogate brother. You’ve grown so much over these last few months. Words alone can’t express my adoration for you.”

     “Aw, Levi…” Mack sniffed, shaking her head, “Shut up, _loser_ , you’re going to make me cry.”

     “Hey, this is the mushiest I’ll ever get around you, so accept it.” He teased, poking her nose. 

    She chuckled and went over to her vanity, where she kept the engagement ring hidden. She opened the lid of the box, touching the ring briefly, before nodding and stuffing it in her back pocket.

       “I can do this. I can _totally_ do this.” Mack told herself, waving her arms back and forth. She then looks at Levi for guidance, “Can I do this?”

        “Home-girl, don’t stress over this. Of course, you can. This is Cassie we’re talking about, and she loves you.” Levi gave her a hug, “You have an army of gays at your side, we’re here to support you.”

     “I’m so, _so_ grateful for that. Every day.” Mack beamed, wiping her eyes as she broke apart from him.

      “Good. Now let’s get crack a’ lackin’.”

  “Oh god, you turn gayer every time you open your mouth.” Mack moaned, following after him as he opened the door. 

        “I’ll be taking that as a compliment,” He sang, and presented himself towards the group of friends waiting outside. “Oh, fans. My adoring fans. Here, don’t hesitate with the photos. This is my good side. Would anyone like an autograph?”

          Elliot and Cassie’s mouth gaped open.

     “I was… not aware we had to dress up like… hum… _that_.” Cassie mumbled, looking down at her cute blouse and jeans. She had on rainbow earrings and painted her fingernails to match the bisexual flag, but that was it.

        Mack smiled lovingly and hopped on Cassie’s lap, “There are no rules regarding your outfit on pride day. That’s just how Levi is. No one can compete with him.” She kissed Cassie passionately to reassure her, “You look beautiful just the way you are, babe.”

       “You two are nauseating.” Elliot grumbled. 

    “Right, says the girl who’s been anxious as fuck all morning because we’re meeting your online sweetheart at pride today.” Cassie teased, eyeing Elliot when Mack stopped making out with her.

        “Oh my god, we’re going to meet Alys? Finally! I don’t have to deal with your lonely and bitter ass anymore!” Mack cackled. 

         “Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence.” Elliot grumbled, and she anxiously rubbed her hands together, “I… am nervous about meeting them in person, though. What if it doesn’t work out between us?”

        “Aw, Elliot…” Cassie said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder, “Alys would be an idiot if she decided not to have you in her life. I mean, look at you! You’re gorgeous, babe.”

        Elliot grins, blushing at the praise.

   “Are we just going to sit here all day and gossip about attractive people? Today is the gayest day of the year, ladies. There’s only so many hours we can celebrate it in our truest forms.” Levi declared dramatically, spreading open his arms. “Walking now, smooching later. Let’s _go._ ”

          After Mack hit Levi repeatedly on the arm for ruining their moment, they left the apartment with their spirits high and hearts full.

 

      Color was the first thing that Cassie saw when they made it to the parade in the center of Toronto. A whole mesh of color, blended in together so beyond human understanding that it almost made Cassie cry. Everyone was just so… happy. Smiles were plastered on everyone’s faces, loved ones embracing and kissing in the heat of the moment.

     Loud music blasted in her ears and rattled her to the bone. She could feel the earth shake with everyone’s energy.

       “I-I think I see you!” Elliot blubbered, screaming into her iPhone. “Are you wearing a unicorn onesie? Oh, god, you look so cute!”

        “She picked a hottie.” Mack whispered to Cassie, looking at Alys who stood in the middle of the crowd.     

      Cassie wasn’t sure why a surge of jealousy coursed through her, Mack had every right to appreciate other humans. Alys was beautiful. Maybe it was because the attention was taken off her for barely a second, and she wasn’t used to it. She needed to stop. 

       “Oh god, Elliot just _run_ to them.” Levi bemoaned.

    “What? They can’t see me, I don’t want to freak them out.”   

            “We’re wasting time here sending off a search party when I could be hitting up the bar for drinks on a discount.”

       “Drinks here cost nearly double, how on Earth are we going to get them on a discount?” Mack snickered.

     “I have my ways.”

        Cassie found herself staring at two men heatedly making out beside her, in their own little world. Excited declarations of love could be heard from all around her, and Cassie could barely contain her emotions.

        “Fuck. I’m so nervous.” Elliot whimpered, taking Cassie out of her daze. “What if I fuck everything up?”

      “You won’t, _I promise_ ,” Cassie found herself saying, squeezing her shoulders, “Keep things light and casual. Like you’re meeting with an old friend.”

       “An old friend I want to see naked and underneath me.” Elliot uttered, cheeks flushing.

       “Whipped.” Mack coughed.

              “You’re no better, bitch.”  Levi playfully sneered.

         “All of you are hopeless.” Cassie groaned. “I need new friends.”

                Elliot anxiously tapped onto her phone, the group idly waiting in the center of the parade, until from the corner of her eye Cassie saw the woman of the hour creep up behind Elliot.

      “Boo!” Alys teased, alerting the blonde. Elliot was so shocked she dropped her phone on the muddy ground.

         “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” They worried, reaching out to grasp it.  

    “It’s my fault, um—OH! _Alys_!” Elliot shrieked, so surprised that she dropped her phone again the second Alys put it in her hand.

     “Surprise! I’m here!” They exclaimed, jumping into her arms, “It was a two-hour drive, but it was so worth it.”

    “I’m so glad you did! I’m really gay.” Elliot blinked, realizing her flub, “I mean I’m really happy. I meant to say that but then it came out as gay—,”

       “Well you’re in luck because I’m really gay too.” Alys teased, poking her nose.

        “My knight in shining armor, here to rescue me.” Elliot grinned.

        “I prefer to be called ‘prince’, thank you.” They replied cheekily. Elliot rolled her eyes.

            Levi coughed, “Get a room.”

     “Shush, Levi. Gay shit is happening.” Mack rolled her eyes, attempting to be discreet and doing a very bad job of it.

       Elliot rolled her eyes, “Alys, these are my friends. Levi, Mack, and Cassie.” She then paused dramatically, “Run while you still can.” 

  “Um, or the greatest people you will ever meet. _Do not_ listen to her.” Levi introduced himself, bowing with an exaggerated flourish. He then grasped Alys’s hand, “You break her heart I break your neck, are we clear?”

        “You’re… not exactly threatening with your green hair and rainbow cape, but yeah. We’re clear.” Alys smiled, hands practically shaking with excitement. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

    “Ooh, solid burn.” Mack snickered. “I like you already. You’ll fit right in with our brand of misfits. Levi, try not to corrupt them too much.”

        Alys beamed, leaning onto Elliots side as their partner slung an arm over them. 

        Cassie grinned back at her, shaking her head. “So how do you... um…”

 “I identify as non-binary. For now. I mean, that’s what I feel the most comfortable with.” Alys said. Elliot beamed.

        “Live your truth, honey. You’re perfect as you are.” Levi announced.

    “Thanks.” They breathed, eyes glistening over.

          And that was that. 

                “Group selfie!” Mack exclaimed, plucking out her phone from her pocket.

       It was a moment Cassie will always cherish in her heart.       

 

             Cassie realized that the whole point of going to pride wasn’t just going to the parade. It was meeting the people. Listening to their stories. Hanging out with her friends. Watching Alys and Elliot bond and share secret kisses when they thought no one was looking.

   Cassie was happy that Elliot finally found someone to call her own. It made her giggle that at one point she was jealous of Elliot, thinking the other woman had feelings for Mack. That time felt like centuries ago now.    

      She briefly wondered when Levi would finally settle down himself, but he was a free spirit. He loved his single life. There were no rules or pressure for Levi. Cassie decided right then that as long as he was happy, then so was she.  

     “So, what do you think?” Mack asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. Cassie gazed curiously at her girlfriend. “First pride together, baby. What’s the verdict?”

        “I love it!” Cassie exclaimed, allowing her hips to sway with the beat of the music. “It’s like… I feel so…”

     “Gay?” Mack offered, gazing at her. She snickered.

            “Happy. Free. Loved.” Cassie replied, pulling her close. “This is everything I could ever want.” Cassie breathed in deeply, burying her face into Mack’s shoulder. “I love you so much, Mackie.” 

      “I love you so much, too. In this life and in every one after.” Mack sighed.

       “Cassie…” Mack began, her voice cautious. Cassie noticed the change in her tone and held onto her tightly. She rolled back and forth on her feet. The loud music and screaming hurt Cassie’s ears as she tried to concentrate on her beloved.

         “Breathe, love. You’re so _pale_.” She smiled lovingly. “What is it?”

    “In my life, when everything was moving so fast and changing around me, you were the only thing that made sense,” Mack began, taking deep, steadying breaths. “You cared for me when no one else would. You loved me even when I hated you. You gave me the strength and courage that I needed when I didn’t have it myself.” She swallowed, a lump forming in her throat, “It was always you. No matter what hell we went through together, something always brought me back to you. You were the only person in my life that I felt safe to be myself in. A-and yet… the one person I feared I would lose if I ever admitted my truth.”

     “Jokes on you, Mack. I’m just as gay as you are.” Cassie rumbled, her voice thick with emotion. She could feel everyone’s eyes gazing at her. She could feel that something important was about to happen. The energy in the air was resonating deep within her bones.

         But she kept her focus on her beloved Mack.

    “You inspire me, Cassie,” She replied, voice shaking and weak, “Every day, I fall deeper into your soul and I find a new reason to love you. You’re my soulmate, Cass. In this universe and in every one after. I’m convinced th-that no matter where we find ourselves after this life, you’ll be with me. I’m not sure when I started to love you—probably before I even knew what love was. But I knew—from the moment I laid eyes on you that day as I crashed into your backyard with my beach time ken, and you had ball gown Barbie—,” her voice carried off with a strained chuckle, “That you were going to be my forever. I-I know that you… had already proposed to me, but I felt that it was unfair because you were drunk and just starting to figure out your feelings. So that’s why I decided that I was going to do this right. I went to your parents the other day and asked them permission to marry you. I wanted for you to have motivation for going off on that big opportunity to New York. So that by this time next year, we’ll call each other wives. S-solid plan, don’t you think?”

       Cassie laughed. It came out as a garbled sound, her breath shaky and full of nerves.

     Mack when to grab the velvet box from her pocket, but due to her shaking hands she accidentally dropped it on the ground between them.

         A kind stranger crept in between them and placed it in Mack’s palms.

   All was quiet.

        Then,

           “Cassandra Annabelle Martin, will you marry me?”

     Tears. Tears pooled from Cassie’s eyes, as she collapsed upon herself, falling onto her knees and into Mack’s embrace. 

   Of course, she’d say yes. Gods, she _wanted_ to say yes. But she was so overwhelmed with her love for this woman and the effort she probably went into to get this ring, and the meaning behind it, that she couldn’t.

       So, instead, soft moans of approval escaped her lips as she held onto Mack for dear life, and her fiancé kissed her tenderly. 

    And, like always, Mack was a rambling mess after her previous smooth introduction. “I-I’m sorry, was this a bit much? D-did you want me do this while we’re alone? I-I don’t mean to pressure you into anything you weren’t comfortable with—,”

      “ _Christ_ , Mack, you’re ruining the fucking moment!” Levi squeaked, shaking his head.

   “Don’t forget to put the ring on her, babe.” Elliot said gently, kneeling beside them, and patted the hand that held the velvet box.

     “Y-you really want to be my wife?” Cassie whimpered, once she’d found her voice, “Even if you’d wait a whole year for me?”

       “I love you, Cassie. I’d wait a thousand years if I had to.”

  This only prompted more tears to fall down Cassie’s face, and she collided into Mack again, kissing her. 

     “Yay,” Cassie decried, barely able to contain her emotions at this point, “You’re in love with me.”

      “Always.” She replied, her hands shaking as she managed to get the engagement ring on Cassie’s finger.

    The crowd around them cheered with glee, but they paid them no mind. They got up and embraced one another, both of them crying now, before their lips meeting again in a tender, passionate kiss.

       From somewhere, confetti streamers appeared and exploded around them, causing the crowd to erupt in cheers once more.

        “Mackassie is real!” Levi screeched like a madman, engulfing his two favorite humans into a hug. “Love wins!”

      “I get to call you my _fiancée_!” Cassie declared.

         “I get to call _you_ my fiancée!” Mack parroted, peppering her face with kisses.

    A plethora of ‘congratulations’ and ‘beautiful ring’ were thrown at them, nothing more than a dull roar in their ears as they were too wrapped up in each other.  

         “We’re not normally this dramatic, I swear.” Elliot chimed softly, giving Alys a gentle kiss. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach and she wanted to sing and dance. 

   They chuckled. “You have amazing friends, Elliot,” They gave her a teasing grin, “Hopefully I can stick around long enough to get to know you all.”

      “That can be arranged,” She breathed, heart full of love. “Because I quite enjoy your company.” 

       “And I enjoy yours.” Alys beamed.

  They were about to kiss each other when Cassie and Mack burst into their happy bubble, showing off their engagement ring.

      “She proposed to me at pride, isn’t that incredible?”

     Considering from how they all started? Where at one point in their lives, Cassie worried for Mack’s future? Where there were some days that Mack couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning?  

    And now, here they all were. Cassie loved her life and had a job.  Levi no longer struggled with his alcohol addiction and had a steady boyfriend who accepted him as ace. Throughout the whole mess of it all, she somehow managed to find love on her own.

      “Incredible. I’m so, _so_ happy for you, Cassie.” She exclaimed, her voice thick with emotion.

   Levi laughed, slinging his arms around his girls in a comforting embrace. “What are we doing standing around like this for? Time to party!”

        “No need to tell me twice!” Mack shrieked, and without warning, she hopped on Cassie’s back.

          Elliot smiled. Alys laughed.

    Levi called an Uber to take them all to the nearest bar to celebrate the proposal.  


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vignettes of Cassie and Mack's relationship through the years. Time has healed old wounds. Above all else, love remained.

 

 

 

 

 

> _**“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”-Albert Camus** _
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

**December 20 th, 2016 **

IT WAS A DIFFICULT TRANSITION.

      At first, for Mackenzie. She’s slept in the same bed with Cassie for nearly half her life, her first night without her fiancée was hell on earth. The young woman assured herself that everything will be fine, she’ll make it through this, but she cried and cried and by the time she was finished, it was already morning. 

       She didn’t sleep. She struggled to eat. She lost weight. She had to be on watch twenty-four seven until she got her act together, because she was ashamed of even facing Cassie. Had it not been for Levi or Alys or Elliot, Mack sure as hell wouldn’t be able to survive this long year without her love.

       She bonded with Alys since they also suffered like this prior to meeting Elliot. They loved her, and was grateful for the attention she gave them, but she was lonely and craved to physically be with Cassie. Alys held Mack those long nights when those inner demons took over, and she wouldn’t let Levi or Elliot in.  

       Alys helped Mack develop a routine to keep in contact with Cassie and their relationship grew stronger because of it. They say “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and Mack’s case was no exception. If anything, she was even more proud of her fiancée, because she was out living her dream in the big city and still remembered her humble roots. They called and texted each other every day. 

        Being away from Cassie had a few perks—the situation helped gain Mack a sense of independence, and since she had more free time, she picked up a few hobbies along the way like knitting or creating origami figures. Her world couldn’t stop simply because her soulmate wasn’t nearby—she had to keep going. Cassie would be devastated if she found out Mack barely tried to live her life in her absence.  

       She’s gotten into a few odd waitressing jobs here and there, saving up money for big future expenses. Long nights were spent on the phone with Cassie, as they talked about buying their own home that could comfortably fit two kids and a dog. They were so sleep deprived by the time morning came but the conversations would leave a warm feeling in Mack’s chest, and it was so worth it.

       So, Mack had her good days and bad days—the same went for Cassie. But they knew that when the day came for Cassie’s return, all of this would be arbitrary.

      

        Mack let out a loud yawn as she aimlessly scratched her elbow and clambered out of the car with Alys. They were on a late-night milk run because Levi wanted to make pancakes at 3 am, but they were missing some ingredients. Cassie howled with laughter through the FaceTime feature at the mess those three idiots made in their apartment.

      “Why is this my life,” Alys quietly moaned, throwing their head back.

       Mack pointed a finger, “Hey, don’t blame me here. I just wanted to have a quiet night with my scrapbook and wine. You three dolts barged into my apartment with no warning.”

        “Please, let me question my existence in peace.” They sneered, shoving her playfully.  

        “Good luck with that.”

  The sound of windchimes sounded over head as they walked through the door, only seeing a few customers and one clerk at the counter.

         “Ick, my hands are so sticky.” They mutter, tapping their palms together, not enjoying the feel of maple syrup.

          “I’m sorry, last I checked I wasn’t going shopping with a toddler. Go stand in time out.” Mack rolled her eyes, pointing to the trash can.

          “You’re a cruel mistress.”

          “Bitch, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened in your life.” Mack replied, voice lacing with sass.      

           “That’s debatable. Elliot’s number one. Not exactly sure where you land on that list.”

         “We’re spilling the tea in this Chili’s tonight.”  Mack cackled.

         Alys rolled their eyes. As they headed over to the dairy section, Mack had the feeling she was being watched. A lurking figure appeared in the corner of her eye, a ghost from her past she hadn’t seen in months.

        Mack didn’t want to wait long to find out if her suspicion is correct. “Just grab two percent and lets’ _go._ ” She says urgently, taking Alys by surprise at how quickly her mood changed.  

      “Didn’t Levi say we were out of Nutella?”

      “Move that cute ass of yours to the cash register, Al!”

       “Okay, sheesh.”

        Mack could feel her chest beginning to hurt, and that familiar urge to crawl into a hole and let the world swallow her up. She could hear the footsteps come closer and without warning, someone reached out to touch her.

       “Jesus fucking Christ,” Mack exclaimed, tumbling into Alys, who comically dropped the milk. “Who the hell do you think—,” The woman’s eyes started to water, and she sputtered out a nervous apology.

       “I-I’m so sorry. It’s late, and I mistook you for someone else.” Her breath came out as a shaky whisper. Taking a moment to collect herself, she looked at Mack up and down again before her eyes widened in realization. “Hold on a moment… Mackenzie… is that really you?” The woman reached out to touched her daughter’s face, who flinched away. “You’ve pierced your ears. And you shaved your hair.” She swallowed thickly, “You look different. A good different.”

         Alys poked Mack’s shoulder, “I’m gonna… go pay for the milk I just broke.” They mutter, and quietly slip away so Mack and her mother could talk.

       “What do you want, mother?” Mack asked, folding her arms. She really hoped she looked intimidating. “Are you here to order me how to live my life?”

        “I—Mackenzie, I never—,” Lisa Wilson sucked in a deep breath, as she tried to collect herself. “I was hoping I’d run into you here. So that way I can offer my apologies in person,” She shakes her head, “Diane kept in touch with me, from time to time. Letting me know what you girls are up to. Needless to say I was surprised when I found out you two were intimate. That bit if information helped… explain… a lot, Mackenzie.”

       “I’ve been in love with her my whole life, mom. Surely, you never suspected that once?”

       Lisa shook her head in embarrassment, “Your father and I… we were blind to that sort of thing, honey. We were none the wiser. We’d always assumed—well, we’d _hoped_ that you would one day mature and find a man to bring home to us.”       

        “Wow. You’re even more oblivious than Cassie.” Mack grumbled.

       “Speaking of—ah, you two are still—um,”

       “Girlfriends?” Mack supplied for her, and she nodded. “We’re more than that, actually. We’re fiancées. When Cassie comes back from her internship in six months, we’re going to elope.” 

       “Oh my,” Lisa chimed, her eyes brimming with tears, “That’s such a big milestone for you two to make at such a young age. Are you sure you’re ready?”

        Mack shrugged, playing with the silver band on her finger, “Life is short, mom. Cassie’s the gal who stole my heart. Why wait?”

         Lisa was quiet for a long, terse moment. She then started to cry, right there in the middle of a convenience store.

         Mack awkwardly tried to soothe her, “Aw, jeez mom. There’s no need for that. Relax, now.”

         “I’m a horrible mother,” The woman blubbered, “I forced you to—to do all these things when you were young that tormented you. I had thought it was good parenting to get you involved in all these activities, to keep you distracted and focused on what really mattered. But you were such a—such an unhappy kid. You never smiled in photos. Your whole life, you behaved as if you were holding your breath. From what, I didn’t know until that night,” She grabbed Mack’s shoulders, “I was ignorant and cruel, Mack. You didn’t deserve the treatment your father and I gave you. You—just wanted love and we took that from you.”

        “Where is all this coming from?” Mack asked, her voice thick with emotion. 

         “I know it’ll be a long time until you ever forgive me. I understand that. Your absence helped me realize that no matter where you go in life, I just want you to be _happy_. I want you to wake up and love being alive. We may be your parents, but you’re an individual, Mack. There’s only so much we can do to help you succeed in life,” Lisa wipes her eyes with her sleeve, “I have nightmares about that night, you know? I just see your face, broken and crying, and Cassie, pulling you away from us. Over and over and over again. And I think to myself that I’m the worst mother in the world for betraying your trust in that way. There’s so many ways that night could have gone—for better or for worse—but the worst part of it all was that I was too much of a coward to say anything at all.”  

          The tears came streaming down Mack’s cheeks now, as she let herself become vulnerable and embrace her mother.

      “You couldn’t have known better, mom. You were a different person then.”

       “But your father—oh, gods, the words I could have said to your father!” She replied weakly, “I know he’s a holy man, and set in his ways. But he was being so unnecessarily cruel.” Lisa held onto Mack’s hands tightly now, “I… I want to say he’ll see the error of his ways, but it’s going to be a long time until then, my love. All I’m certain of is, that when you came out you told us ‘I’m still me’. And you are. You’re still that adorable girl who would sneak in her Ken doll to play with when we went to church. You’re still that girl who fought us whenever we tried to get you to wear frilly dresses or high heels. You’re still that girl who stood up for her best friend because the local bullies were teasing her. You’re still the girl who rescued Levi from that terrible home he was in. You’re my beloved Mackenzie. Your sexuality—your feelings for Cassie—is just another beautiful addition to who you are, and there’s nothing anyone can do to tell you wrong. I realize that now. And I realized I could easily miss out on so many other parts of your new life if I chose to be angry and bitter about something you can’t change.”  She gently wiped away Mack’s tears from her face.

         “You have no idea how long I’ve needed to hear that,” Mack uttered, hugging her close.

         “You get to exhale now, Mack. You get to be more you than you have been in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.” Lisa announced, something that’s been weighing on her heart for a long time. She hoped it came out clear enough for Mack to understand. 

         “I’ve missed you so much, mom.” 

          “I’ve missed you too, sweetheart. I swear, I won’t miss out on another moment of your life again. I’m going all in.”  

           “Good. That’s—that’s amazing.”

  Their tender moment was cut off by a slow clap from the clerk, a short, stout man who would rather be anywhere but here, said, “This is really touching and all, like hurray for the gays, but my shift ended thirty minutes ago and I’d like to go home now.”

       “Um. Right. To be continued, then.” Mack said warily, holding onto her mother’s hand. “Alys, do you have the milk?”

        “And the Nutella and those Oreos with the orange filling. It was the last one on the shelf from Halloween!” They chirped.  

        “You’re such a fucking dork,” Mack groaned, and checked the time on her watch. “Mom, it’s really late. Were you planning on going back home? Mine is only a few blocks away.”

         “That’s—very kind of you, sweetie. Are you sure your friends won’t mind?”

          Mack beamed, “I’ve got my mom back and she’s here to stay. They’ll need to deal.”

  “I’m not going anywhere for a long time.” Lisa Wilson agreed, giving Mack a kiss on her cheek, making Alys smile fondly. 

           Mack walked out of the convenience store feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had originally planned to get milk for blueberry pancakes. Instead, she received something much sweeter.

           She couldn’t wait to tell Cassie about this.

 

* * *

 

       **May 14 th, 2017 **

Mackenzie woke up with a shriek.  

    She felt someone crash into her, stopping her lungs from doing the very thing they were meant to do.   

      “Wake up, hoe!” It was Levi. Idiot. 

 “Fuck me, what time is it?” She bemoaned, attempting to push him off her.

          “It’s the butt crack of dawn!” Elliot exclaimed, pushing her door open. “You have to be at the airport in five hours!”

      “What—why—,” Mack stuttered, rolling over to check her clock. “What’s going on?”

    “You’re picking up your fiancée from the airport, sweetie,” Alys said, the softer, quieter one of the two. How they decided to stick around this long even with how wild their friends are, was a mystery to Mack. She was grateful for their friendship regardless. “You didn’t forget, right?”

         “My fiancée—,” she stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening. “My fiancée! Cassie!” She exclaimed, eyes getting teary as she hopped out of bed. “I get to see her today?”

      “Yup, now get your ass ready to go, we’ll wait outside for you.” Levi assured her, giving Mack a kiss on her cheek.

     “Oh gods, I can’t believe…” Mack whimpered, wide awake now.

   It’s really been a year. A year since they graduated college. A year since she proposed to her girlfriend.

     Mack would be lying if she said the separation wasn’t hard. The first week sleeping without Cassie was torture. She had curled up besides one of Cassie’s flannels, breathing in her scent, and crying into it. Elliot found her sleeping on the floor the next morning. 

       For a while, Mack refused to eat. She couldn’t sleep. She had lost all motivation to see her friends and family. Levi had to bring in back up of Janet and Gabriel, and they had to convince her that everything was going to be alright.     

   Then, slowly but surely, Mack got into a routine. She started running. Every morning, she’d eat a simple breakfast of yogurt and fruits and run afterwards. She’d distract herself by filling out her resume, sending it out to different places that were hiring. She got herself out of the horrible mindset of Cassie leaving her and making an effort to communicate honestly with her love.

   They’d talk for hours at night. They kept up with sending each other emails. Texts. Updates on their achievements.

      Life didn’t stop just because the other wasn’t near.

 Mack knew Cassie would have been so disappointed in her if she quit. If she had just… given up.

        But Mack knew she was stronger now. She was a different person than she was before. She was capable of living on her own. She was capable of accomplishing things that would make Cassie proud to be her fiancée. 

   So, she tried. Every day she tried something new.

          And eventually, her hard work paid off.

   The days passed on faster because she had a new purpose. She made sure she was always with someone, whether it was Alys, Elliot, or Levi.  

      Holidays were lonely without her love to comfort her, but she didn’t let that ruin the festivities. Cassie was still there regardless—in digital form. Thank goodness for FaceTime and Skype.  

            Distance may have made the heart grow fonder, but their relationship grew even stronger.

   And now, a year later, they were back together.   

         “Where are we meeting Cassie?” Mack asked, clutching onto Elliot.

  “Terminal B. You can’t miss her with her giant purple bag.” The blonde replied, rubbing her shoulder soothingly.

          “I’m so proud of her,” Mack whimpered, thinking of all the accomplishments Cassie’s made over the last year. Now she’s assistant manager of her creative agency. Because of her skills, she’s eligible to open her own branch in Toronto. They had enough money in their pockets—thanks to Cassie’s job and her parents support—to buy a home this year. “She really has grown into her own.”

         “So, have you.” Alys praised, patting Mack’s shoulder. “You have your fair share of accomplishments.”  

    “Her win is my win.” Mack shook her head. 

 They snickered, bumping shoulders with Mack, “You’re both _animals_.”

        “Hey, we have a healthy queer relationship under our belt. That’s not something to scoff at. Considering from where we started, we’ve really come a long way.” Mack snapped at them and bit the inside of her cheek.  “Um. Sorry. Not sure where that came from.”

        “Take it easy on the teasing, Alys.” Elliot urges, patting her partner’s shoulder. 

   “I’m only trying to lighten the mood!”

                “That’s my job, and you’re doing it horribly.” Levi grumbled. “Sad. You’re fired.”

       Alys burst into uncontrollable laughter, holding onto Elliot to keep them steady.

           Life without Cassie had put a strange wrench in the group. She was the missing puzzle piece that held everyone together. They still all loved each other, that much was certain, but Mack couldn’t help but feel lonely even though she was surrounded by these lovely humans.

         Mack wasn’t sure how long they were waiting for. It could have been hours. She glanced briefly out the window to see the evening sky.

        “Guess who,” a gentle voice chimed. One that belonged to an angel. 

   Mack felt her entire body snap awake. Tears sprung into her eyes. She felt the warm embrace of her love—a feeling she had craved for a whole year—collide into her, and her friends excitedly screeching in her favor.   

        “C-Cassie!” Mack had tried to say, though it came out like a garbled whine. Her voice was sore from crying. Her eyes red. Her hands shaking.  

     She whirled around, jumping into Cassie so forcefully that they tumbled backwards into a chair, limbs flailing haphazardly.

         “I love you, I love you, I love you, _I love you_ ,” The young woman exclaimed, peppering kisses onto Mack’s face.   

     “You’re here. Y-you’re really _here_.” Mack babbled, unable to stop the waterfall of tears pouring down her face.

       “Oh fuck, you have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to kiss you like this all year.” Cassie admitted, colliding their lips together once more.

           “Well then, you have all night to make it up to me,” Mack rumbled, her hands getting lost in Cassie’s hair.

     “I promise I’ll make it worth the wait.” She huffed, a tiny whimper escaping her mouth as she could feel her heart racing a mile a minute.

    Cassie felt a tap at her shoulder. “Uh. Hi, forgot about us? Your friends? The people who brought you two idiots together?” Levi pouted dramatically. 

          “Levi!” Cassie squealed, silently urging Mack to help her up and hold onto her shoes (that had somehow gotten lost in the mess) and hugged him tightly.    

     “I missed you so much, bitch.” He said, attempting to keep his voice steady. 

  “Aw. You _do_ have a heart.” 

           “Yeah, that slowly broke every day because you weren’t here.”

    “Drama queen.” Elliot rolled her eyes. She hugged Cassie next. “It’s good to have you back, Cass.”

             “It’s good to _be_ back.” Cassie sighed, feeling her heart warm at the sight of all her favorite people hugging her. “And I have no plans of leaving any of you any time soon.” She smiled lovingly at her.

     “Well good, because you’re stuck with us forever.” It was meant to be sarcastic, a ludicrous statement, but Cassie was so emotional that by this point she burst into tears. She was so happy. She loved her friends. She’d accomplished so much over this last year. And now, they could start their forever.

   “Mack! You evil bitch! You made your fiancée cry!” Levi yelled.

  “I was being sarcastic!”   

       Cassie let out a shaky laugh. She didn’t care what came next. All she was certain of was that Mack would be in her life.

       Five years from now.

       Ten years from now.

           “Let’s get married, Cassie.” Mack beamed, jumping up and down excitedly.

           “I thought I’d have to wait another seventeen years for that.” Cassie smirked. 

           “Never again.” Mack groaned, cueing everyone in knowing laughter.     

          “I guess I’ll see you at the altar, then.” Cassie winked, causing Mack to swoon, “Wear something sexy.”

           “Wait, are we seriously doing this?” Levi asked, in awe. Cassie and Mack grinned at each other, before nodding. “Guys! Hey, wait for me!”

         Elliot and Alys eagerly following and laughing behind them, grabbed Levi’s hand and pulled him along.

       She was so grateful to live her dream. In this moment, it dawned on her that loving Mack was the best choice she ever made, because she found herself back here. Nothing was holding her back now.

       Taking a deep breath, she finally took a step toward her new future, excited to find out where it will lead.

 

* * *

 

 **TEN YEARS LATER**  

 

* * *

 

 

**January 5 th, 2026  **

Mack felt the bed dip beside her and snuggled closer to Cassie. “Are they finally sleeping?”

   “Yup. Bunny’s got the stars on in their bedroom and they’re out like a light,” Cassie mumbled, “The silly kid was convinced there was a monster under their bed.”  

       “That one and their creative mind,” Mack chuckled, briefly checking the time and groaning at it. It was 2:30 am. Sleepless nights were a constant thing in the Martin-Wilson household, now that they had a five-year old child with an overactive imagination and a newborn that just popped out of Mack’s womb seven days ago.      

   (Quite literally. She had a C-section.) 

     “Did reading to them help?”

           “Yeah, it did, darling. Reading helped.” Cassie yawned.

   “Hmm. Good.” Mack sighed, giving her a grateful kiss. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years already.”

       “Ten years?” Cassie parroted, after a beat of silence.

   “Ten years to the day I came out. Remember?” Mack shuddered, pulling Cassie close to her, “I can’t believe there was ever a time in my life where I was terrified to love you.”

        “You were so sad and anxious that day, Mack. I worried so much for you,” Cassie sighed, placing gentle kisses on her forehead, “But then, I was also so proud of you for trusting me with your feelings.”

         “Of course, you’ve known all this time.” Mack rolled her eyes.

     “It was like you had a sign hanging above your head, baby.” Cassie giggled. “I just… knew you needed time. I needed time. I didn’t realize I was in love with you then until much, much later.”

       “Ugh, waiting for you those days was torture.” Mack groaned. 

  “Hey, your girl was barely getting over a break up and suffering at her internship. I had so many other things on my mind, while caring for you. I was a mess. A hot mess.”

       “Nah. Just hot.” Mack whispered, placing a loving kiss on Cassie’s cheek.

   “Oh, stop it, you.”

           “Never!” Cassie smirked, and, propping herself on her elbows so she could face Mack, she started to tickle her.

        They rolled around in the sheets, sleep deprived and hungry (Mack’s stomach growled somewhere in the middle of this) until their baby’s anxious shriek split through the night.

         “Oh, I just got up…” Cassie bemoaned.

  “I’ve got them,” Mack assured, giving Cassie a kiss. “You rest.”

         “I heard your stomach growling earlier. I’ll make you something—,”

    “Trust me, I have everything under control, baby. Get some sleep.”

              “Fine,” She huffed, reluctantly getting comfortable. “Hey. Mackenzie.”

     Mack stopped, pausing just before she left the room.

             “Happy tenth anniversary. I love you.” Cassie whispered, “And I’m so, _so_ proud of you. Here’s to many more.”

        “I love you too.” Mack grinned, blowing her wife a kiss. “And thank you. I’m proud of you too.”

     Cassie sighed heavenly. 

       Ten years ago, Cassie was lost. She was confused. She could feel her emotions drawing into herself and at any given moment, she would break.

       Ten years ago, Cassie fell in love. She fell in love with her best friend. Mack was everything she had desired but she was afraid to have. She had convinced herself that having these emotions and feelings towards her best friend were sinful.

        And yet, ten years ago, something wonderful happened. They made it work. They were open and honest with each other. Drastic measures had to happen in order to get them to realize their feelings—a whole village brought their souls together.

       Ten years ago, this was a sad day for Mack because she feared Cassie would leave her.

       Ten years ago, Cassie assured that she wouldn’t dream of doing so.

      Cassie wiped her eyes as she realized she couldn’t be in her bed anymore, craving the love and comfort of her wife. 

        The floors creaked underneath her as Cassie found Mack in their kitchen, breastfeeding their tiny newborn. Mack was singing quietly to them, blissfully unaware of Cassie’s presence. It was in that moment Cassie finally understood the vision she had, all those years ago. A vision which at that time, she was confused as to why she even had it in the first place.

    And yet, here they are now.   

    Everyone moved on with their lives and had partners. Alys and Elliot moved into a cute apartment downtown with their beautiful four-year-old kid and two dogs. Levi still has his flat and hasn’t settled down, living like a bachelor at thirty. He has a pet turtle named Shelly to keep him company. The irony is that Mathew, despite being the biological father to both Bunny and their newborn, found his own love and settled down before Levi did. New memories and traditions were formed. Friendships were tested throughout the years that only grew stronger. So much has changed and yet nothing did at all.  

      The young woman didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around Mack, carefully supporting their little baby as well. 

         “Hey,” Mack soothed, feeling Cassie’s tears soak her shoulder. “What’s the matter?” 

    “I-I was just…” Cassie babbled, wiping her eyes, “I just realized I probably can’t ever get through this day without crying multiple times. I think about how you once were, all those years ago and here you are now…”

      Mack smiled tearfully, leaning her head back on Cassie’s shoulder.

     “One day, I had a vision of us wearing matching wedding bands, a little one crawling on the floor beside us, and our hearts full of love. I just… can’t believe it took me so long for everything to click that this little one would be _them._ ” Cassie whispered, gently caressing the tiny human’s head.  

      “I had dreams of this moment for so many years. And in my dreams… I was scared because I was certain this little babe wouldn’t be my child, but yours and someone else’s.” 

       “Well, we sure proved ourselves wrong, hmm?” Cassie nodded, peppering kisses on Mack’s neck.

        “We sure did,” Mack breathed out, sighing as their baby detached her lips from her breast. “It was a long road to get there, but we did it.”

         “And hey, if it’s any consolation,” Cassie winked, “You can tell your past-self you still have that bangin’ body after popping out another human.”

         Mack rolled her eyes, gaze flickering down to the baby weight she’d gained since conception. “You need to get your eyes checked. Love has made you blind.”   

        “Love has made me stronger.” Cassie quipped, placing a finger underneath Mack’s chin and pulling her in for a tender kiss. Mack hummed in agreement.  

     Cassie then opened her arms so she could hold the baby, and, finished with breastfeeding, Mack placed her gently in her arms, “I still find it kind of ironic that Mathew ended up being the sperm donor for both our children.”  

     Mack smiled. She fixed her breast so that it was properly situated in her gown, giggling softly as she wrapped her arms around Cassie and the baby.

      “He offered. We jumped at the opportunity. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 Cassie decided then that she agreed with her. “Neither would I, darling.”   

           Mack’s eyes twinkled with delight, “When we have another, let’s ask Levi.”

           Cassie laughed, her heart racing. “Another? Babe, you just had this one.”  

     “I’m talking like… three years into the future. Not now. When this little one is walking and talking. Or maybe we could adopt.”

      “You drive a hard bargain, Mrs. Martin-Wilson.” Cassie said, “I’ll think about it.”

     Cassie knew what she was doing. Mack was distracting her. From the pain that this day brought. From the uncertainty. From those scary nights after Mack came out where she would do nothing but lay in bed. Sometimes Cassie still had nightmares about those, fearing that she was still living in that reality.

    But all it took was a gentle embrace from her love to assure her that everything was going to be okay. That they’re no longer stuck in the past.

           A tear made its way down Cassie’s face again.

          “Earth to Cassie,” She whispered, wiping it away.

           “You’re the only thing in this crazy world that makes sense to me. I owe so much of my happiness to you.” Cassie said, meaning it. “I never want our kids to feel the way you and I did, all those years ago. To feel alone, lost, and scared. I want them to live a happy life with us.”

       “They will and they are,” Mack said, “We’ll make sure of it.”   

        Cassie hummed. Then as her baby rapped their tiny fingers around her thumb, a name came to her, “Claire,” she cooed, smiling at her beautiful wife, “Claire Martin-Wilson.”

         “Bunny and Claire Martin-Wilson,” Mack sniffed tearfully.

         “Mommies?” A sleepy voice chimed, holding a blanket and stuffed animal. Bunny tiredly flipped the light on in their kitchen. “M’sleepy, but you’re being loud.”

          “Oh, sorry love. We’re going back to bed now. Would you like to join mommy and mama?” Mack cooed, heading over to her child and picking them up, tickling them. “We finally figured out a name for your sibling, Bunny.”

          “Tell me! Tell me!” They clapped their hands. 

          “Their name is Claire. If they want to change it sometime in the future, that’s their choice. But for now, it’s Claire.” Cassie beamed.

          “I like it.” Bunny decided. “Do yah think they’ll want to be a girl or boy?”

           “Only time will tell, my beloved. Have you decided yet?” At Bunny’s shake of their head, Mack cooed and ruffled their hair. “We’ll be rooting for you the whole way—and when you do figure it out, we’ll be right there with you.”

            “I love you, mommy.” Bunny replied, giving their mother a big smooch on her cheek.

            “I love you too, sweetheart,” Mack swallowed thickly, turning around to smile at Cassie carrying little Claire, “All of you. I love all my babies so much.”

            Cheekily, Cassie gave her a wink in return, sticking out her tongue. The growing family made their way into the bedroom and fell sleepily into the soft bedsheets. Claire was cradled in Cassie’s arms, making soft cooing sounds, and Bunny was nestled on Mack’s side. They barely had enough room left for themselves, but neither mother minded. This was how their nights usually ended up, without question.  

       Tomorrow, they had a busy world to go back to. Friends to entertain. Jobs to pursue and thrive in.

       For now, all Cassie focused on was this tender moment. The loudness of tomorrow will come, and she’ll greet it when she’s ready. 

       Their little human let out a loud burp, startling both parents, and they chuckled. 

       Cassie focused on the soft pattering of rain on her bedroom window, the gentle snores coming from Bunny, and Mack’s quiet singing to help baby Claire close their eyes.  

        _How wonderful it is to be alive. I made the right choice, all those years ago,_ were her final thoughts, before she too, drifted off into a blissful sleep. 

                                                                                                                       **THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for going on this journey with me. hard to believe that after all these months, this part of my life I can finally close the book and say, "it's over". Writing Cassie's Choice was therapeutic, similar to writing Sky Full of Stars. Although, I wrote SFOS during a time when I felt alone and mournful and grieved, and creating that universe helped me portray my loneliness into Carmilla and Laura's characters. With Cassie's Choice, I was able to portray my feelings once again through Mack and Cassie, and was yet again a different person compared to when I first started writing the story. 
> 
> A big thank you to the two loves of my life- Skuylar and Gabriel. Without you two dorks, and your endless enthusiasm, Cassie's Choice would have been nothing more than a pipe dream. You both listened to me while I ranted, raved, and cried over this story, guided me through writing it, and gave me the motivation I needed to carry on. A year ago I honestly never thought I'd be here, finding comfort and my home in two people I've never physically met in real life. And yet here we are. I've spilled my soul to you both and you two know things that people in my own life don't--and to be honest, I have no idea who I was prior to meeting you both. It's mind boggling to me that this humble fandom has brought three people from opposite sides of the world together- and despite our busy lives, we still make time for each other. I hope you don't mind me gushing about how much I equally love you both on here. xD 
> 
> Another thank you to Gabi, whom I had the pleasure of meeting at ComicCon, and for inspiring me to write "Call Me Maybe" for you, which was a nod to the experience we shared there! We don't talk as often but you're one of the important humans who was apart of making this story come to life, and for that I will always be grateful. Thank you to Katie (fuck-you-i-am-spiderman and ukulelekatie!! I love two Katies!!) for your many words of encouragement. Just knowing that you were so excited to read this story and listen to me talk about it meant so much. Hope I didn't disappoint! 
> 
> Of course, there are so many others I wish to thank, but anyway, these special beans deserve a shout-out. For now, I leave you here, hoping that you've enjoyed this behemoth of a story that took me nine months to write. All the key-smashing and hand cramps were worth the end result, truthfully. 
> 
> I hope you all have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are in the world.  
> And that's all she wrote, folks.  
> Love,  
> nikki~


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